One Raziel, one fate!

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Perspective pans across a forest clearing where stands an elder vampire before the looming pillars of fate. From the south approaches Raziel, a twice scorned vampire, reincarnated as a wraith who wields the fabled ASS REAVER!

Raziel: "How could you toy with fate, kain? Just to save your own skin, no less!"

Kain: "Because fate is like a glass jar of cruelty upon which you must sit, Raziel. On the one hand I was meant to simply allow the jar to pass into my colon, should I reject the jar, it would shatter internally and seal my doom. Nupraptor ensured this. But suppose you removed jar entirely? Suppose instead, you bounced on your boys dick? That was my gambit, Raziel. To save the asshole of every vampire and mortal alike, I needed you to shatter the jar, so that I remove the glass jar of fate from your anus and replace it with a much more preferable boys dick.

Raziel: "But my righteous indignation! Doesn't that count for something? I came all this way to get my revenge for you shoving me into a whirlpool of acid and butt seeking glass jars! I've killed every one of my brethren... just so you could save them?"

Kain: "In fact I counted on it, Raziel. Fate needed you here in this moment. There was nothing you could have ever done to avoid this moment in history. You were always meant to land right here, on this glass jar, which will shatter inside your asshole."

Raziel: "...fuck."

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