Jarjar.exe
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NSFW WARNING
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I was awkae. I fpund a game left by Jack. I got a boner. It read 'don't play or the Jar Jar killer will come after you. You have twenty four hours after you play to get away if you do play it.' I put the game in the laserdic contatiner and started playing it. First thing I saw was jar Jar on the logo screen. He looked liked Evil Patrick but even more arrousing. I pressed X (get it) btton. Jason popped in teh game.
The first scene in the game was... JASON X NLoft CAFT MAKING OUT !!!!!!!11111 It was hot. Jar Jar showed up next to my character, who was Tails by the way. "Yo teh enemies will come. The world has three days befoe the end. Rememeber you haev to get Majoras maks back in that time." Then he left. Then I came in my journey.
Onsa our way we saw Frodo selling strawberries. "HEYYE mothefuker. Want to buy some." They healed 9999 health points so I bought them all even though I now be in negative debt.
Then we continued onto teh first temple. Inside the first temple it was a tree. The deku tree died. I wanted inside. Inside I found a dead body. It was Gabe. He recieved to many blowjobs. I kicked his face off. Then I continued walking until I reached the boss room. The bodd was the Kracnan from the Greek myths. I shot a gun. They died. I beat the first tmeple.
Jar Jar found me. He told me we had 60 hours left. Cats showed up. "Your bas to us belong all." Then he snakes shot at us and Jar JAr ate them. I continued until I rreaced the fire temple.
Before I got there I met with Squiward. He gave me advice. He said "The lesson of life is.......... YOLO!" Then I boner. Then he agve me a gun. In teh temple I saw a ead body. It was Charlottes. She had her bobs urned off fromf rie and cu,. The boss this time was Vegeta. He sent 9001 of him to me. I shot him 9002 times and won. He died. Jar JAr came back. He gave me a hug. "We have 36 hours left." Then he gave me a gun. Cats showed up. "How are you gentlement? Al you garaison belog to me."
I walkd ou again. I waslked on and found Shadow. He masterbating to garraife porn. "Tails remember the lesson is Robotnik." He gave me a gun. I walked onto the third temple. The third temple was water. I was now alf way through the game. In the temple there was a dead person. This one was Roman. he died from eatingtoo much Diary Queen. I went to the boss. the boss was Sonic.exe. He ran at me saying I am god. I got him and he died. Jar Jar came back. "You have 24 hours left." Then he gave me a gun. Cats showed up gain. "you are on the way to destrution."
I left the temple. I was walking. I found Link. "Remember get the girl." Then he gave me a gun. I walked to the final temple. The final temple was the temple of time. There was a dead persom. It was JakeHenry. He died from masterbeing to griafefefe porn. I found the boss. The boss was Uhcakip.exe. "Congragulations." He said and I shot him. Jar JAr walked back in. "You have 18 hours left." He gave me a gun. Cats walked in. "You have no chance to sruvie make your time." Then he left.
I left the temple understaning. I was in love. The person was..... my future wife. Her name was Cream. I wnet to her to her house and saw that Robotnik was using her. "PIngas." He said and I shot him. He died. Cream walked to me. "I love you. Will you marry me ?" Cream gave me a gun. I found a dead person. It was Jared. Jar Jar came up to me. "You have 12 hours left." He gave me a gun. Cats walked in. "Ha ha ha ha." I left to face Cats. I went to the boosss temple. I found a dead body. it was Dylan. I found the boss. It was Cats. "All your base are belong to us." He said and I shot him. He died. Jar Jar came to me. "You made it with twenty minutes left." He gave me a gun. The game had ended.
Epilogue: I married Cream. We had a kid. Their name was Mr. Blacker.
I turned off the game. The disc had hyperrealistic blood. I knew I was on teh hunt. I had to confess my ove. By making out. She was girl in pciture. I came to her propsed and she said yes. The Jar Jar Killer was.... Sunky.Mpeg. I remembered I had no guns in present day. So I karated kicked him. Chuck Norris would be prouse. I saved teh world. I deid but revivded. Then was a party. That was when I met my future wife. We had kids. It was all good. Thank you for listening to my therapy.
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