Mr. Damn's Personal Journal

JANUARY 16TH, 1970

Hello, I am a man called Mr. Damnit. But enough about me, I have been researching a killer called "EVIL PATRIXXX" And I have found plenty of evidence regarding this mysterious man of myth. I started researching him when I became an intern at (the police station, not nick) and I was rummaging through some old case files. I stumbled across "CASE 123: PATRIXXX MYSTERY" It said a local boy was found lying died with his eyeballs popped out and entrails laying beside him, he was no more than five years old, It then showed the gruesome pictures. It then said a local citizen saw the murder, and could vaguely recall the killer. He had a pinkish cone head similar to Patrick from SpongeBob, Totally made me evaluate my whole childhood. Local authorities started calling him "EVIL PATRIXXX" and then the other policemen started to. I'm still searching for more evidence, but this is Mr. Damnit, signing off.

FEBUARY 2TH, 1970

It's been a month since I found case 123 and I've decided to get back into researching about EVIL PATRIXXX. I started questioning the citizens, one one had something to say "I can't believe my boy was killed, it was gruesome and harmful to my feelings, I could only recall him as he had green pants and a pink cone-ish head, referring as "EVIL PATRIXXX" I have no idea why the policemen & locals call the murderer that." I also questioned local citizen "Mr. Skeleton" he wasn't popping out so I figured I could talk to him, he said "Well EVIL PATRIXXX? I've had some bad history with him, he used to be a good friend until he turned to alcohol and meth along with crack cocaine and acid. That's when he went COMPLETELY CRAZY, the bar he always went to was "The Drunk Asshole" I think you could find some people there to question, I can't explain any further, I might be next." I went to "The Drunk Asshole" and questioned Furbearingbrick, what she had to say was "We can't really explain about EVIL PATRIXXX, It's classified top secret trollpasta information, best kept locked. I couldn't talk to Fatal Disease and LOLSKELETONS because they were too drunk to answer any questions, believe me I've tried. Mr. Damnit, signing off.

FEBUARY 10TH, 1970

I'm back into the mystery again and OH BOY! I finally got EVIL PATRIXXX in my possession! I questioned him, he had to replay "WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH ME???!?" I said "Just calm down! This is just a questioning session!" He then ripped the steel holder's apart and pinned me and planned to stab me when Furbearingbrick busted in with a tranquilizer gun and shot EVIL PATRIXXX. She said "I think it's time this bitch stayed LOCKED. Me and brick took EVIL PATRIXXX to federal trollpasta prison, where today he is now forced to be the mascot for the Trollpasta Wiki. It turns out he had a brother, and it was just PATRIXXX. PATRIXXX was unspeakable but stayed calm, brick said to PATRIXXX "It's gonna be alright, besides he was a psycho anyway" Good thing this is stopped, but I have more cases to solve! Mr. Damnit signing off.

MAY 10TH, 1971

Well shit, life has caught on to me. M y wife has died of lung cancer, I TOLD HER NOT TO SMOKE! My boss told me I had another case to solve. And I had to find out who this "Jeff The Killer" was. So I went on to try and find him. I know this is a short entry but I will update this journal and see what I can find. Mr. Damnit, signing off.

MAY 20TH, 1971

Decided to get back on the case about Ol' Jeffy. People say he has murdered a lot of people in his lifetime but is still in the line, I talked to the (alive) folks at Jeff's town. Only one could say something as all of them were really paranoid of him. He said "Well, he went into my neighbor's house, it's just. I can't stand it. He is a horrible man-child thing. He should not exist." Then he curled up into a ball and refused to talk again. I went to Jeffy's house but he wasn't there, but he lived there alone. Didn't he kill his family too? I'm not sure. Anyway I went back home and let it give another 5 days. Mr. Damnit, signing off.

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