Spyro's Revenge on Humanity

Have you ever noticed that our world is changing dramatically and at a fast pace? I'm not just referring to the rapid development of technology. I'm talking about something a bit more threatening, more life-changing, and more sinister.

The Earth we live on has become gradually smaller. We can tell because of the compression of the atmosphere, made apparent by the increasing number of natural disasters, like earthquakes, floods, and hurricanes. These types of disasters happen whenever the Earth shrinks in size. Of course, the government wants to hide this from us, but if you go outside and look around, you'll see what I mean. Now, you may be asking, what does this have to do with Spyro the Dragon? I'll explain that momentarily.

Insomniac Games wanted to stop making Spyro games after they finished creating the first one. They may have used the excuse that they lacked inspiration for a sequel, but there's something else they were hiding. They had unintentionally created a monster, and they were afraid of what it would become.

Spyro grew up in a world mainly inhabited and ruled by dragons. Thus, when he discovered a link to the real world, he wanted to take over. Assuming humans had taken the world from the dragons, he sought revenge on humanity. However, realizing he was outnumbered by humans, he decided to do the next best thing: to steal the Earth's land and resources and use it to add to his own world, a little bit at a time. Spyro started small, mainly taking abandoned places and places with few humans, though he did attack and even kill some people in the process. This is proven by the overwhelming number of missing persons who have disappeared without a trace. Many of them were his victims. That's also why so many of the levels resemble locations in our world.

During the earlier stages of the first game's development, Insomniac accidentally let this evil version of Spyro escape into our world. Insomniac had to continue making the games due to the conditions of their contract, so they had to cover up what had happened and find ways to avoid further damage. They couldn't get the demon out of their game engine, so they attempted to control it and hinder its capabilities. The developers' final way of controlling the beast was with the third game. They put Spyro in a world where he had less power. They put him in a place from which the magic had faded away, and they added other playable characters, even allowing Sparx to have his own levels in which he flew solo. This kept Spyro's power in check and slowed the process of depleting our world's resources.

There is other evidence to add to this. "No sheep were harmed during the creation of this game" is a familiar quotation to anyone who viewed the credits of this game. However, this statement really is no laughing matter. They were trying to cover up Spyro's escape to the real world. At some point during the first game's development, Spyro used his devilish magic to steal acres of farmland, along with its livestock, and bring it into his world. That's one of the reasons there are so many sheep in the games.

I discovered all of this when playing the game in the early 2010s. I've had my copy since the game's release, and it had gotten pretty scratched up over the recent years. This gaming session was particularly glitchy. I was minding my own business, playing Spyro the Dragon for old times' sake. Now, my copy of the game is very old, and it started to get more glitches every time I played it. This time was by far the worst yet. The screen got all distorted, and static was coming out of my controller, making it very difficult to hold. When I started a new game, there was a demonic Spyro on screen, with soulless, black eyes and dark violet scales. He even had a mid-length emo haircut.

I couldn't control this character at all. He turned toward the screen with his demonic eyes. I got an uneasy feeling that he was looking directly at me. He glared at me, seeming to look right into my soul. Then I saw him look up into the sky. The camera tilted upward to show a portal up in the sky that I had never seen before. I was shocked when I saw the name of my city written above the portal. He flew through it, and the next thing I knew, a portal opened up in the real world, right in front of me. The demonic Spyro was standing right before me. I backed away, but he set me on fire with his fire breath.

Now, luckily, I have been the Stop-Drop-and-Roll-a-thon champion in my hometown for four years running, and I managed to put the fire out. While I was doing this, Spyro flew outside and went to the hills beyond my house. I couldn't believe my eyes. He used some sort of demon magic to pull a large mass of earth from the ground and send it through a portal. When I looked back to my TV, I saw the same exact land mass appear through a portal on-screen, but with the lower-res PS1 graphics. Right after that, there was a large earthquake in my city, while the gap closed up where the land had been removed.

Unfortunately, the insanity wasn't over yet. After this happened, Spyro returned to my room and breathed fire on me again! I stopped, dropped, and rolled again, but he kept repeatedly lighting me on fire, causing my flesh to cook like a rotisserie pig, without the skewer.

Finally, satisfied at causing me so much pain, the sadistic Spyro went back through the portal into his own world. I looked back at the screen, and as I watched, I realized what was going on. I could barely believe my eyes. Spyro went through another portal in the sky and came out on a satellite in outer space. He began emitting waves onto the Earth. This must be how he controlled our minds, giving us false memories so that we wouldn't realize that our world had changed. Unfortunately for him, the memory is crystal clear in my mind, and I can expose him for what he has done.

After recovering from my shock and pain, I hastily turned off the console to prevent further damage. I had gotten severe burns during the attack and had to go to the hospital to get treated. Imagine trying to explain what happened to the doctors. They thought I was insane and tried to give me all sorts of drugs to help my "mental condition".

I have written this to warn you all, so hopefully nobody else suffers this fate. Never play a glitchy copy of the Spyro games again, especially not the first one, in which the demon is the most unrestrained. Otherwise, you may be contributing to our world's end. I'm sure you've had times when you thought you remembered visiting a certain place, possibly even thinking you had lived there. You may have been able to describe it in great detail. Don't disregard these happenings or consider them to be just your imagination or dreams. You very well could have been in a place stolen by this demonic beast and later been brainwashed to believe otherwise.

Remember how there was always an area in certain levels that you couldn't go past because it was out of bounds? Furthermore, anyone who has explored the glitches of the second and third games, for example swimming in the air, will know about the extra, unused content visible in certain places. That's where this rogue Spyro is adding onto his own world, building it by stealing our Earth's land masses and structures. Luckily, I was able to witness this and spread this as a warning.

Spyro may truly be a living being, or at least he is some type of sinister A.I. that is able to directly affect our world. Moreover, who says it stops at the Spyro games? I believe that Spyro is in cahoots with a number of other video game characters, tearing our world apart. Be careful whenever you play a glitchy game because you never know what kind of monster you may end up releasing.

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