The Diary of Olaf Fiskkuk

day one: my name s olaf fiskkuk; im a professional swedish fisherman. i dont have a fridge but i live in sweden so its k. ill be back tomorrow cause i need to go fishing. day two: every country in the world declared war on sweden today. im very worried cause everyone is after us. day three: everyone is threatening sweden with nuclear war. they said that they need to prevent the second coming of pewdiepie which i can both understand and agree with. im fucked. day four: the nukes were dropped on sweden today. me and my friend hingderdingder managed to survive cause we ran to our underground survival bunker. day five: my pet fish were diagnosed with radiation sickness. i thought the bunker was secure enough. im sure it is though. i think hingderdingder might have had something to do with it. day six: survivors were trying to get us to let them into the bunker. it would be the christian thing to do but the majority of us swedes are atheist and really dont give a shit. day seven: im becoming very suspicious of hingderdingder. he hasnt been speaking very much and hes aimlessly wandering the halls of the bunker. day seven: were running out of fish. were going to have to eat my irradiated fish eventually. hopefully it wont kill us. day eight: hingderdingder can no longer be trusted. im trying to stay clear of him as much as possible. day nine: were almost all out of fish and hingderdingder got radiation sickness from the fish. good thing i hid the rest of the fish. day ten: i swear someone else was inside the bunker last night. i was in bed and he was just walking by. i got a good look at his face and it wasnt anyone i knew. hingderdingder mustve let him in. that bastard. he cant be trusted. i need to get rid of him. day eleven: i grew a beard. im proud of my beard. day twelve: hingderdingder found my stash of fish and ate them all. fucking asshole. day thirteen: i killed hingderdingder. he was going to die anyway and i needed to kill him before he killed me. day fourteen: today was a good day. i achieved the limits of human insanity and i lit a fire to burn hingderdingders body. along with his body i also burned all of my anti religious possessions. i no longer have any use for them. patrixxx forgive me. day fifteen: ive decided to leave the bunker. whats going on out there cant be any worse than what will happen to me if i stay inside of this place. day sixteen: i came back to the bunker to get my coat. its too fucking cold out there. day seventeen: hingderdingders brother beowulf came to kill me in revenge for murdering him. i managed to escape him and hide in an abandoned seafood restaurant until nightfall. day eightteen: beowulf found me and shaved my beard. i have to reason to live anymore. this will be my last entry.

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