Miyamoto's revenge: a lover's tragedy
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This is about that one time something really scary happened to me. This story is completely true, which makes it even scarier, because now it could happen to you as well. One day, I invited some of my friends over for a sleepover because my parents were out of town and the house was free. We all sat down and drank lots of beer and watched the football game, but also watched the news for some reason during which I saw some story about a kitten who was trapped in a tree, about the local mayor getting re-elected, and some Halloween killer's impending release back into my neighbourhood who loved wearing masks and was being released from prison due to a piss poor American justice system. I didn't really notice any of this though, because my friends and I were having such a good time being alive and being friends, that it didn't crop up again when we were playing Monopoly.
That night, after getting wasted on beer, I slept in my parents' room, and Tim slept in my room, and Joe slept in the guest bedroom, all on the upper floor, away from the lower floor, upstairs, after having a crazy night playing Nintendo WiiU, 'WiiSports' downstairs. I remembered though that in the heat of that workout session that I had left the window in the basement open, where the WiiU was, so as I went down, Tim also came out by a really big chance, and said 'Don't worry, I'll close that window alone.' As I lay in my bed looking out into the hallway, I was unable to sleep for a long time because the cheesy Doritos were really heavy, and made my stomach feel big, but then I realised that it had been almost an hour since Tim had gone downstairs. I went downstairs into the basement, and was really scared to find that in the basement, he was dead because someone had stuck a sword into his head. I walked over but slowly, because the doritos were still giving me stomachpains, and realised the sword looked exactly like the mastersword and that this reminded me alot of that time when Link kills Ganondorf at the end of Windwaker by planting a sword in his head but there was alot more blood here, because this was real life. Suddenly, the shadows stirred with the life of an angry bee, and a man came out from the shadows, with blooding dripping from his green tunic, and with a bloodsoaked mask of Shigeru Miyamoto, who is the inventor of Zelda and Mario. 'It's a me, Miyamoto!' the man screamed, and I ran upstairs, with him chasing me with a hammer and a crossbow. I quickly turned into Joe's room and locked the door. I turned on the lights and looked at the bed, and saw Joe was also dead, having been strangled by a Gamecube controller cord in his sleep, so it frightened me alot because now i was the only left with someone who would stop at nothing to kill people. Suddenly the door burst open, and the man with the Miyamoto mask came into the room, and I was cornered. 'You a should have a bought a 3DS too!' he howled, in his fierce fake Italian accent. He aimed the bow at me and fired, but then suddenly I woke up on the living room table, with Monopoly pieces stuck to my face. Joe shook me and told me I had passed out from excitement after buying all the blue properties and drinking too much beer. I didn't tell him about my dream or Tim, because I feared they would laugh at the sheer horror of what I had faced, but when i went downstairs, I saw written in blood on my WiiU 'I was here'.
Some time later, I saw on the news that the mask killer had already moved to Australia the night I had had that really scary dream, but that MIyamoto was in town promoting the Super Smash Bros game for WiiU which made me wonder what had actually happened. After that, I bought a 3DS and really liked it, but whenever I play my WiiU, I always keep my loaded gun in plain sight of my 4 year old sister whenever we play Super Mario to protect her from anyone else. So my advice is don't drink beer and play monopoly, because it can cause alot of accidents and injuries to happen, so be safe, and play monopoly sober.
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