Rhythm Heaven Version 0
Something that I really don't like is people blaming ghosts and other supernatural bull for everything. Makes me sick. A less rational person probably would have blamed a ghost for the weird occurrences last week. I just blame a douchebag hacker. A genius douchebag hacker, but a douchebag hacker all the same. Here's what happened.
I was looking on eBay for the game Rhythm Heaven Fever, known over here in Britain as Beat the Beat: Rhythm Paradise, a mouthful of a name that I stubbornly refuse to address the game by. Anyway, I found somebody selling a PAL copy. Strangely, it had no description. I still wasn't going to turn down an offer of 50p. So I bought it, and in a few days, it got delivered to me.
I put it into my Wii, and it seemed perfectly fine, other than the fact that it thought my battery power was low, even though it wasn't (that was nothing too strange, it happened to my friend, too, who I first played the game with), and that every game was unlocked, but with no medals (even the extras that needed medals). I first decided to first play Remix 5, my favourite remix. When I entered, something was off. The melody was in a minor key, in an ominous piano tune. The music also got quieter and quieter. By the time I got to the launch party section with the awesome part of the music, the song faded away, and the game turned to black.
What I saw next made me turn away in disgust. A disturbing face appeared on screen, with red, 3D-looking eyes, a smile filled with a row of misshapen teeth, bloodstained at their flat ends. The black background the features were imposed on reminded me of? Eversion? I turned away in disgust, and heard a horrible chomping onto meat noise, really realistic. From the sideways glance I gave to it, it seemed that the characters were being eaten horrifically. I couldn't pause to leave, no matter how many times I spammed the pause button. I had to wait it out.
By the end of the minigame, it had the normal results screen, but with macabre messages. It said "You are a fool, You will never survive. Furthermore, nobody loves you." Harsh. Instead of 'OK' or 'Try Again', it screamed "DIE!". And I mean literally, a blood-curdling scream. After that shock, I decided to check other minigames. Maybe it was just Remix 5 that did that, for some insane reason. I checked my favourite game, Launch Party. It's logo was completely black and the description read 'Launch Party is no more.' It said the same with all the others in that column. I checked another game, Flockstep, but the same thing happened to it, the face appeared and the music was all sad.
I turned my Wii off and decided to try and return the game, but the douchebag hacker that he is deleted his eBay account. I then decided to tell a forum I inhabit about the events. Then, somebody posted 'yeh i hacked ur wii. wat u gonna do bout it bitch'. I must say, for a genius douchebag hacker, he had awful spelling. I checked his profile to see if he hacked anything else in his grammatically-incorrect tongue, but I clicked his profile, and the Eversion face from the game came up on my screen, munching at a bunch of realistic body parts. I rebooted my computer then. Things were almost back to normal. When I say almost, there was still the munching sounds, and they're still here.
I hate hackers. Next time I checked, the douchebag had removed all his accounts. I decided to go on Rhythm Heaven Fever once more. It was back to normal, everything was, and there was no creepy face or sad piano. There was still the chomping. Everywhere I went, even in real life. Damn hackers.
Credited to Rainbow Lizard
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