THE TRUTH OF THE INTERNET
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NSFW WARNING
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So one time I was sitting on the toilet when all of a sudden I had a toilet epiphany. I looked into the mirror and saw something. I saw the truth. I looked deep into the mirror as I got lost in thought. I realized what the internet really is.
The internet is like an uncircumcised dong.
Now before you leave and say "OMG WTF GROSS", hear me out. You see, an uncircumcised dong has two parts. The foreskin and the parts under it. The foreskin is like the internet we see everyday. Foreskin is gross to people who don't have it/use it very often. So is the internet. The internet can be gross if you look at all of it, but looks normal if you look at a certain region. The foreskin and the internet also give people pleasure. Having foreskin can be great, but you might get picked on for using it. LIKE THE INTERNET. As said earlier, the internet gives pleasure and so does the foreskin. This can also be used in refrence that the internet is full of porn.
Now here comes the gross part. The deep web or the underbelly of the internet is the smegma. It's the mixture of everything unholy in one place. Guns, sex, drugs, slaves, all dat shit. And what is smegma? A mixture of seamen, piss, and other gross things that builds up under the foreskin. People might now even know smegma/the deep web exists until someone tells them about it or they find it by themselves in disgust. When the penis ejaculates it's pretty gross and nobody would want their mom seeing it. Just like /b/.
Now that we got past the gross part here's the big picture. The internet is an uncircumcised dong. Get over it. But as I was looking in the mirror I realized more. Now, what do people usually do to uncircumcised penises? They cut the foreskin off. Now who else is trying to make sure the internet looks nice, clean, and devoid of all pleasure like a circumcised dong? The government. The government wants to rip off the foreskin of the internet and wash away the dirty smegma. I kept looking in the mirror in horror as I realized this.
This discovery may be the greatest one in existence, so I'm going to publish it on a parody site of the creepypasta genre. As I type this, I can hear the government's dong brigades coming to snip my pecker. They won't stop until the internet gets snipped. TAKE AWAY THEIR SCISSORS. DON'T LET THE GOVERNMENT CIRCUMCISE YOU TOO! STOP THIS MADNESS. BEWARE OBAMA. HE WANTS TO SNIP YOUR DONG!
Written by The Damn Batman
Content is available under CC BY-SA
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