Jimmy Neutron: Attack of the Twonkies Xbox Edition
Author's note: This is a WIP: Shit ending will be replaced sometime soon.
Hi, my name is Rob, and I'm a HUUUUGE Nickelodeon fan. Well, the early 90's cartoons mostly. I have every SpongeBob Season on DVD, every Danny Phantom Episode on tape, and a disk containing cartoons that failed and had episodes. I had dozens of Rugrats tapes and countless amounts of it's merchandise. My room is packed with poster. action figures, and rows upon rows of tapes and DVDs.
One of my favorite things to collect are the video games.
The video games are pretty easy to find and are very cheap to buy. You can find these things anywhere that sells old/used games, from Amazon to the closing Video Stop. Or abandoned Blockbuster places.
I have almost every Nickelodeon-themed videogame. Everything from Danny Phantom to SpongeBob, I have it all. I play Nicktoons MLB nearly every day, Nicktoons Unite! almost every month, and Jimmy Neutron: The Game every two months.
One of my favorites was The Adventures of Jimmy Neutron: Attack of the Twonkies.
If you don't know what this game is, I'll explain it to you: Jimmy Neutron goes to space and gets some meteorite dust to prove that meteorites don't have "tails" in space. However, when he returns home, he accidentally releases bootleg furbies (called Twonkes) onto planet Earth. Twonkes grow into monsters when they listen to music, and Jimmy has to stop them using Sheen's singing to change them back to normal so Jimmy can capture them. The game was an obvious Luigi's Mansion knockoff, but it is still fun to play despite it's difficult boss battles.
One day I looked the game up on Wikipedia and learned that the game had a planned Xbox edition, but was cancelled. This surprised me, as Nickelodeon games always sold pretty well. I wanted to learn why the game was cancelled so I browsed the internet to find more information. After blindingly following links to other websites (I must have gone onto twelve porn sites during my search) I finally found a Gaming website that said that the game was produced for play testing in small numbers. I went onto in Ebay and found that someone was selling a Xbox playtest disk. I almost shat my pants: it was only $50. I quickly bought the game, as it wasn't up for auction. After that I began to write some trollpastas to keep me occupied during my wait for the game to arrive.
The game came five days later. i signed the delivery man's paper and quickly went to my TV to set up my Xbox. The disk was in a manilla slipcase so I had to take special care to take it out and put into my system. The disk was plain with "JN:AotT" written on it with black Sharpie. As I wondered why the game didn't come in a case I started the game and waited for the game to begin.
The game started up like usual, with Goddard shining the hologram menu over a overview of Retroville. However, the Retroville looked a lot more damaged than in the original menu screen. Some houses were burned down and some looked as if they were ripped apart. I ignored this, believing that this was made to make the game more exciting and edgy. I started a new game and watched the intro begin. The intro was the same until Jimmy got angry at Cindy's belief that meteorite's have "tails" in space. Jimmy's face looked incredibly disgusted and angered when he corrected her, and ended with Jimmy muttering: "You naive bit-". The principal walked in and told the class about the choir tryouts in the same fashion he did in the Gamecube version.
I was a bit surprised at Jimmy's swear, but I assumed it was a joke for the playtesters and kept playing. The game went like normal (Jimmy builds a small rocket ship before going to space to get the meteorite samples) until the scene when Jimmy discovers the Twonkie in the meteorite sample. In the original game Sheen, Carl, and Jimmy discover the twonkie in the sample before Sheen hears his favorite song on the radio. Sheen turns up the music. causing the twonkie to grow into a hideous monster called a Grounder. Jimmy and his friends escape the room and the game continues on.
However in this version the Grounder had much longer claws. Jimmy and his friends bolted to the door. The monster threw a chair, blocking off the door. Carl tried to push the chair, but the Grounder threw another chair at Carl's head. The chair hit its target, making a sickening crack as it caved in Carl's skull. Sheen turned to the Grounder and said "With the power of Ultralord, I'll-" Before he could finish, the monster thrust it's claw into Sheen's abdomen. Sheen went limp as the twonkie pulled its claw out of him. The monster looked at Jimmy and charged at him, blood dripping from it's claw.
Suddenly I was in control. I had to escape the classroom. Carl's bloodied corpse was in front of the door. I walked over to his body.
"The fat fuck is too heavy to move, maybe I can use something to get rid of it!"
I ran to the classroom's closet and grabbed the invention pieces to build the shrink ray. In the original version of the game, the creatures will be crowded around the radio. In this version, however, the creature followed Jimmy wherever Jimmy went. Jimmy built his shrink ray and shrank Carl's body, which was starting to turn a pale color.
The game went into a cutscene: Jimmy runs out of the classroom and slams the door shut. He sees Goddard and utters "Carl and Sheen are gone. Natural selection at it's finest."
Jimmy was about to say something else but the creature smashed through the door and it charged at him. Jimmy gave the monster a "bitch pls" look before shrinking the thing with the shrink ray.
Jimmy the proceeded to crush the creature with his foot until it was covered with orange blood and guts. Jimmy smiled broadly and turned to Goddard.
"Find my shit."
Goddard sniffed at a locker.
Jimmy opened the locker a pulled out a bag of weed and a sawn off shotgun. Jimmy loaded two rounds into the shotty and turned back to the hallway.
Suddenly, I was in control. I moved Jimmy over to the Cafeteria but was stopped by a Grounder. A message appeared or the screen:
"Press the R button to give the filthy xeno a dirtnap."
I pressed the button and got instant results: Jimmy autoaimed a double dose of buckshot at the monster. It's head exploded in a spray of orange.
"WOW, COOL GRAPHICS!" I exclaimed.
Suddenly, the cafeteria door was bust open from the inside, a blue "Stomper" walked out into the hall. Bad choice, as Jimmy already reloaded and I was ready to pull the trigger. The stomper's body flew like a golfball out of the window. While Jimmy reloaded, I moved him into the cafeteria. In the cafeteria, three blue grounders where scaring some kids, just like in the GameCube version.
The game went into a cutscene: Jimmy emptied two rounds into two Stompers and began to reload. The last stomper then charged at Jimmy, ready to avenge his fallen comrades.
I panicked, so I pushed random buttons in hope that I can defend myself. I pressed B and Jimmy pulled out a switchblade. I pressed R and he thrusted it into the Stomper's eye.
"I'm tired of this baby gun," Jimmy said, "I need to get some half-assed firepower."
I navigated Jimmy to the Library. Usually there is a bully with a head shaped like a pinto bean. He wasn't there, so I went down the stairs and into the hall. I blasted some more stompers on the way to the doors outside.
As soon Jimmy reached the door, the game went into a cutscene: Jimmy was in his lab preparing his weapons. He loaded his Gold-plated Deagle with a extended clip of hollow-pointed .50 caliber AE rounds. He cocked his fully automatic MAC-10 SMG and rolled a cig with the green stuff he got at school. He lit up the blunt, took a puff, and got ready for action. I moved Jimmy to the lab's exit.
As soon as Jimmy left the clubhouse, a Stomper started walking over to Jimmy. I pressed R and blew a hole in it with Jimmy's Deagle. A group of stompers were attracted by the noise, so I pressed Y. Jimmy put away his Deagle and pulled out his MAC-10. I shot at the stompers, making holes in their orange bodies.
The animated blood caused the game to lag and then crash.
Fuck.
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