That Time That Jacob Got Massive Mind Loss

There were three friends. Jacob, Matt, and Toby, the sexiest beasts alive, and narrators of the Bad Crappypoopsa YouTube channel. However, that all changed one day. It was a day like any other, until Jacob began to have the worst cough. It only grew worse, into a deep rumble, which echoed throughout their home, and swapped the tenses briefly. The three go to a hospital, in order to get Jacob examined. As they enter, the tenses swap back.

It was a short wait before they were taken to see a doctor. Their doctor entered the room, the propeller on his cap still spinning rapidly. He introduced himself as Dr. Raving Cuckoo Esquire IV. He began to look up and down at Matt, before stating his diagnosis.

"Ah, yes. It would appear to be a case of severe idiocy."

Toby looked at him, before stating, "No, doctor, it's our friend Jacob who is sick. You see, he--"

Before Toby could utter another word, the decorative flower on the doctor's chest sprayed a stream of water at him, immediately shutting him up. The doctor continued, "Ah, yes. I can already tell it is a severe case of..." He paused, writing something down on a strip of paper, before showing the paper to Matt and Toby, careful not to let Jacob see. The paper read, "Instant Death Disease".

The doctor then looked at Jacob, and said "This would have been a death sentence 2 years ago, but thanks to the work of my father, Dr. Raving Cuckoo Esquire III, tragically killed in a unicycle accident, this is easily curable with some brain drugs." Toby and Matt were concerned, as they knew of the effects that brain drugs had on people. But, as they didn't want to lose their friend/secret punching bag, they agreed. The doctor stuck a tube up Jacob's ass, to administer the brain drugs. Jacob began to laugh uncontrollably. The others were frightened, jumping in surprise. The doctor, seeing their obvious concern, stated "This is normal. Come back in three weeks, it should have subsided by then. Now if you'll excuse me, I have another patient to tend to," he said, before putting on a pair of rollerblades, running over a nurse, and exiting the room.

The pair went home that night, and went to bed, without concern. They continued to record for the next 3 weeks, however it wasn't the same without Jacob, even though they did bring in multiple patrons to fill the void. They returned to the hospital, excited to finally see their friend. They returned to find the hospital in ruin, Dr. Raving Cuckoo lying in a pool of his own blood. Just as they wondered what happened, the doctor looked up at them, and with his dying breaths, handed them a note. He fell face down, unmoving. They took the note, and as they pulled it from his hand, a long string of handkerchiefs connected to the note unfurled from his sleeve. The note simply read, "Go back home."

They returned home to find the place trashed, in a similar manner to the hospital. They went slowly upstairs, slowly slowing pace to a very slow pace, however not slowing any further than their current slow pace, because the Department of Redundancy Department is currently trying to kick in the author's door. As they crept up the stairs, they saw Jacob standing at the far end of the room. As he turned to face them, he was obviously showing signs of Massive Mind Loss, a clear side effect of the brain drugs. He charged them, knocking Matt down the stairs. As Matt struck the bottom, he died. Then, Jacob ran up the stairs, and grabbed Toby, due to the fact that his sheer insanity allowed him to lift like 3 imperial tons, but not British people tons.

Jacob threw Toby through a window which was conveniently on the roof somehow. As Toby struck the ground outside, Jacob ran over to him. As Toby died, Jacob leaned down and whispered these awful, haunting words to him...

"Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring, banana phone!"

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