Shart Games
The crazy man came in ranting about some game where people were kidnapped then made to play kid's games.
I didn't pay much attention until I saw the card with the Playstation symbols. The same card I found in the apartment where my brother, In-Ho, was staying.
My name is Huang Jun-Ho and I'm a police officer.
I went to the location specified on the card and followed the van that picked up the player. Eventually the van joined a number of others and drove onto a ferry. I snuck onboard.
There were dozens of freaks in pink plastic coveralls and masks with a Playstation symbol on it. No one was dressed in normal clothes - I couldn't sneak around like this. I stole the uniform from one of the freaks and threw him overboard. All highly illegal but I need to find my brother.
Once ashore I hid in the room that belonged to the freak whose uniform I stole.
When the players first arrived there was an announcement, "you must be hungry after your long trip. You have 30 minutes to eat 30 burritos or you will be eliminated." The freaks pulled clothes off the tables to reveal piles and piles of burritos.
The smart players quickly realised that it was best to start early. Other players were hesitant. By the end of the 30 minutes about half had eaten 30 burritos and moved to safety.
As soon as the clock ticked over to 30 minutes they started shooting the remaining players. They did not shoot them with bullets - it was much worse than that. They were shot with a powerful laxative that would cause them to eliminate their bowels immediately. The sound of a hundred voices crying out in shame and a hundred butts crying out in diarrhoea filled the room.
I had to find out what was going on. I broke in the the head freak's office.
The players who made it through the burritos breathed a sigh of relief. They did not know that more was to come.
The players were taken to a giant elevated glass bridge. An announcement blared, "this game is hopscotch. All the glass is tempered. You must jump between the gaps between the glass pieces without shitting yourself.
The stomachs of the contestants were gurgling from the fear of the drop and the burritos. The first contestant gingerly jumped across each glass panel. The glass panels were far apart - requiring legs to be stretched to the limit, which made it hard to hold back the building poopnado. Eventually his sphincter could no longer hold and a terrible sound of human anguish filled the room, as his uniform turned brown.
The next player was determined not to suffer the same fate. Unfortunately she misjudged the gap and fell to the net below. The player was momentarily glad she wasn't dead but that would soon change. She was hit by a laxative dart and her bowel was eliminated.
The rest of the players made their way across. Many fell or the integrity of their sphincter failed - but some made it through to the next challenge.
Meanwhile I was rifling through files in the head freak's office. I found a book that showed that my brother had won the game in the year he went missing.
The players found themselves in a grubby bus station. An announcement came over the tannoy, "please wait while you wait for the bus to arrive. The bus is scheduled to arrive in 30 minutes."
A bad smell permeated the bus station. A player spotted the bus station toilet. "I don't care how dirty it is, a turtle head is poking out from the burritos."
He walked in then immediately collapsed and crapped himself. The levels of hydrogen sulphide from the disgusting toilet. Fortunately the gas was only strong enough to incapacitate, not to kill.
The other players saw using the toilet was not an option. The players spent the next half an hour alternating between sitting on the uncomfortable bus station seats and standing awkwardly. Some tried pacing awkwardly to keep the turtles at bay.
Every few minutes there would be an, "Oh God" and the unholy sound of a bowel being explosively unloaded.
Finally the bus arrived and the players waddled on board. The bus was being driven by one of the freaks. He gestured the players on board, indicating that they did not need to give the customary blow job to travel on the bus.
Being a long distance bus there was a toilet at the back of the bus.
But there was a handwritten sign that struck terror into the players,
화장실 고장
Toilet is out of order
The bus ride started smoothly, travelling down freeways. However the bus was soon travelling on side roads, full of potholes. The bumps started to set off diarrhoea like fire crackers. Finally the bus was travelling along corrugated gravel roads, causing players to be eliminated one after the other.
The bus arrived at the final game. The PA announced, "this is the final game. Please choose a numbered vest." Everyone chose a vest, not knowing what the purpose of the number was.
After everyone chose a vest a voice announced, "the number you chose is the order you will play the next game. Everyone who wins the game will get a share of 100 million won from the players who were eliminated, we should have mentioned that at the start."
"The rules of the game are as follows. There is a bathroom. You will enter the bathroom in order. There is only one toilet. You have 30 minutes to complete the game."
While this was happening, I had infiltrated the VIPs that had come to watch the game with their own eyes. One guy in a tiger mask took me to his room and asked for a blow job. When I took off my mask, I requested he take off his mask. He was none other than Manny the bus driver. I threatened him with my gun to get information about the game and my brother.
The first player entered the toilet. He blasted like there was no tomorrow. He didn't finish for three minutes. The sixteenth and last player looked at the clock with concern - if the other players took this long he would be eliminated when the clock ran out.
The procession continued. Some players were quicker and some were eliminated while they stood in line. The sixteenth player was beginning to have hope.
Until the tenth player went in. "I can't go with all you listening! Oh why can't I go!?" After the other players started singing to drown out the noise, he was able to go but it wasted seven minutes.
The rest of the players went as quickly as possible to save their comrades. The fourteenth player went so fast that he was eliminated when he forgot to wipe.
Finally the sixteenth player entered the toilet with a relieved look on his face. A torrent of the substance formerly known as burrito began issuing forth. It was like a Hurricane Katrina of faeces. He started wiping and stood to do a final wipe.
However that was just the eye of the storm. His brown eye erupted again, filling the bowl ever closer to its rim.
Closer and closer it came. Higher and higher. Until the toilet overflowed. The sixteenth player - number 456 - was covered in the disgusting matter emanating from the revolting toilet. He made peace with his fate
Meanwhile I had escaped the game by diving through an underground tunnel. I escaped outside to see none other than the head freak. He took his mask off to reveal it was... my brother.
"I'm sorry it had to end this way", he said as he fired a laxative dart at me. I fell to the ground as I lost control.
I looked up and saw a sign. It said, "DISNEY WORLD"
Credited to teambob
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