Metallica.exe

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It's just a joke, bro!!

The following page may contain outlandish humor regarding certain public figures/companies. The content of this website is purely fictional and satirical; what is presented in this story is false. Thus this should not be taken seriously whatsoever.

My friend JohnMetallicaFan117 wrote this after he died and sent it to me to warn me



TW: Metallica

Here is the story now

I love heavy metal, so obviously I'm a huge fan of Metallica. They are a very cool band. One day I was listening to Metallica and right before James Hetfield who is the lead singer of metallica said "OOOO YEAH YEAH" I heard a knock at my door. I went to the door and opened it. I opened the door and I saw that there were two pieces of paper with the word "METALLICA" written on them in Sharpie Brand Fine Point Permanent Marker. I went to tell Dave who is my best friend that we got Metallica tickets, but then I realized I would look fucking stupid because it's just a piece of paper with the word Metallica on it. I looked on Google for Metallica tickets and they were too expensive so I decided to try the ones I got.

Dave said "Holy s***t we are going to see the Metallica at a concert, let me grab my long hair from the upstairs kitchen." I put on my Metallica shirt and we went to the place where the Metallica show was. I showed the ticket guy my ticket, and he said "Hey, buddy nice ticket the concert is in there." he pointed to the door where the concert was, and it looked like there was hyperrealistic blood coming out of the door to where the concert was. I didn't think anything of it because it is heavy metal and there is blood sometimes. We went into the concert and went to our seat which was in the mosh pit.

Motorhead walked on stage, which is weird because Lemmy Motorhead is die. And I said "what the heck Lemmy, you are dead." and Lemmy said "No, you are dead." Which I thought was weird because Lemmy can't normally hear you from the stage, but I said whatever and Motorhead played Ace of Spades, but I noticed something was weird when Lemmy sang Ace of Spades because Phil Taylor and Fast Eddie were also there and they are also both dead because they both died years ago.  When lemmy said "The ace of spades" instead he said "the ace of die" and his eyes turned a hyperrealistic black and hyperrealistic blood started coming out of them and then so did Phil and Eddie.

Motorhead was almost done playing and Lemmy pointed at me and said "No fake tickets dumbass" and then hyperrealistic blood came out of him mouth and Motor head died and crumpled into dust and floated away. I was really scared now, because the ticket guy said it was ok, but clearly it wasn't I turned around and Dave was Dave Mustaine from Megadeth and Dave said "I got fired AAAAAAAAAAAAAA" and then he started bleeding everywhere and his eyes were also hyperrealsitc black and also hyperrealistic red.

Then Metallica came out, and it was even more weird because Jame had long hair and Lars wasn't balding. They started playing Enter Sand man, and when jam het said "Exit light" instead he looked right at me and his eyes were red and he said "Exit venue" and instead of enter night he said "fake ticket." I knew this part of the song, James was going to say "OOOOOOOO YEAH YEAH" but I was cought off guard when the stage was covered in blood, just like the hyperrealistic blood I saw in the door except there was more of it. Jame says "OOOOO NO NO" and then, scariest of all, Lard starts playing drums... ON TIME.

Then Dave clutched my shoulder except now he was a skeleton and he said "What no warning? No second chance?" Like what Dave Mustaine said when he got fired from Metallica. Which was kinda funny to me because my friend's name was Dave and he got turned into Dave Mustaine but it was also scary. Then Kurt Hamlet played a wah wah pedal solo but it sounded like babies crying. And then james said "MASTER OF PUPPETS I'M PULLING YOUR STRINGS." and then Kurtis's guitar strings became puppet strings and they held me down while Jame, Kurt Russell and Lard started killing me and eating my organs, Cliff Burton was also there. Cliff Burton is dead too, which is why it's scary. Cliff looked at me and said "Don't use fake tickets or we'll kill you again" and even though I was dead, I said "Ok." Then I woke up and I was listening to Metallica again. But the scariest part of the story is I knew I was still dead

The End.

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