Super Mario Brothers 2: World 666 Level 666

Hi, my name is Slimmington Shadykins I had a terrifying experience with a pirated copy of Super Mario Brothers 2, the "bastard son of the franchise". One day, I really wanted to play Super Mario Brothers 2. So I went to my local GameStop despite the fact that this was 2014 and the only games GameStop has are Cocks of Duty and Bafflefield 4. I walked up to the counter and asked "hey, do you have a copy of Super Mario Brothers 2?" The clerk looked at me with a terrified look on his face and cried out "SHIT! HE IS COMING! THE REIGO COMES!" I looked at him inquisitively. "TAKE IT! TAKE IT AND GO! BUT WHATEVER YOU DO................ DON'T SHIT ON THE CARTRIDGE." Once I got my game and ran away from the insane clerk, I headed to my car in the mall parking lot, avoiding various Cthulhus and Smile Dogs who kept on trying to get me to "pass it on". I told them to fuck off and that I knew the photo-negative Mickey Mouse from Mowgli's Palace. They straight fucked off and dipped back to their hoods.

Once I got home, I walked to my living room where my NES was plugged in. Why I have 30 year old tech plugged into my TV where an Xbox One should be, that's none of your fucking business, asshole. As I approached the NES, curiosity suddenly took hold of me like a virgin's hand around his cock. I suddenly dropped the Super Mario Brothers 2 cartridge to the ground, dropped my drawers, and took a violent shit on it. After dumping the three Taco Bell meals, six McDonald's meals, and fifty Burger King Meals I had earlier that afternoon, I plugged the soiled cartridge into my NES and pressed the power button.......

The game booted up normally, except on the screen where you pick your characters, they all had worried looks on their faces. I felt horrible for them and began to sob violently while masturbating. After I was done, I picked Luigi, who was always Mario's second banana. Luigi shouted "FUCK NO!" in a hyperrealistic voice. I shrugged it off and entered the game. This is when things began to get weird. As Luigi dropped out of door in the sky, I realized the background that is usually black was blood red. Bile and clotted blood dripped down the background. I got Luigi out of that situation as quickly as I could. Once I entered the first level, everything just started going to absolute shit. The water was hyperrealistic blood that clotted and bubbled as it passed over jagged 8-bit rocks. The regular enemies were replaced with bloodied severed heads. They would occasionally shout "CHIN IS DEAD!" when I picked them up. I shrugged it off as a glitch and continued through the level. I passed through the cave where there's those two little black jumping things. Instead of being black jumping things doe they were little copies of Deadmau5, covered in blood and shrieking "MANOS RULES ALL! THE HANDS OF FATE WILL CRUSH YOU!" "Am I A Psycho?" By Tech N9ne started playing as I jumped on them, picked them up, and tossed them at the wall. When they hit the wall, hyperrealistic blood forcibly exploded out from their desecrated abortions of carcasses. I turned away and vomited because I'm a huge pussy. After exiting the cave, I was suddenly at the end of the stage where Birdo is. As I approached her, I found her already dead. She was hung from a cloud with an angry face, hyperrealistic blood dripping out of her hyperrealistic blood. I grabbed the orb she dropped and exited the level.

It was then I realized why the clerk told me not to take a shit on the cartridge.

Instead of going to the next world, I was now in "World 666 – 666". This made me so scared that I ran to the kitchen, stuck my dick in the toaster, and screamed "CAILLEY PLEASE!" After toasting my penis, I returned to the game. Everything had turned into hyperrealistic blood that was now leaking from my TV screen except the platforms. I guided Luigi around, who was now covered in bile, shit and hyperrealistic blood. "Come..." a voice cried out. Luigi turned around without my control and I got zapped from my NES controller. After dying from being electrocuted I shrugged it off as a glitch and came back to life. Something came out from the back of the screen. It seemed like a shadow at first... then the shadow faded.

It was Farzadboy2003.

He was a horrifying abortion of his former self, his face twisted into a disgusting mockery of something that was alive. His teeth were forcibly shoved forward, and his hair was completely shaved. "HEATHER NICOLE PLEASE" was carved into his forehead. "The mess I'm gonna put you through is gonna be worse than Pearl Harbor and shit!" Farzadboy said. I had Luigi flee from him as quickly as he could. Farzadboy wasn't far behind, his child sized penis in his hand. He tugged violently on his cock. I was on the edge of my seat, my thumb jammed into the right arrow of the D-pad. I didn't want to see the Mario bruther get violently molested by the evil Farzadboy2003.

But it was too late.

Farzardboy2003 grabbed Luigi and placed him onto his child sized penis, fucking his asshole violently. Luigi screamed out in pain as his body was utterly ripped apart by the gigantic cock. Feces, blood and bile exploded from the shattered abortion that was once Luigi's corpse. Suddenly, a massive fucking funnel of hyperrealistic blood shot out of my TV screen and blasted me in the face. It killed me. But I shrugged it off as a glitch and came back to life.

To this day, I refuse to ever play Banjo Katoodie ever again.

Comments • 0

Loading comments...