K-ON: Azusa's Suicide
This is not a story. This is an actual event that happened last year to me, that has scarred me for life. You've read about all those other "lost episodes" and crap like that, but I'm dead serious with this.
I'm a total anime fan much like everyone else, and the anime that I love the most is K-ON; a show about kawaii high school girls eating cake and "practicing" their songs. My favourite character in the show is Azusa (or Azunyan as Yui calls her), because she's the youngest of the bunch (forgot to mention that I'm a lolicon). I have mountains of posters, body pillows, and erotic doujinshi of her all over my house. All that love was shattered, however, when I found something truly horrifying.
I decided to go to Japan to buy a shit-ton of K-ON related merch, and to visit the school it was based off of, Toyosato Elementary School. When I got to the school, it seemed like nobody was in the entire building, which made me ecstatic as I got to have the entire building all to myself. I explored every room of the building, making sure to masturbate on all the Azusa related things throughout the school.
Right as I was about to leave, I noticed there were stairs down to a basement. It was dark and had cobwebs around it. I decided to go down there to see if there was anything cool I could find down there. All I found though, was a CRT TV, as well as a DVD player, and a DVD that was written on with a sharpie, and it read "けいおん！あなたにファック９" on it, which translated to "K-ON! Episode 9 Draft". I was extremely interested, so I popped in the DVD, pulled down my pants and put my hand on my weenie.
It started as normal, except for the title card which read "私のディックを吸う", which translated roughly to "Azusa's Suicide", which unnerved me a little, but I assumed it was just a joke by the producers. The episode continued normally, until the scene at which Azusa snaps at all the club members, around 4 minutes into the episode. When she finally did snap, the animation and art style changed drastically from a typical anime style, into something that looked extremely realistic, but not like it was filmed. She was yelling out extremely loudly, and screaming malice at the members like "FUCK YOU STOP BEING SO FUCKING LAZY AND FUCKING PRACTICE YOU SHITCUNTS" (translated). Ritsu asked her to calm down, but instead, Azusa pulled out a knife, and began stabbing everyone in the room to death, with the screams sounding actually genuine, like the voice actors were being stabbed to death in real life. Once they were all brutally dismembered by Azusa, she turned towards the screen and stared at ME, not at the camera, and she said to me in English "YOU SHOULD HAVE NEVER COME HERE, YOU HAVE BEEN SEXUALLY ASSAULTING ME FOR YEARS, AND NOW I SHALL TERMINATE YOU"; with the background slowly turned into a hyper-realistic fleshy bloody wall, the camera slowly zooming in on Azusa's face, while she was talking to me.
At this point, I was terrified. All of a sudden, she leapt out of the TV and started stabbing me. My instinct at first was to let her stab me, as I loved her to an extreme extent, and would do anything for her if she existed. But 3.141592 seconds later, I decided to take action and throw her back into the TV, and quickly turn if off. I went to the hospital to treat my injuries, but I still saw Azusa's with her hyper-realistic bloody eyes above me, staring at me.
After I went back home, I decided to throw away all of my anime and K-ON merchandise (yes, even the body pillows), and I burned them all. I have never watched K-ON or any anime since then. I was diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder from the events, but no one seems to believe me when I tell them what happened. So please never, EVER watch a DVD that reads what it read on that one.
Written by Nambona890
Content is available under CC BY-SA
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