Insurance
Have you noticed that when those Progressive commercials come on lately there seem to be more and more male characters working alongside the retro bobbed perk factory known only as Flo? Well those aren't actors... although I guess they are now in a way. You see, I was one of those who had an unexplainable crush on this character. Always looking up articles on her and swooning over her wide eyed adorable smile and nurturing helpful nature. Of course I was also lonely and unhappy. When the commercials first began there was only her and the customers. As the popularity of the character spread, so too did the number of male characters seen alongside her. I know why. Don't ask me how it's possible, all I know is that it happens. Maybe that's enugh. Why question it, know what I mean? Ever notice how everything in those commercials is white? How everybody is always so happy and having such a good time? The simple truth is... We lonely television watching outcasts seem to have our own heaven. The good news is that you don't even have to die (not exactly anyway) to make it here. I don't know what the rules and conditions are to find it, if this is the only place of it's kind, or anything. All I can tell you is what happened to me. Yes. I'm here now. I'm with Flo. The Facebook page she has? It's the actual character reaching into the world I used to inhabbit. Sometimes over the net we sort of dead can still communicate with the fully living as if we were a part of your world. But over the net only. So anyway here's my story. I was always an unhappy person. Even as a kid. Other people drove me insane. Television was my only real companion. I was slowly dying of loneliness. One stormy day not too long ago I just had to get out and walk. Don't ask me why, I just felt like I had to go. My jacket collar turned up against the wind and rain, I was passing a large dirt and dead grass field a couple of blocks from my house. Saw it every time I went out, nothing new. Except that was... for this little oldfashioned looking shop with warmly lighted windows and doors. it looked to be open. But this wasn't possible. This place wasn't here, and had not been built. Ever. My thoughts were put on hold however when I saw who was standing inside the glass front doors of the place. It was Flo. Well Flo wasn't real, but there was no mistaking the real character. This wasn't a fake. Somehow Stephanie Courtney was in front of me in her Flo character, looking out at me with her hips cocked with her usual playful innocence to one side, one hand on the cocked hip, and smiling sweetly at me as if she knew I was cold and hoped I'd come inside for a few minutes to get warm. Well HELL!! I wasn't going to pass up a chance to meet my crush!! GOD no!! So Although the progressive logo on the outside and they don't have any actual physical stores I told myself that maybe they were shooting a new spot or something. I ran to converse with Mrs. Courtney in the full on getup of the character my crush was for. She took me into a back room, fited me with dry clothes (a Progressive uniform) and offered me warm coffee and a fresh warm danish. I asked her where the camera crew and other actors were. She explained with her trademark gentle amusement that there were'nt any. That I had somehow been allowed to find her actually place and her actual self. Somehow she was seperate from the actress. Don't ask me how it's possible. I don't really care. The important thing is that she told me that I never had to leave. I could stay with her here forever. It certainly didn't take me logn to decide! You may have seen me in some of the newer commercials. Passing one liners and happy smiles with my new love. As I said, we can still roam the net here, and I understand that they searched for me, then for my body. They never found either. Or the little shop, that oasis in the middle of an empty soaking cold field. They say I simply vanished. I say who the hell cares? I never liked any of them anyway. Well, gotta go for now. Customers. Man they love us. stay glued to the T. V. folks. You may just see us.
Credited to Mrboom
Originally uploaded on March 30, 2012
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