Shrimp Game
Author's note: This is a parody of Squid Game. Red Light, Green Light is the only game from the show that remains in this anime. It will be updated episode by episode, with an exception of the second one.
Episode 1: Red Light, Green Light (赤い光、緑の光)
Chickiwawa, Japan: 2022
Jeff the Killer lives his whole life online in his apartment in Chickiwawa. He used to work in a car factory, one of those with the robotic workers hands and stuff, so it was pretty chill. He currently works as a Trollpasta editor, a job he earned after earning the trust of GodzillaFan1 once Godzilla got out of prison. They were both fans of Gangrene Green and GodzillaFan1 used to be a member of EVILPATRIXXX's.
One day, he was at the arcade with his friend, Slenderman. They were betting ¥5000 on who can win at Initial D 4th Arcade Stage Limited. They booted it up, and Jeff ended up in the yellow sports car.
"DEJA VU, (gibberish) HIGHER ON THE STREETS, AND THE NOISE, (gibberish)"
"You got no chance, Slendy!"
"Oh screw you, Pale Comic Sans!"
"w-what?"
"I-don't know, OH I WON!"
"MOTHAF-"
"HAHAHAHA!"
Jeff accidentally won and got his ¥5000. Hurraeh! :)
After banking his winnings, he called his daughter, Edith. "You'll have to wait for you're birthday present, sweetie! Haha, Love you!" (HANGS UP) He was in a euphoric state at this moment, but then a gang of TitleMax people popped out.
"Hey Mr. The Killer, what'cha doin with that cash?" one asked slyly.
"Ooh shit, OH SHIT, OAH SHET!" he runs back, and things seem better and far away from them, until!
(BOOP) He runs into the Gwen from TDI in a trenchcoat, and she ends up stealing his winnings. Oh, COME ON! THEY'RE BOTH QUIET-ish?
Jeff ran into the bathroom, and the TitleMax people cornered him.
"For f-frick's sake, guys? I-I have the money, o-akay?"
"Ooh, well why do you proof that to us."
He went into his pocket and it wasn't there, DAFUQ?
"W-w-wait!"
One of them Hadouken-ed him which left him with a single bloody cheek.
"Ooh, you poor thang."
He dipped his finger in Jeff's blood, and flicked it on other guy, and they fought for several minutes.
"Anyways, here's the NEW deal. Just sign with this pen he- OH, I guess that works too."
They let him alone, and Jeff had to break it to Edith about the cash at a Chick-Fil-A.
"..."
"...It was just a really big mosqi-coyote. I-it's fine."
"Dad, you can get into fights, don't be embarrassed."
He didn't really respond to that, but did let out a: "I'm sorry that this probably isn't what you we're expecting for you're birthday."
"Oh, it's fine. ...Mom said that Chick-Fil-A was junk food. (laugh)"
"Well it's still good right?" "Yeah, OH and here's you're birthday gift."
He got out a small gift box, and when she unwrapped the bow, it opened up like a freemium game cutscene, and it was a box set of the Complete Nostalgia Critic series, along with a bonus feature of the lost episode pasta.
"Many women are joining YouTube Reviewing nowadays, I thought it would be a great inclusion for you, Edith."
She didn't really have an extreme reaction, but was not disappointed in the slightest.
30 Minutes later...
Jeff was walking home in the Alleyways of Suburban Chickiwawa, and something caught his eye. It was a wild Meaty! It was a tiny trollface with the human skin! He immediately tried to catch it, but it squeaked away into a tiny oval hole. "Oh, boi."
Later, he sat at a bus stop in the middle of the night, and didn't even realize a random salesman sat down next to him.
"Good Evening, sir."
"Whatever manga or bourbon your selling, I say no."
"I was just going to ask you if you would lik-!" (HANDS UP)
He held his hands up when Jeff showed the Nostalgia Critic DVD set.
"...I-I assume that's a collector's edition."
"Of course it is, now fuck off."
Jeff put it away, and the salesman guy relaxed.
"I was wondering if you would like to play a game with me. Betting ¥500"
He had already set up a whole Pickleball arena on the road. Jeff looked confused, but replied.
"Sure...I guess."
They played Pickleball, and Jeff seems to be winning, but the salesman beated him just by an inch of IN.
"Frickin. Do I have to pay up now?"
"Not really, you can also pay with your sanity."
"What?"
"Is this among us? Sus?" said the salesman
"AHH WTF IT HURTS!"
They kept playing for several minutes, with more and more dead meme references, which had a silver lining due to turning Jeff insane, and it lead to him winning Pickleball.
"YEAH BECH, come here, DEEZ NU-!"
The salesman put Jeff in a rear-naked-choke, and handed him his money. He also handed him a card. The card had three shapes on it, an octangle, a star, and a hexagon. The then let go of Jeff, and stated:
"We're full of plenty spots and little candidates, so why not?"
He immediately took the card, and the salesman teleported to an unknown location. The pickleball set also disappeared.
...
Jeff got home around 11 PM, which is 23 hours in Japan, and he checked Trollpasta.
He got a message from Thermometer:
Dear Jeff, Can you fill me in tomorrow? I have something I have to do, and it's rather important. -Thermometer
He responded with:
Sure, I'm not that busy tomorrow, good luck with whatever you're doing! :) -Jeff
He was of course lying, the card said that the meeting place was in front of Tokyo Eiffel Tower, oh well.
THE NEXT DAY...
Jeff was waiting in front of the landmark in a rather crowded area at Noon. The van pulled up, and the masked driver said, "What's the password."
"...Chocolate Cake?"
"No."
"W-W-WAIT, ...Shrimp?"
The door opened like a DeLorean with the load hush noise, and Jeff jumped in, which caused gas to fill the vehicle.
...
...
(Eminem begins playing on speakers.)
W-where are we?
Jeff found himself in the bunk in a huge bunkroom with 'UwU' symbols on the walls, and a water fountain with a statue of Shrek.
"UwU 32, UwU 33, UwU thrit-"
I turned around, and saw an elderly Mr. Beast.
"Mr. Beast, what are you doing here?"
"My doctor said counting dead memes would help my health."
"...huh?"
"I have a lump, right here." he pointed at his shoulder.
Then, SLOWLY, masked people in green and red Christmas-like jumpsuits showed up, and the one in the middle-front who was wearing an Octagon mask said:
"Welcome slayers, we welcome you to the Shrimp Game, originally sponsored by Susan Wojcicki until just this year."
(CHEERS)
"Anyways, the first game will begin shortly, please stop listening to me and listen only to the announcement woman."
"All gratitude, Anon! Please follow the guards to the game hall.
They followed them into a rustic-looking stairs hall, and they walked over to the picture booths.
"SMILE"
"I am..."
(CAMERA FLASH)
The camera took the photo automatically, and they all went to Game one.
Game 1 looked just like the one in the show, but the only difference was the girl on the other side of the game was a giant cartoon Shrimp with a ceramic SpongeBob sitting on top.
There were a ton of people here, including (but not limited to), Sheldon Cooper, Pingu, Eric Cartman, WellFriedToast, Sr. Pelo, Gwen from earlier, and some many more.
The announcement stated the rules of Red Light Green Light, but one of the other players looked rather familiar to Jeff, and he walked up to him.
"Thermometer! Holy crap, what are you doing here!" he said happily.
"Jeff, you're here too?"
"Wait, so is this the important thing you we're talking about-"
"HEY LOOK SPOGBOB! :)"
Right at that moment, the game began.
(PAUSE MUSIC DURING RED LIGHT): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q-QVZTKHfuE
GREEN LIGHT! said the SpongeBob. While it was green light, the Grass Skirt Chase music played on the speakers.
The people started running, Pingu being in first place.
RED LIGHT! said SpongeBob, and the music stopped.
Pingu suddenly slid on the sand like he was in the Nets or something, and the announcement said: "Player 45: Eliminated."
"The idiot got shanked." said WellFriedToast.
BOOM
And, he was down. Wait, WHATDAF?
WellFriedToast began to run, and got BOOMED.
His guts spilled on a random woman. "...AHHHH!!!" BOOM
"AAH!"
"HOLY SHIT DUDE!"
Several more normies ran and were B-B-B-B-BOOM-BOOMED.
Jeff stayed in his place, and Thermometer got behind an alive Normie.
...
GREEN LIGHT!
This time, only Mr. Beast moved through, smiling sinisterly at the SpongeBob. And he even stopped right at the...
RED LIGHT!
Eventually, people began to move slowly, and some getting offed.
Gwen was hiding behind Sr. Pelo.
"Aha, haha, you think your so clever." he said.
"What about THIS?"
Right at the Green Light, he pulled him down, and they both lived thankfully.
But later, Jeff almost tripped on a body and lost, but then (GASP) Dhar Mann saved him by holding him!
Most people ended up winning, and the game closed with the SpongeBob winking at Mr. Beast.
Episode 2: The Man with the AE86 (AE86を持つ男)
The survivors of Red Light, Green Light were taken back to the bunk room, and because of the nature of Trollpastas, are immediately adapted to the nature of the games. People realized that they needed to form teams to survive, not just from the games, but from each other.
Jeff and Thermometer had known each other since Pre-K, and were childhood friends until Thermometer left for college. I mean, they were still friends, just didn't see each other in person until now.
"Can I be on your team? I'm a Doctor who went to Yale Medical School."
Jeff thought for a second, but then realized the guy who he was talking to was Dr. Hartman. Someone who could get us all killed based on several Family Guy episonics. He politely refused with "NO." And WHAT DOES HE DO? Joins Sr. Pelo's Antagonist team! FUCKIN JUST-!
So far, Jeff's team included Himself, Thermometer, Dhar Mann, and Mr. Beast. Even if they have their differences and social awkwardnesses, Jeff and Thermometer remain close, as evident by:
"This guy graduated from Chickiwawa University, Trollpastology." said Jeff, while the latter gave a monotone look.
After mealtime, the next game was announced, and everybody went into the game hall, up the stairs, and to the next game.
(WIDE LOOK AROUND)
"Da fwuck is all this?" said Sr. Pelo.
It was a huge Kid's-Bedroom-like room with orange track flying all around it. A starting line that looked like one of those Chinese 50 lane highways lay next to the entrance.
"The second game you will be playing is Real Life Hot Wheels. Each Player will use one of these 200 cars to get to the finish line. Those who fall out or crash, will be eliminated. As in, the car's engines are implemented with a collision detecting bomb which detects whether a player has hit anything besides the track. Now for god's sake, please board the cars."
They did, even if the announceress was rather impolite. Many of the cars caught Jeff's eye, and others were kinda shitty. The boneshaker was his first choice, but was taken by Sr. Pelo, then he tried the Rip Rod which was taken by Thermometer, and then he tried to get the Bugatti, but that was taken by Cr1TiKaL. The only second car left was in the back... ,and it was non other than a genuine American-made Toyota AE86. Jeff and Dhar fought hard for the car, until a guard forced Dhar to get into a KIA. Mr. Beast apparently had reserved a Lambo.
SR PELO -> BONESHAKER
THERMOMETER -> RIP ROD
CRITIKAL -> BUGATTI
DHAR MANN -> KIA
MR. BEAST -> LAMBORGINI
GWEN -> BLUE INITIAL D CAR (whatever it's called)
PERIDOT AMTHYST -> JAMES BOND ASTON MARTIN CAR
JEFF -> TOYOTA TURENO AE86
SONG PLAYING: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OlaV6y4eFKg
"Start your engines!" said the announcement.
10
9, skip a few
GO!
BHBHBHBHHBBHBHBNNNGGGGGH
All the cars went, and immediately several blew up from other cars intentionally running them over.
The track started out simple enough, with a large turn and drop to the floor, but then immediately went into a half-loop-half-helix. A few cars fell off, and exploded once they hit the floor. Jeff and Gwen's cars were able to drift on the curves, such as the many that came up when they entered into the giant cabinets, the track went in-between panels and several empty track parts were air-time jumps over the 4 Shrek movie DVDs.
However, one of them caught Jeff's eye, who was in last place. There was a sticky note on Shrek 2 which said SHORT CUT <- he panned the car sideways on the last jump, which led to a new tunnel, and a HUGE BOOST which sent the AE86 all the way back up, over the rest of the players, and into first place.
The course then went upwards to the still ceiling fan, and had a sharp, unexpected turn around the fan. This caused Critikal's Bugatti to almost spass out, and ran into Sr. Pelo's Boneshaker. They were on each other's teams and communicated through a walkie-talkie.
"Stop fuckin running into me, WTF is wrong with you!"
"It was a Misinput, Misinput,"
"Calm down! YOU CALM THE FUCK DOWN, ...IT WAS A MISINPUT!"
The track went down vertically, and a few unsuspecting cars going 100 mph flew off. Thermometer was smart enough to slow down before the drop, and hit all the MAX BOOSTS while leveling out, and he got to first place.
After a huge turnaround, the track went into a huge loop-the-loop, and Jeff's car seemed screwed, as he began to slow down and fall semi-upside down, but ended up falling right on the other side of the loop, in front of everyone.
The second to last stretch was a series of dangerous curves and hairpins which worked perfectly for cars like the AE86 and Blue Car, but caused Peridot's car to crash in between edges of the track, and almost take everyone else with him, but fell off instead.
Finally, there was a huge corkscrew leading into a mega boost, launching all of the cars into the air and going through the finish line in the ceiling. Despite Jeff being first, everybody left was a winner. Thankfully, they didn't crash, but rather teleported to the game hall while a motivating message popped up on their windshields.
But wait, why did it feel like Mr. Beast's car was sticking straight to the track, even on the jumps?
Episode 3: Stick to the Bouncing Ball (バウンドボールにこだわる)
Now this is the part where it gets bad, if you've seen the original show. It was mealtime when Jeff and the rest of the remaining players got back to the bunk room and had that dreaded meal time. As you would expect, IHOP and Slushies for the exact number of players was prepared. The thing that made it screwed was that Sr. Pelo's team were huge assholes.
This lead to them casually cutting in line for seconds. And after they did, a normie behind them took notice.
"Excuse me, where's my meal?"
"W-w, ...what are you just greedy is something?" the guard said.
"No, it's just it's not here."
"Well we prepared food for the exact amount of player, exactly cookie-cutter exact. And I'm basically a slave working here, so does it look like I give a shit?"
"I know who it was, it was them." a woman behind him pointed to Sr. Pelo's team. It was at this moment WW3 started.
The man walked over to Sr. Pelo and said, "Hey, you idiots cut in line for seconds!"
"(grunt) What he said." said Pelo. He was talking about the guard.
They began fighting for the slushy, which in this case was mint-chocolate. "GIVE MEEEE" squealed the guy.
A whole circle formed around them like a street fight, and Sr. Pelo ended up kicking him in the balls, sending the normie flying to the other side of the room, and landing on the people.
Jeff and his group made no comment, and Jeff didn't think about it at all. Even when the fight broke out after bedtime, he was confused about the whole situation.
(lip smack)OH WAIT, I SEEM TO BE FORGETING A PLOT LINE DONT I, WELL HERE IT ES.
TW0 DAYS EARLIER
Nostalgia Critic had heard the news of like 200 people in Japan being missing, and decided to investigate. He ran to the chopper and flew from his castle helipad to the dock where he suspected the people were taken. It was the middle of the day. Several vans came and bared to notice the loud chopper above them. His inventory only had a pickaxe and SMG, so he should be fine.
He parachuted out of there, and landed on top of the cargo plane which was carrying them. He was able to stand on top of there until it crash-landed onto an island supposedly North. He decided to disguise himself as a guard by tripping one of the actual guards over.
"YEET"
He tried to run away, but Critic hit him on the head with the other end of the pickaxe. He got into the suit.
"Number 93!" shouted a octangle guard, I think. "Why do you have that hat on?"
Nostalgia Critic still had his cap on top of the outfit.
"...I don't know, man."
"Okay."
He was able to slip in just like that, thank god. Okay, back to the other story.
PRESENT...
The fight happened and people weren't really that injured, people ended up just pulling other people's hairs and one player was shouting K.O a lot.
Mr. Beast did not stop the fight by standing on the bunk, but it just stopped after a minute.
"Sir, do you know anyone in here named (UNKNOWN) with parentheses?" said Critic to Jeff.
"W-we don't know each other's names."
He walked away, and Jeff thought what a lovely name that was, an unique.
Shortly after, the third game was about to begin, and everybody went into the game hall as expected.
It was a giant chamber with a huge, colorful tower with big grey-brown translucent, trampoline windows throughout.
"The third game you will be playing is Bouncy Tower Chase. It isn't really a game from you guy's childhoods, it's just something the Front Man made up. Anyways, you will be tasked with using one of the 25 bouncy balls to bounce your way up the Bouncy-house tower, grab one of the 5 coins, and back down again for collection. Before the game begins, you must form teams of 5. One of your members will lead the team to the top and back, two will defend their team and fend off the other team using a paintball gun, one will carry the coin, and the other is a free-for-all, or as we like to call, the Lazy Little Shit. Also, the paintballs aren't an out, just use them. You will be given 30 seconds to form teams, and GO."
Sr. Pelo's team was already complete, with Sr. Pelo the leader, Critikal and Gerald Way the defenders, Obama the carrier, and Dr. Hartman the LLS, after the OK Boomer girl was kicked off of their team because Sr. Pelo realized she had a boyfriend. Jeff's team had Thermometer the leader, Jeff and Mr. Beast the defenders, Dhar Mann the carrier, and OK Boomer Girl the LLS.
You will have 30 minutes to get a coin and bring it back.
3
2
ONE, GO!
(SQUEAK, SQUEAK, FLATULANCE-LIKE SOUNDS)
The whole room sounded like a collapsing whoopie-cushion factory except extremely echoey.
Mr. Beast and Jeff began firing at Pelo's team, which slowed them down a little, but did not stop Gerard and Critikal from firing back.
It started out like a maze, different corridors with stairs which trampoline them turbo-style.
Eventually, Sr. Pelo's team began to be winning, as they chalked up the tower while everyone was bouncing as if they were launching themselves front-upwards crazily. The towers was like 100 stories high, but it let each defender on each team to snipe and quick attack each other as if it was actual Paintball.
Thermometer was able to lead them up through the steep stairs and ladders even though they almost fell off of the bouncing balls, which would get a player eliminated.
All the teams barely got to the top alive, but Mr. Beast was fine AF. Dhar Mann smugly grabbed the foot by foot tall and wide coin, and it seemed Jeff's team and others were cornered by Sr. Pelo's and Normie teams.
"We need to jump!" suggested Thermometer.
"ARE YOU FUKIN CRAZY!?" yelled Ok Boomer girl.
"It's the only choice, and also your really annoying! On three!"
"ONE, TWO, THREE!"
"Wait, what did LLS mean?" asked Mr. Beast just before they dropped off.
Written by Minksdinkle7
Content is available under CC BY-SA
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- Trollpasta
- Satire
- Look at me! I'm SO EDGY!
- Loads of Characters
- Memes
- Animulz
- COMPUTERS AND INTERWEBZ
- DIALOGUE!
- Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
- Inside Jokes
- SpongeBob
- TELAVISHUN
- TOTALLY NOT UNFINISHED U GUIZE
- Crappy ms paint drawings
- Stuff Blowing Up
- Pointless Violence
- BATTELS
- MOTHER OF FUCK THIS PAGE IS LONG LIKE MY PAINIS
- I CAN HAZ TRANSLATION?
