Sonic.png.zip.exe

This is a true story from 2069, in dankville.

I have an obsession with sonic. Seriously. I have all sonic games, all sonic comics, all sonic merchandise, and all sonic porn. So when I saw a pop up for a game called Sonic.png.zip.exe, I was pissing myself screaming. It asked for all my credit card information, my social security number, my email, all control over my computer, you know, the basic stuff. So after giving them all of my information, it began to download on to my computer. My computer said "This file might harm your computer. Are you sure you want to save it?" I yelled at my computer "NO FUCKING SHIT YOU DO THIS WHEN I DOWNLOAD PORN" I saved it and when I opened it I got my sippy cup ready and fine to waste more hours of my life.

I opened it and the first thing I saw was the original startup screen for sonic 1. "Is this some bootleg that some jackass is gonna make a creepypasta about?" I thought as the screen turned to sonic with hyper-realistic eyes stabbing Shadow. "What fucking mods does this game have" I said as I became desensitized to the murder of Shadow. My mom walked in and said, "Is this more porn?" I shook my head as she smacked the fuck out of me. Maybe sonic will do something. Then, when the title screen was over, a clip of the 2008 Oscars. The clip was when Daniel Day-Lewis won the best actor award. Sonic was laughing so loud my ears were gushing out blood so quick my floor was covered with ear blood. "Might as well turn off my computer" I said as my ears kept gushing blood. I went to sleep.

When I woke up I got a letter saying "Please stop playing. PLZ" Huh, I should keep playing Sonic.png.zip.exe. When I turned it back on the university of Minnesota mascot being sacrificed to the holy lord Satan. It said Press SPACE to sacrifice to Satan. Huh, this really must be a casual game. I pressed space and a hyper-realistic scream made my ears gush gratuitous amounts of blood. Dammit, I'm going to the dentist again. I went to the dentist and he began to drill into my head. It worked.

I turned the game on but it said, Sorry, you must wait until your dick becomes 8 inches long. I had been found out, and I needed to read creepypasta to get me a big boner. I read sonic.exe. That has nothing to do with Sonic.png.zip.exe. I accidentally started the game up, but my dick was 8 inches long, so my body was ready. But it exited out. Then I watch Some Ordinary Gamers and started to get the idea to write a trollpasta, because why else would anyone do research on the 2008 Oscars?

A wild sonic.exe appeared. The game is an mmo? When did it become an mmo? Why is this game an mmo? Find out on the next episode of Dragonball Z!

I was writing more trollpasta, and tried to think of a 80s reference but I'm not gonna do any more research, especially on Internet Explorer. So I started up my computer and accessed the deep web. The first link I saw was "WANNA BUY SOME FUCKING MAGIC??? CLICK HERE!!!1" I clicked and my computer got infected. I took my computer to the dentist but it died. The end.

1 review=1 prayer to computer.

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