The Budiman Hiimjim Chronicles Part 1
Prologue
It is 2017 and Budiman Hiimjim is sitting alone with his riches in Hiimjim Castle. The recently deceased Jimothy Hiimjim Junior has left Budiman with his entire estate along with one clear message:
Keep your fish intake high. Enforce the ban on mahogany doors. Always be ;f. This above all... To the Hiimjim name be true.
Chapter 1
In which Budi contemplates the meaning of life and attempts to purchase a really nice investment property
Budiman Hiimjim sat upon his throne and wept. The great King Jimothy was no more. Although he was glad to inherit the entire kingdom of the Hiimjims, at the young age of 8, Budiman had no idea what to do with his newfound power. He wanted his father back.
"To be or not to be?" plagiarised Budi aloud, sighing. At that precise moment, his Amusing Telephone buzzed. He pulled the phone out of his pocket, and saw that he had received an MMS.
"Hey, check out this nice investment property" read the message. Attached was an image of a brand new house.
Budi grinned maniacally as he texted back frantically. "Isn't that a new home?"
"Sure is. 10 year warranty. Good roofing, nice location. Incredible price."
Budi shook the building with evil laughter, still texting. "Who's the builder?"
However, at that exact moment, the mobile reception at Hiimjim Castle gave way. "Curses! Foiled again!" shrieked Budiman.
Chapter 2
In which Budi has an idea
Seething, Budi stared at his Amusing Telephone. He couldn't believe this opportunity had slipped through his fingers. Suddenly, Budi had an idea. "What if," Budiman thought, "I started doing product reviews? After all, I am royalty. Every product will want the Budiman Hiimjim seal of approval!" Budiman rubbed his hands together in glee and rushed to his study.
In no time flat, Budi had constructed a rudimentary stamp in the GNU Image Manipulation Program. A recent sketch of himself stuck out from a thick black circle, with the word APPROVED written across it in green. Underneath this was a banner reading "Budi Approved". It was perfect!
He needed an excellent product to launch the line with, to prove to the public that the Budi Approved stamp meant quality. He took one look at the Amusing Telephone resting in his pocket and realised it was perfect. With a 42 megapixel front-facing camera, Retina display, and 300 GB internal hard disk, what more could anyone want? Oh, except extreme portability and an inbuilt game of Angry Birds, both of which the Amusing Telephone featured. Opening up LibreOffice Writer, Budi composed a brief review that would soon launch his product review career and bring him fame and fortune...
This amusing telephone is excellent! I got mine shrinkwrapped on mail order, and it even came with a bonus Angry Birds app, free! Using this telephone is so amusing. Even looking at it causes me to burst out laughing just like everyone else does when they look at me! 5 stars and Budi Approved.
6 WEEKS LATER
Chapter 3
In which Budi's idea pays off and that guy gets back to him about the investment property
BREAKING NEWS: THE BUDI APPROVED STAMP IS HERE
Budi Approved has seen massive success recently following the release a hardcover book containing all 437 and a half of Budiman Hiimjim's clear, concise product reviews. Fans are purchasing every lazy compilation of Budi Approved reviews as though everything Budiman makes is solid gold. The products reviewed range from novelty toasters to microscope lenses and they're all "5 stars and Budi Approved."
Budi, never the hygienic type, rolled around in his money and laughed for an unhealthy amount of time. His Amusing Telephone buzzed. He pulled the technological marvel out of his pocket and saw another SMS from the guy with the house.
"Hey, I was just wondering if you still wanted that house" read the message
"Sure!!" responded Budiman, cackling until his smoker's cough kicked in. "Just mail it to my P.O. box."
"Just kidding I am evil fish and I have teamed up with Jeff The Killer to kill you!!!"
Suddenly, Budiman heard a knock on his doorbell. Through his window, he saw a disfigured murderer who would be eerily familiar to literally anyone who has ever read a creepypasta. "GO TO SLEEP!!!" it rasped.
TO BE CONTINUED...
Created by the New York Wiki team
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