THE MAGIKALL ADVECHURES OF DA HOBBIT
The Beginning
Once upon a time, there was a Hobbit who was fat, ugly, old, weird, weak, lazy, nasty, and lived in magical garden. He had a beard that grew 1 centimeter every hour. He met a psychotic clown named Kefka, and Kefka cut off his beard, and the Hobbit passed out in fright. He woke up and forgot all about it and went to the random mirror in the magical garden to comb his beloved beard. When he saw it he cried like a two year old girl for OVER 9,000 hours straight. Kefka appeared out of nowhere and cut off the Hobbit's head. The headless Hobbit, even though he had already been beheaded, said "I'm the Hobbit, and I have magical powers, cha cha cha!!!" He grew his head back. Kefka punched the Hobbit, and the Hobbit died. The Hobbit used his "Fabulous Powers" to revive himself.
The Revived Hobbit
Kefka gets annoyed and kicks the Hobbit off a random bridge that the Hobbit had been building for 1 year. He didn't work very hard on it, it was deformed, it looked like a big blob with a banana on it. Kefka realized that the magic wand was the source of the Hobbit's magic. Kefka breaks the magic wand, and the Hobbit cries for for the rest of the story. Kefka was bored so he ate a grenade p, and we'll, sadly, that was the end of Kefka.
The beat down of the Hobbit
The Hobbit happily strolls along(while still crying)in the stream, until he falls of a waterfall. The Hobbit screams "WAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!" He knocked out by a falling banana. The Hobbit lands in Sweet Apple Acres while AppleJack was apple bucking. AppleBloom sees his ugly face and screams "Holy applesauce Applejack, there's a some kinda monster out here!" The Hobbit speeds alongside a tree. Apple kicks him with all of her strength. The Hobbit goes through the tree, up to the sky, into space, and into the sun. The Hobbit, while on fire feel down on a cloud. He thought to himself, "ahhhh, what a nice peaceful cloud..." Rainbow Dash flies so fast, carries the Hobbit up and does a Sonic Rainboom! The Hobbit flies so farrrrr! Into Rarity's Fashion place and Rarity shrieks "Oh my, what a hideous monstrosity, he needs a head to toe makeover!" She dies his grey hair pink, puts a skirt on him, a bra, lipstick, and tattoos the words "I'm a moron" on him. Rarity looks so happy to see him all clean and "beautiful". He walks to the SugarCube Cupcakes, Pinkie Pie's new restaurant. Pinkie Pie is so happy to see an elderly cross dressing hobbit as a new customer. She hops on him and he dies. He is in the afterlife and pulls a new magic wand out of his pants. He responds in the forest, only to see a sign saying "Best Pony's House Dead Ahead." He heads dead ahead and walks in. Fluttershy screams "oh my goodness, a dragon!!" She tackles him, beats him half to death, takes him to the backyard,(which is basically the forest). He teleports them both to a big cliff. Fluttershy then pushes him off the Grand Canyon. He uses his magical powers to make him not die from the fall. However, he is still in unimaginable pain. He teleports to a tree. He walks in and sees owlicous. Owlicous pecks at his head. He claims it doesn't hurt. Owlicious pecks him between the legs. Owwwwwweeeee! The hobbit screams! Twilight Sparkle walks over and screams "WHAT ARE YOU YOU ARENT IN MY BOOKS!" He tries to run but she uses her alicorn magic to slam him into the wall a million times in five seconds. He teleports away.
The Hobbit Goes To A Concert
The Hobbit sees tickets in a 2 year old boy's hands. He says twilight sparkle gave them to him, but they're not Grand Galloping Gala tickets. He takes the boy's tickets and runs home. He sees that they are Disturbed tickets. He said they suck, suddenly I pop out and beat him half to death because Disturbed is the best band ever. He soon discovers that the 2 year old is Samuel Draiman, the leads singer David Draiman's son. David appears and beats the Hobbit up so bad that even his magic wand couldn't fix him. Dan Donegan slams his guitar at the Hobbit and the tuning pegs rips a hole in his cheek. Suddenly david marion of fear before appears and says "copycat" and punches the hobbit knocking him out. Mike Wengren beats the Hobbit with him drumsticks and John Moyer rips another hole in his cheek with the bass.
the DEATH of the Hobbit
The Hobbit teleports to Dead hill zone, and meets the SONIC.EXE and Giygas. They torture him to death and break his last magic wand which will lead to his REAL death. They kick his body off the angel island. His body falls into a deep hold where he is buried by the Slenderman.
3 years later
David Draiman, Dan Donegan, Mike Wengren, John Moyer, Giygas, Sonic.exe, the mane six, Kefka, Mastermax888, and I go to the grave and throw banana's on it. We read the tombstone " HERE LIES THE WORST YOUTUBER, GREG ONISION HOBBIT JACKSON."
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