Kujimo Super Ultra
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NSFW WARNING
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This is an anime I saw yesterday on the deep web from For-got Studios ( An enterprise connected to fun-damn-nation) It was an anime called "Kujimo! Super Ultra!" Which is a rough translation. It could also mean "Suck my di**!" In Japanese.
There was three episodes, but the project after I read up on some more information apparently ended due to a combination of the main creator needing an exorcism, and his team taking cocaine and having orgies in the bathroom, except when a stockholder was in the building then they acted as close to normal as possible.
So, yeah, I found three episodes, and the next day they were deleted because I deleted them because they're cursed so you can thank me later for not being cursed to receive oral sex from Mark Shuttleburger. He wore a condemn... Yes a 'condemn', but it was lubed with hot chili.
It was midnight I was tripping on things after a long day give me a break. (Mark you're a dumb yiffer) O.K.! On with the story!
Episode one!
"Pilot: The sword if elements"
It's all about A E S T H E T I C S you know?
Groovy looking backgrounds and colorful intros. Background text along a serene stream talking about how a group of ninjas is trying to find an ancient sword that controls the elements of harmony (The Chinese ones) and how a group of five with captain Naj-jako as the leader. I think the names polish... It cuts to a scene or two introducing the characters: two young ladies: hot and one with cat/fox ears, and then two young men: comic relief guy and serial emo dude. (But it's an anime: everyone's going to be a bit emo casue: highschoolers)
Najjako called everyone to a meeting in a zen-looking garden. The fox lady was getting dressed, the other one "Hanoa" was the first to arrive, emo dude "Sasko" second, and Maxipad Mike third.
Najjak reviewed a plan to find the sword underneath a parking lot downtown, and the sword had the power to blah blah blah and this and that, and the water/air clan was watching their every move so mike had to keep watch, fox girl was to do another side task involving spying, and Hanoa and Sasko were to dig deep underneath the lot with a giant drill.
They got there, and they dug, and they didn't find the sword, and the water clan saw them, and asked what they were doing, and there was this flashback of how they were evil and it showed them beating up someone, and how the prophecy said blah blah blah, and ninja fights happened in both scenes cause fox girl was in a ninja fight cause she got caught spying, and got seriously injured and had to go to the hospital but was saved by Najjako.
Then they returned home, discovered fox girl was hospitalized, went to see her, end scene.
T Y P I C A L.
BUT, then things got interesting in episode two...
Episode two!
"????"
(中国語 辞書辞)
I don't know Japanese, and the translation is fuzzy on-line:
"Chinese dictionaries speech"
But whatever. The theme though: was in English this time:
"Don't give up I'm right here,
You do not need to fear
The fantasy is over
But our new life begins...
You can die another day
You can cry a tear of joy
When I say you have been...
In the Chinese dictionary..."
The ending was cringe -I liked the Japanese version.
ANYWAY
Onto the epic episode two -this blew my mind:
The first scene is Mike in bed, dreaming of when he was a boy or something in a nostalgic setting. He was crying because his parent were fighting or something, and then it switched to him reading of some on-line stuff about how chemistry was the answer to life or some bull-shit, and then he was rudely awakened by a loud knocking at the door.
"This is the W.A.P.D we have a warrant for your arrest!"
Najjako: "What is the meaning of this officers?"
Police-woman: "Sir we have evidence of kidnapping charges, arson, and drug trafficking we're going to need you to come with us."
Najjako: "Everyone awake! The water clan has broken in!"
Sasko was the first to enter with his ninja stars that had little laser lights on the end of them.
Policeman: "Hey kid, we don't want any trouble, we mean you no harm, we know you're afraid, it's o.k. everything is going to be alright."
Sasko: "You can't fool me! You traitors have forbidden the prophecy! Come here and fight!"
The police man quickly tased him as sasko ran stupidly to attack the officer.
then the other three ran into the room and did all kinds of 'cray stuff: Like Hanoa doing backflips and shit, and Fox girl taking off her ears and using them as some sort of boomerang, and mike making a long...long... speech about how all his life he'd been searching for blah blah blah, and they all surprisingly...got tased, and were thrown into a van. I personally thought they were going to save themselves by now, but then I thought "Maybe they'll escape from the policeman-impersonators grasp and be free from water-clan once again, but maybe Najjako will die and they'll need to find a new leader and get more people for the cause and BOOM we have our series!"
but I was mistaken.
As the later half of the episode went on they did cut scenes of each character getting interrogated one by one.
Sasko was 23 and explained he was interested in Najjakos mission after he met him at a corporate coffee house, and needed money and board so agreed to stay at "The dojo" which was actually a shady-looking place in ghetto japan.
Mike was 19 and explained he had heard about the sword prophecy a few years ago on-line, and searched for others who knew of it on various forums, and found Najjako through an anonymous post.
Hanoa was 18, a senior in high school, had told her parents she found a part time job as a delivery driver to keep things under wraps, and said she felt Najjakos aura and intent in life...(Psh...)
and Fox Girl (Yuma) had ran away from home a few months ago. She had found Najjako kind and he took her in, but threatened if she came back: that the water clan (who turned out to be the police) would catch her and put her in their "Chamber of traitors." which she was shown through various videos and documentaries concerning police brutality.
The police explained to each of them the reality of the situation: Najjako was getting to be a small-time turned big crime boss, and had been using the kids to fight the police, spy on other drug lords, and provide security by brainwashing them to believe they needed to do all this to find the sacred sword: which was an old Chinese legend said to control the elements. After he was good and done with them he'd of given them each a flea-market bought sword with gems on it and some kanji written on the side.
Each of them had a different reaction to this. Fox-girl being still young was still a little in the belief the police were lying, even after the evidence on Najjakos various crime instances were shown, and then she met with her parents -angry and happy simultaneously.
Najjakos interview was short-shown him flipping over chairs and shouting death threats at the police.
Episode three
"Life without a sword"
This was the last episode: maybe it wasn't even a series, maybe it was a movie, but this had some closure.
Sasko, after getting off his part time job as an ace attorney, met up with everyone else, burned the garden/dojo to the ground using b4 explosives, then the guys pissing on the ashes. Then fox-girl told Mike she wanted to go out or something. and then Sasko was like "how about a double-date?" and hanoa said "Eh fu** umm... Yeah sure lets do it I just need to check my schedule."
and they all went out. and fox-girl revealed her tail was fake...but it turned out to be real and she just showed them a fake tail. Then she prayed and her tail burnt into ashes in a back alley-way.
Fu** you Baltimore!
-FIN AND JAKE!
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