Peanuts Massacare
I loved peanuts as I child. It was an entertaining series that brought my whole family together. As a father with a family of my own I still enjoy watching it with them. I went out to get the mail but then a package came in. There was an unmarked box with the title "Give in, Charlie Brown" crudely drawn on it. Curious, I played the tape it started out like most animated peanuts features with Charlie Brown being bullied but this time instead of brushing it off walking away, Charlie smacked Lucy in the face calling her a "dumb whore" she looked deeply offended but Charlie appeared to not care. Charlie went home and found a gun. At this point I contemplated throwing away the disc but then decided not as I was curious as to what would happen next. My wife showed up and then asked what I was watching I told her and then let her see for herself she was equally shocked and appalled. Where we left off Charlie was thinking of a plan to stop all this misfortune, all of a sudden he had an idea. He went into the Van Pelt house he decided to kill Linus in his sleep with dynamite. He then shot Lucy in both of the legs. Then he decided to go around the neighborhood shooting everyone who hated him. While we thought it would end there it turns out he murdered the whole cast of characters in increasingly gruesome ways Schroeder had his Piano fall on top of him. Snoopy's dog dish had grinded carcasses of yellow birds laced with poison. Charlie Brown then revisited Lucy who was on a wheelchair and said to her "Don't think I forgot about you, you were always there to make my life miserable your death will be filled with a worthless moment of that pain" with her wrists sliced open and her mouth full of lead she screamed even louder than when she was kissed by a dog and she fainted. But then, the police arrived and they didn't speak in the usual inaudible trombone noises adults usually would make, but instead were clearly speaking in a very strict tone. They asked Charlie how he felt about all this. How he felt we never knew as the screen went static as the tape ended. "Take it to the grave?" I asked my wife "Take it to the grave." she replied. The tape was then set on fire.
Written by R the Writer
Content is available under CC BY-SA
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