Spherebob beat my ass
Author's note: Before you read this story just know that I didn't make up the character of spherebob I only made this story, Spherebob was actually made by @spherebob on Twitter so go follow him cuz he's chill)
This is a very traumatic tale from my childhood, and it is very real (to any non-believers who doubt spherebob actually beat my ass), so any criticism of it will NOT be tolerated, anyone who does critice any aspect of my awesome storytelling skils will be called mean and nasty names in the comments, and I'll even make a post on reddit slandering you! So be nice ok thanks.
It was a rainy and dark and scary night outside and I was spending my time scrolling through Twitter reacting to hecckin' wholesome kino memes when all of a sudden a strange and mysterious Twitter user I've never seen before came up in my feed, his name was spherebob, and he had this profile picture that looked like SpongeBob except if he was tall and round and very scary, his eyes were all black except for two red dots that make up his pupils, in that Twitter post he said "Ohio whomp behind you, I am Alex" (this was so scary I had to look behind me to make sure Ohio whomp wasn't there that's how scary this was)
Now I knew what was going on, Alex Spherebob was being a big tubby troll and was trying to scare me into going to bed! I was not going to give up that easily thoughever, as a matter of fact I was about to give spherebob a piece of my mind! I marched into his comment section with my Patrick Bateman playlist going on in the background, I could feel that DOG in me coming out, I said to that tubbster "That's fake, take this down before I tell my dad on you!" this was it, this was my magnum opus, after pressing the send button I got up from my chair and said "I feel so sigma!" before sitting back down and going back to scrolling through my epic memes.
But that's when something really scary happened, I got a notification, the bloop sound was super scray and made me fall back in my chair, when I got up to check who disturbed my peaceful meme scrolling, and who else was it but spherebob, he replied to me, it was a singular image labeled Ohiowhomp.jpg, it was a picture of a whomp except it was super scary, it had big yellow hands and a huge mustache and evil eyes! At this point I knew that what Alex Spherebob was doing wasn't trolling anymore, this was targeted harassment, I would just block him but I live by one rule and one rule only, "block = own", and I wasn't about to let someone named "spherebob" own me, so I knew I had to go about another way to get this spherebob guy to shut up, after carefull consiteration I found the best option was to out-annoy him so he will blocked me.
My first strategy was to Yakuza plap in his comments all day long, but to no avail, then I said mean and nasty things to him but he shrugged it off and kept saying things were behind me, what's worse, he got all his spherbobbers to join in on harassing me and I just couldn't take it anymore, I had to use my ultimate weapon, I had to call him a bad word, I had to call him a "big fuck", it was an outlandish and unheard of fate to doom someone to, but it was a necessary evil to rid me of this beast, after sending my atomic TRVTHNVKE of a reply I waited for his next move.
He responded with "your Wedia 😂😂", it was that and a video of lugi form lugigis scray mansion, except he was cursed and had big real blood all over him, he was known as "Maltigi" and he was very scary (he's super scary) so I can't show you him but he was very realistic and very scary.
That image of lugi screaming was imbedded in my mind, I stood up all night thinking about him, and thinking about how this stupid spherebob guy was ruining my live! That was it, that was the final straw, I MUST rapport spherebob!
The first thing I did next day was eat breakfast, the next thing I did was watch teenage mutant ninja turtles, the third thing I did was eat more cereal, then I got remembered spherebob was haunted me!
So I logged into Twitter and I started to rapport spherebob, I did it for violence and misinfo! I also made a post saying how mean he was, I thought for sure this would kil him forever and make me not deal with him anymore, but that was a mistake for me to think because later he dmed me and said, "don't raport me ever again or something scary will happen I am alex" and then I said "actually you're bad also noot you nooter!" and then he replied with "you shouldn't have done that I am Alex" I think I made him very angry, and you won't believe what scrya thing happened to me nexts!
Alex Spherebob jumped through my screen and said "Why I oughta! I am Alex" Or something I dunno I was busy pooping and peeing in my pants because I was so scared. I tried to run but spherebob caught me and dragged me through my computer screen, and when I woke up I was in a place that was like hell but worse because there was spherebobbers there, and then Devilbob flew down and said "haha loser welcome to hellbobbia I am devilbob" and then I turned around and all the spherebobs that bullied me were there behind me, and there was Ohio whomp and Maltigi too! Alex Spherebob said "we're gonna beat you up big meanie I am Alex" and I said "oh no don't do that" but then he said "haha we're gonna do it anyway I am Alex"
This all really happened btw I'm not making this up at all
Alex Spherebob then pinned me down and started to jump on me with his hard shoes (it hurt alot) and then the one that looked like a tomato came up to me and had a big poop on my head and smeared the poop on my head and called me poophead and Maltigi was Maltiging all over the place, and then Ohio womp came over and crushed my skuul, I can't remember a lot after that but I think there was a lot of blood and they had a party in my blood and it was super scary and they're evil and they love blood and there was blood everywhere and I died.
Haha, sike! I actually didn't die because I remember I have super mysterious werewolf magic powers and I made myself not dead after I died, and then I destroyed all of hellbobbia forever and then I flew back to the real world using my angel wings because I also am a fallen angel.
After I got out of there I was left super shocked and scared from what spherebob just did to me, how he beat my ass down there, and now I am permanently ledt scared from that experiens
So whatever you do brochacos, if you see spherebob on your Twitter, don't do what I did or you might not escape with your life.
CUNCLUSION
Thanks for reading my awesome story, remember that this is based of a real life experience so if you be mean in the comments and say my story sucks then you're basically like kicking a puppy or something so make sure to say only nice things in the comments or spherebob will get you!
Written by Macoroniac333
Content is available under CC BY-SA
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