Nightmare on Sesame Street

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I am looking for a particular lost movie. You see, I worked for my local PBS station, WVIA, and I fucking hated it. I only did the job for my $750,000 salary. PBS wanted people to clear out their catalog as a prank so people would think they're the new BBC. As BBC used to wipe all their tapes.

I found the specific movie, "Nightmare on Sesame Street", and asked if I could go and watch it. They agreed, as they regret the film, so I stayed in the VHS storage room watching it on the VCR.

I just want to point out, it was a very wrong movie. Its budget apparently was $300 million, but it looks like it was made on a $300 fucking budget. The theme song was the exact opposite; instead of being positive it was negative (like it replaced sunny day with shitty day).

Another thing is every character was played by themselves?! Except for Grover, who is played by Troy Bobber, who did everything behind the scenes and has no other film credits, and Bert and Ernie who play the other character.

Anyways, the film starts with Gordon introducing himself saying, "welcome to Sesame Street, it's Halloween everyone will be Trick or Treating soon". Baby Bear said, "YAY!!! I love Trick or Treating, I get free candy in a goddamn costume," I thought, "AGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! Looks like Baby Bear is going to be the main character".

For added context, I fucking hate Baby Bear. It's almost as if Sesame Workshop added this little prick because they fucking hate us. His character feels worse than if someone murdered everyone you know and love, then the police say, "you know what, we'll let him get away with this shit, because fuck you that's why".

Anyways, Baby Bear goes Trick or Treating, but oh no. Something scary and paranormal happens, we'll get to it later, I'll explain how it happened. So, there's this guy in the movie called Godlys who's definitely NOT played by me. It's a different Godlys.

Godlys was a comedian and actor who suddenly fell off harder than EDP and Simba's dad from The Lion King combined. It's because he was involved in this movie, forced to be in it. And it was so bad it wrongfully ruined his career.

Anyways, Godlys says, "ah yes, my 'turn everything it touches into a hill thingamajig' is almost done, just got to test it out". He tested it, and it worked. But he slipped on a rock because he decided to test it on his house like a dumbass. So, he fell off the cliff like a dumbass, of course. Before falling, he said "oh shit!" His fall looked real and clearly had an effect on him in the movie.

Godlys screamed, "AHHHHHH!!!! OW!!! FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!! FUCKING COCK!!! COCKING COCK!!! COCKING SUCK!!! COCKING FUCK!!! FOR FUCKS SAKE! DAMN COCK SUCKING DICK FUCKING STUPID ASS MOTHERFUCKERING SHITTY HILL!!!! FUCK!!!". Finally, the branches saved him. He said, "thank God, hold me for a while midget branches, I'm just going to lie here until the pain goes away".

The branches didn't support him for long and he fell again. Godlys screamed, "AHHHH!!!! OWIE ZOWIE!!! NOT THIS SHIT AGAIN!!!! GOD DAMN IT, NOT THIS SHIT AGAIN, IT'S FUCKING HELL!!! FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!! I WANT MY FUCKING MOMMY OR SOME SHIT OF SORTS!!!! IT HIT MY BALLS!!! WAHHHHHHH!!!!! FUCKING COCK!!!! SUCKING COCK!!!! COCKING FUCK!!!! COCKS!!!!".

He finally ended the long, rather painful, fall. "What in the hell was that all about," Godlys asked, "at least it's all over," he continued. But he accidentally clicked the "spawn 3 threatening ghosts" button twice. He screamed again, "AHHHHHHH!!!! THE FUCK?! THE FUCK?! WHAT THE FUCK?! WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?! WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT SHIT ABOUT?! Ok, I get it, this is hell and resentment for all the naughty no no shit I did. For the living of Jesus Fucking Christ, I'LL CONFESS!!!!," he screamed.

"I was the one who green-lighted Velma! I was the one who claimed Teen Titans Go was your new favorite show! I was Jack the Ripper! I was the one who eliminated half the universe with a snap! I created Roblox porn! I told Kanye West to be antisemitic! And finally, I was the one who encouraged John "should be behind bars" Kricfalusi to live with minors. Just end my motherfucking misery!" he continued.

Gordon chimed into the scene and said, "oh my lord, Godlys, are you ok". Godlys said, "dumbass, I'm not ok, clearly none of this is fucking ok, if I said it was, I'd be a shitty ass liar," Gordon went and picked Godlys up and I thought at this point the movie was good, especially from Godlys. So why did this ruin his career? "Eh, I couldn't give two shits about the ghosts, it's not a big deal, but should I tell him," thought Godlys.

Baby Bear saw the 6 meanie ghosts and screamed, "AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!". Honestly, I can't blame him. It's hard for me to get scared and the jumpscare of the ghosts made me, a grown up, shit and piss my pants. He ran and said, "Gordy, Gordy, Gordy, there's ghosts on 123 Sesame Street,".

Gordon comforted him and said, "ah, Baby Bear, don't worry, it's likely just your imagination, if it's real, I'll contact the rest of The Sesameits," until he saw the scary ghosts! He tried to remain calm, but still blurted out a "fuck" and "shit". I laughed at hearing the forbidden f and s words.

Meanwhile, Jafar was traveling to KingSombraLand to finally murder Aladdin and he met King Sombra who was planning on doing the same thing, they quickly became the bestest of friends and made absolutely horrendous "jokes" while trying to kill Aladdin. But they had a falling because of Jafar's plan to turn the world into a giant chocolate chip cookie, I'm not even fucking joking.

"Bro, you're not joking, making the world into a cookie is the most braindead piece of shit I ever heard," Sombra pointed out, "fuck no, making the fucking world into a shitty cookie is the smartest fucking thing ever! Go fuck yourself," Jafar screamed.

Wow, what an amazing dialogue! Surely, Troy Bobber must've asked Pixar to write that one. Actually, he did! And they purposely made bad dialogue and John Lasseter sent them a note that said, "go fuck yourself," with a picture of him mooning and flipping him off while holding a giant piece of shit! Troy was too lazy, so he kept it.

Anyways, Gordon got ALMOST everyone. Except for Caillou and Elmo. "Say, where's Caillou and Elmo," Gordon asked, "they were supposed to come 30 minutes ago". "AGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!" I thought, "looks like Caillou's being part of the movie". I shouldn't even have to add extra context on why I hate this bald bitch. If you Google "Caillou hate", there's about 1 and a quarter million results!

Then, it shows Caillou, with a blender, and Elmo. "Ok, Elmo, you've been acting 3 since the 1980s," Caillou stated, "so I created a game that'll make you act your age: 'Elmo sticks his alarmingly humongous penis in a blender and has sex with it while It's on'". "Ooh, Elmo thinks this game will be funner than the one where Elmo closed his eyes and Caillou gave Elmo a 'big surprise'," Elmo stated. Elmo played the game, his penis fell off, it died, and the penis became a sentient ghost!

"TROLOLLOLOLZLOLZLOL!!!!!" Caillou laughed, "I lied, I did it to make your pp fall off". "HEY, MR. GUYWITHMANTITS," Elmo screamed, "ELMO DOES NOT WANT TO LISTEN TO A GUY WITH A PENIS THAT'S 1/14 OF A MILLIMIMETER WITH 1 TESTICLE THAT CAN ONLY BE SEEN WITH A MICROSCOPE"!!!!!!!!

I gasped and blood tears flew down my eyes, while I was shaking. It might've been funny, but I still threw up enough to feed the entire U.S. population for 10 years. As Elmo was my childhood, he might be an annoying bastard, but him not being an innocent child ruined my childhood. "God damn, that wasn't intentional, but it still made Elmo act his age," Caillou thought. Elmo's mom came, shocking Caillou. I thought he was legit fucked, and dead shit on a stick, but I was wrong. Elmo's mom said, "I would've told your parents, Caillou, but Gordon sent you and Elmo on a 'mission', besides, Elmo does need to mature". That made me really pissed!

It showed Godlys again. Remember when I said his fall affected him for the rest of the movie? This scene especially showed it, he walked as if he was the drunkest and highest man in history with his henchmen looking for more minions. "Ehh, excuse me miss, would you like to be brainwashed," Godlys said, she said, "hell no, you're walking like a fucking pervert, stop or I'll kick you in the nuts". Godlys replied, "ehhh, I'm not being a pervert, I'm just trying to get some minions," she, of course, kicked him painfully in the nuts. "Ehhh, it's better than nothing," Godlys stated.

Wow, what amazing writing! Surely, Troy Bobber sent this to Illumination to write it. Actually, he did! Except Illumination bought the rights to make it into a horrible franchise. Expect to see "Minions 3: The War with The Sesameits" coming soon to a theater near you on 4/20/69.

"We should file a missing report, Gordon," Arthur said, "fuck no," said Peppa Pig. "I don't want those annoying bitches here," she continued. "Oh, shit they're gone, but at least the only annoying ones I'll deal with are Baby Bear and Abby," Gordon said, not realizing Elmo and Caillou arrived, like a dumbass. "SHIT DICK ASS MONSTER! SO FUCKING CLOSE! THEY ALSO HEARD ME BITCHING LIKE A FUCKING HYPOCRITE!!!!" Gordon yelled, finally losing it after over 54 years of holding his anger. He threw a vase making his cat get scared and run.

"I can't fucking take this shit anymore, give me something or I'll cause a great big massacre," Cookie Monster screams. Gordon gives him a pipe filled with meth. Cookie Monster dances happily while smoking it.

Then, it showed Jafar and King Sombra, now friends again? But soon they have another falling. "Turning the Earth into a giant chocolate chip cookie is such a funny trolling move, I can't wait to do my mischievous tomfoolery," King Sombra said. "Uh, no it's my idea, therefore it's my mischievous tomfoolery, quit saying everything good is because of you," Jafar pointed out. Officially, they're enemies again!

"Wait, the world into a giant cookie," Cookie Monster said, and had a heart attack of joy. Suddenly, CNN turns on. "Welcome to CNN, I'm 'Reporter Kermit the Froggo' and today, I'm back in 123 Sesame Street to announce Cookie Monster died," Kermie said. "I'm here with fellow citizen Godlys and the Dr. The Count at Cookie Monster's deathbed :(," he continued. "Well, how did he croak, Godlys," Kermit asked. "It's because he's been fucking eating nothing but cookies since 1969 and smoked an assload of meth retard," Godlys pointed out.

"Dr. Count, you clearly did a horrible job, why didn't you even try," Kermit asked. "I tried everything, I gave him one vaccine, ahahah, two vaccines, ahahah, three vaccines, ahahaah...," Count said. "Alright; we get it, I forgot how much I fucking hated you, shut the fuck up," Kermit raged in the most respectful way possible. "Well folks, I got to go before Disney thinks I got kidnapped, nobody fucks with the Muppets," Kermit said as a farewell.

I saw Elmo's sentient penis ghost slowly flying in a random person's brain. He went to the 6 other ghosts and said, "hello, can I join you guys in some of the usual buffoonery," the sentient dick ghost asked. "Sure, 7 'head' ghosts are bigger and better than 6, just don't cum here, tehehehehe," one of the other 6 ghosts answered.

"Well, we lost Cookie Monster," Rosita stated the fucking obvious. "So, we'll have two guest stars here, an extra in case someone else dies, they are: Kim Kardashian and Shrek". I'm just going to skip Shrek for the most part, as he was Troy Bobber's way to add homophobia and filler. His character was all about him being bishrekual and making fun of bisexuals. When he gets exposed by Grover for his actions, he says, "hey hey hey, I don't want to do it, I have to as I'm bishrekual," like an infertile dickhead. Anyways, Kim K. was saying hello to everyone kindly before unintentionally seeing Elmo's dickless crotch. She said, "lol, hey Mr. Dickless, at least you can see Caillou's without a microscope". She's a meanie as she makes many jokes about Elmo's PP-less self,

As the epic journey to find the ghosts started, it became apparent that Elmo became a marijuana addict. It becomes factual when Elmo screams, "GIVE ELMO DA MOTHAFUCKING MAIJUANA!!!!!!!" Goldie simply replies, "I'm not giving in to your addiction, it even made you lose your grammar," but Elmo screams, "ITS SIMPLE ENGLISH MOTHAFUCKA, DO U FUCKING SPEAK IT, ELMO FUCKING NEEDS IT!!!!!!!!!!!". Goldie, as a result, says, "you treat those drugs like it's your religion, the logic on that is the Kardashian's logic in existing".

Elmo eventually got tired of all his no-pp jokes. So, after smoking his secret piece of marijuana, he said, "Elmo has to take a long, hard shit, bye bye". But what The Sesameits didn't know is that he smoked much more marijuana and went on a killing spree. But, guess, who did he especially kill? If you guessed the blacks and gays, you're not just wrong, but you're also extremely racist and homophobic! He especially killed people having sex.

An example is he killed Dr. Trayaurus while he was having anal at work. "TRAYAURUS, I TOLD YOU TO HAVE NO ANAL IN VIDEOS," DanTDM screamed, "YOU FILTHY CUNT, YOU DISGUSTING TWAT, THE FUCK," he continued. I absolutely love how Brits think cunt and twat are the worst words ever, twat is nothing outside of the U.K. and cunt is a slur against women, making them sexiest!

Elmo ran in to Trayaurus having anal while Elmo smoked more marijuana. "Elmo fucking hates you, Elmo wants you to die, bye bye," Elmo said. What he didn't know was Trayaurus had a massive catalogue of weaponry, but Elmo still won the very short battle.

Soon, Elmo finally returned. "Where the fuck were you at, we're almost at the climax," said Abby, "Elmo was taking a shit, it was constipation," Elmo claimed. "Now, we must kill The Sesameits for the actions they did," said Godlys, "no, they can't kill us," exclaimed Peppa, "we must do something," stated Arthur.

They got the boombox and started playing the soundtrack of The Sesameits National Anthem. "We are The Sesameits, we fight for loyalty in the world," they sang. "Oh god, we're going to die," exclaimed one of henchmen, "no we won't, as long as we do our chant," said Godlys. "Heil Godlys, kill all The Sesameits, for the things they did," Godlys and his henchmen chanted, while The Sesameits continued their anthem.

"We're clearly massively outnumbered, so bombs launch out of my man-vagina," exclaimed Caillou. The bombs killed all the henchmen in the battle. "No," said Godlys, "I can't lose, I got to walk up to them and kill them," he continued. So he went, still walking as drunk and high, and The Sesameits tripped him with a fucking string! "Oh, losing doesn't seem fun, I think I just wet myself, it feels rather nice," Godlys said before he died, proving this is a fetish and pedo movie.

So, the ghosts come out of Godlys making the reveal that it's Elmo's sentient cock, Jim Henson, Frank Oz, Mr. Rogers, Mr. Hooper, Firebunneh, and Uncle Jack. Most of them scolded The Sesameits for their actions throughout the film. Firebunneh said that he did this because they killed him right before Sesame Street's premiere. But Elmo's wiener was very pissed. "You guys cut me off my owner, I'm going to war with you and kill Caillou," screamed Elmo's cock. "Elmo, do something, if you side with us, he will," everyone said, "fuck no, I side with my manhood, you jackasses deserve this shit," Elmo said after smoking more marijuana.

So there became the battle, Elmo and his sentient ghost penis vs everyone else. Eventually Big Bird finally got a line by saying, "angels are singing, oh my lord, it's Chuck Norris, he's back from heaven he's the best thing ever, oh shit he just kicked Elmo in the balls, which it's weird he has balls but no cock". Then Bleff the Biller, Sonic the Hedgehog, Mario, Batman, Slenderman, Jeff the Killer, Max Headroom, The Rake, Smile-Dog, Siren Head, Indiana Jones, Godzilla, Mickey Mouse, Superman, The TMNT, Ren Hoëk, Dora, Bob the Builder, SpongeBob and every single U.S. president ever came into the fight. Flint Lockwood randomly came into the scene and cut everyone's wiener.

Joker got all pissed that he was left with no manhood. So he decided to blow up the world. Shaq went to save the world and beat up the button.

However, Jackie Chan and Daniel Craig secretly had no penises the whole time, so they both went to the scene trying to murder Shaq, who was saved by Kevin Heart.

If you wanna know exactly why all those characters came to the scene, most of them came to beat Chuck Norris' cowboy ass. Unfortunately, Chuck flew back to the heavens and became God's new son. Don't ask me how.

"Caillou, I've really became one with God, I know you wanna talk to me, but I'm going to the heavens with God, my new dad," he said. "What, that's just a bunch of random shit," Caillou stated like a maniac jackass. "Come with me, my new favorite son," God said and put Jesus Christ out of his favorite son purse, "finally," thought Jesus, "I'm not a fucking chihuahua."

Chuck Norris still fought in the battle, blowing things up that he didn't like, abusing his power in the process. He didn't like how all those characters (except Godzilla and Batman) wanted to kill him and shit, so he blew them the fuck up! He didn't like that EVIL PATRIXXX never dies, so he blew him up. Fortunately, EVIL PATRIXXX survived.

Megatron and Optimus Prime went on a fight to see who gets to marry Bumblebee. Optimus Prime thought two steps ahead, and grabbed Dr. Trayaurus' machine for anal that looked like a giant, fat cock. Megatron took it off him and sliced Optimus Prime's head off. Chuck Norris didn't want Megatron to win, so he blew him up. Chuck didn't like how Optimus' head looked like, (no penis head innuendoes intended) so he blew it up.

The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ate all the pizza in the world, leaving Norris without a slice. So Chuck blew them up! He also blew Spider-Man up for being too slow. You don't just randomly kill Spider-Man and shit, Chuck!

Bert, Ernie, and Grover talked about how they pissed their pants and had a kidney failure. Chuck blew them up! Chuck Norris sided with Elmo and his penis ghost, so he blew the rest of The Sesameits up! "Hey, you can't just blow people you don't like up, that's unprofessional," Bumblebee screamed. So Chuck blew her up as well.

Chuck randomly blew Shrek and Kim Kardashian up. Elmo smoked more marijuana, which pissed Chuck off, so he blew him up! Snuffy got all scared and drank a whole glass of cum, so Chuck blew him up too! Unfortunately, this was too much explosions for heaven to handle, and it fucking exploded, I saw blood! It shows Norris in hell with The Count (dressed up as the devil) saying, "well, it's going to be a hell of a time counting how many explosions you did."

Cookie Monster came back looking like a fucking ghost of a puddle, and he was all stuttery and shit. "I need a reward for being in this condition, I'd rather kiss and fuck a fucked up rat's ass with shit all over it," Cookie Monster bitched. While Elmo screamed, "go to hell fatass,", Gordon didn't respond again and gave him another meth pipe. Rather than dance happily, he laid all depressed and shit. The pipe in his mouth even danced depressingly.

Suddenly, Elmo threw a shitton of knives. The only thing that stopped him was when Big Bird, or as I want to call him, Bitch Bird, used his size to push Elmo into a building and breaking it. Kermit saw the scene and said, "ooh, I don't like this shit one bit, nah, fuck this shit, I'm falling off," before falling 18 stories to his death.

Godzilla took a bite out of Goku harder than the Smurfs did it when Smurfette moved to their village. But Abraham Lincoln tried to stop him by grabbing Optimus Prime's body to kill Joseph Stallion. But Adolf Hitler threw Godlys to stop Abe. "Yay I'm alive again, FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKK, ow," Godlys said before dying.

Soon, Godlys needed some cheering and climbed up an electric fence for it. "I know, I'll go to Cheer Bear, he'll cheer me up :)," Godlys stated. But Cheer Bear, and Barney the Dinosaur, mauled Godlys to fucking death. Godzilla went and destroyed Optimus Prime but felt something hurt like hell. It was Indiana Jones, who whipped Godzilla's motherfucking cock!

Godzilla went and thrown a boomerang, which hit Godlys and fucking sliced his head off. Chuck Norris came back to the scene and kicked Godzilla in his balls. Which caused so much pain, that Norris killed him. Godlys came back alive, but Chuck knew how to kill him forever. Chuck crushed Godlys' cock into his ass!

Honestly, the entire fight scene made me question what the fuck kind of shit I was writing, I mean reading. But, Jeff the Killer's knockoff, Bleff the Biller came to fight Jeff and get all the attention.

"Ready to die, Jeff, LOL," Bleff the Biller said, as if he was a troll. "Fuck no, I would rather become a father to a night one stand from a girl's ugly pussy," Jeff the Killer said, epically roasting Bleff.

Mario and Sonic were actually honestly just having a kitty fight. It seems fucking stupid, but who cares it's supposed to be a silly and stupid movie. Honestly, I find Mario and Sonic silly gooses, as a war was happening, yet they had a kitty fight while the citizens watched in shock, they're big fat pussies.

The 200 million monthly active Roblox players joined the fight, but Pikachu kills them and shit with his fucking thunderbolt. Ash Ketchum finally gets Pikachu in his pokeball and fucking eats it. Santa Claus' Fortnite avatar tried to crash ChatGPT's servers forever, but Steve from Minecraft kills him.

Godzilla used his tail to protect himself from King Kong, which caused him and Batman (in his indestructible Batmobile) to fling on a skyscraper. King Kong died, but Batman hit Godzilla with his bat grenade. Godzilla got super pissed, and crushed him against the wall. The pressure fucking killed both Batman and Godzilla.

Donald Trump of all people saw that Velma and Shaggy from the Scooby Doo franchise became black or some shit all of a fucking sudden. "What the fuck, looks like I'm back with my duties from when I was president," he raged, and he wanted to deport the voice actors for being part of such a bad show.

Donald Trump went and grabbed both of them to deport them like the shitty racist pig he is. But Shaggy is a fucking badass god, so he beat Trump up. Bill Crosby went to say one statement. "I could say go fuck yourself, but I'm feeling fancy, go fornicate yourself, Shaggy," Cosby said. Caitlyn Jenner ran over them and said, "oops second time since 2015, I did it again, gotta go under the knife to get away with my actions in court again!"

The battle was epic and legendary, with good guys, bad guys, and explosions, but there had to only be one winner. The winner was EVIL PATRIXXX, (hyperrealistic and with blood all over him) who threw a frozen condom filled with Diet Coke and Mentos gum at the ghost penis, and he beat Mario and Sonic up to death with a dirty diaper. Declaring victory, he said, "it's the end of penisization as we know it"! And as the legend goes, whenever he wins, he stabs himself to himself to death for him to be cloned, which happened.

Let's share a moment of silent sadness to all the lives lost the battle. I honestly wish Optimus Prime was the one who killed Megatron and not the other way around. Imagine how amazing that would be. Anyway I wanna know why Jafar and King Sombra didn't fight each other in the battle. Oops, did I just talk over the entire moment of silent sadness? Ha, I'm so quirky!

Eventually, there was a final scene where Pete from Mickey Mouse loses his balloon, and repeatedly bullies Mickey and the gang from getting angry and pissed about it. Mickey, Donald, Goofy, Minnie, Daisy, Toodles, and the other characters I don't remember the names of tried to find the balloon but failed. Toodles, the sentient computer tried giving Pete a ladder and a dildo as an attempt to cheer him up, but failed.

They talk to Dex Dogtective about what they should do to make him happy again. "Dex Dogtective, what the fuck is Dex Dogtective of all shitty things doing here," I thought, "what is this, a crossover episode?" Dex Dogtective gave them a surprise tool that'll help them later, which turns out to be a transgender surgery scalpel.

Mickey gave up on the balloon search and explained to Pete that he's only upset because he's uncomfortable with his body. Then Pete claimed to actually be a fucking beautiful lizard woman stuck in the body of a fat cat and that's why he's pissed off all the time. And he went under the knife and shit, I don't know. It was fucking weird as shit! I don't understand why Pete would want to be a woman - or a lizard for that matter, honestly, I didn't know he was a cat until someone told me. But who am I to judge a cartoon character? It's not like I'm transphobic, I just think it's fucking confusing when people claim to identify as shitty things like guns or toilets.

Anyways, after the credits, which were basically a memorial for everyone who was involved in a shitty movie, played there was a post credit scene. Jafar and King Sombra, who are friends again, finally did their plan. But a giant ghost of Cookie Monster came and said, "wow, a giant cookie just for me," and ate up, "yay, yummy cookie," he said. Which caused Jafar and King Sombra to have another falling. Jafar got so pissed, he killed Godlys.

"You're next, Squidward Tentacles," Jafar said. "What, how did he know my name, a lost episode creepypasta cliche," Squiddy stated. "Oh my fucking god, he fucking killed Godlys again," Stan Marsh screamed. "You fucking bastard," Kyle Brofloski responded as he beat King Sombra up off screen. And Eric Cartman says, "that's all folks"!

(Continues typing:) Something about this film after made me jump off the building and run home, it's just that it felt like I was abused and tortured, rather than watching a horrendous "film". In hindsight, I shouldn't have done that, and thought before I acted, I could've died. After, I went to WVIA to talk about this horrendous movie, and they apologized. "Sorry, fellow worker, Godlys, we had an employee back in the day named Troy Bobber who made those god-awful shit, he got fired once the episode about Elmo's Uncle Jack's death, because he made that 'film', we don't know why he had Frank Oz a ghost, as he's still alive," the CEO pointed out.

We talked for hours about random silly shit like how big Elmo's mom's tits were. (Snickers: that's so funny!) And there was also a reveal that Troy had a mental illness proving once and for all that poor mental health makes people make the lost episodes that are known. Oh, and there's something to do with Grover, Ernie, and Bert.

But who the hell cares, it's finally done, my magnum opus Trollpasta, Nightmare on Sesame Street, done in an entire day at work! Now I just got to post it, NO!!!! I just sent it to Hollywood as my first movie idea. I'M FUCKED!!!! Wait, why the hell do they want $300 million to make it PG. Oh shit, it's happening!

Honey, I'm home. Oh, wait I forgot I'm an alone virgin for life. (Call 1:) Hey, Godlys, I heard you made Nightmare on Sesame Street. I heard it's so bad, the nazis and communists are using it as weapons. (Call 2:) Hey, Godlys, heard you made Nightmare on Sesame Street, the first movie to get a negative percentage on rotten tomatoes. (Call 3:) Hey, Godlys, so you can't get away with making it, I made a DVD with proof that you made Nightmare on Sesame Street. I sent you the first copy for free to cheer you up.

Wahhhhh!!!!!! (Spills milk on ground, throws DVD in garbage disposal, and throws coffee mugs) Why Hollywood, why?!!!! (Grabs pan and beats the mess up) They want me to do this. (After the crazy tantrum:) Wahhhhhhhhhh.

For those of you creepypasta makers foolish enough to watch Nightmare on Sesame Street, I won't lie to you, you'll likely die of how bad it is. You have my sympathies. Its scars in the heart stay deep within. Beware of the film.

But remember, one thing, one thing only. I did not make the movie. It always will be Troy Bobber. I destroyed the "proof" so there's none.

Not only that, the proof was faker than Kim Kardashian's fucking ass or some shit. Besides, Troy Bobber made it first.

I wasn't the first to see it though. Fred saw it and found it terrifying. However, he rated the movie 3 cats with rabies out of 5. So he kind of enjoyed this shitty film. Goodbye before I kill myself.

Wait, I don't have to kill myself. This movie will always be known as the best "so bad it's good" movie, with a giant cult. You want to know why I made this, for you guys to laugh at it. All of this to be known as one of the greats in bad filmmaking.

Wait, I get it now! All the penises, the fucking excessive swearing, the shitty plot! I know who wrote this!

JarJar Binks: Yea, Mesa's making a sequel to it. Mesa still going to claim it's Troy Bobber, so that annoying man can kill himself in shame! Mesa needs penises! Lots of penises! More than triple the penises used in the first movie!

(JarJar sees the bomb I sent to him) AHHHHHHH!!!!! (He fucking explodes)

Elmo's ghost dick: Hey, there's that guy, get him!

Oscar the Grouch: Hey, I told you to not find him, give me my 50 million and movie role back!

Elmo: Oh, you want 50 million huh? Elmo'll give you 50 fucking million! (Elmo smokes more marijuana and slaps the shit out of Oscar the Grouch's fucking ass, counting to 50 million each slap. All of this while his penis' ghost tortures me for what I wrote about it.)

Me: AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! Wait, you guys are in Sesame Street. Why are you in the real world?

Elmo's Penis Ghost: He's right, let's go Elmo!

Oscar the Grouch: Fuck no, my ass is going to get beaten again! (He grabs a gun and points it to his ear before I throw it)

Me: FUCK NO!!!! Don't kill yourself with that shit. Try rat poison instead! (I give Cookie Monster the rat poison and he drinks it, turning into a naked and 300 pound version of Kanye West.)

Kanye: Damn, what a blast! (He goes into his Ferrari and Elmo (smoking marijuana) and his penis ghost frolic back to Sesame Street. Cookie Monster randomly comes to the scene with another pipe and happily dances back. I confusingly wave to them till they fucking leave.)

(Suddenly, I randomly decide to piss on the electric fence I climbed. I, of course, die and go to hell.)

The Count: Well, you acted like a bastard in this shitty Trollpasta by escaping death multiple times. Did you?

(You throw your brain and whatever you used to read this away.) You: What the fuck kind of shit did I just fucking read?!

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Written by Godlys
Content is available under CC BY-SA

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