The Duality of EXE Protagonists

Ever since I started my career in cybersecurity, I've started to grow a hatred towards Sonic the Hedgehog. Not because of all the EXE monsters I had to deal with or even from being forced to play 2006 as a kid, but because of how infuriating each customer has been when it comes to paranormal Sonic malware. These are actual cases that I got while working.

CASE 1:

"I clicked on Sonic Superstars. The SEGA logo was replaced with "SATAN" in bleeding crimson letter for 6.669 seconds. Sonic himself had void black scleras along with red pupils hyprerrealisticly generated in MS Paint. The grass was dead, the mountains were made of brimstone, and the ocean was replaced by blood like it was Iron Lung. Tails had dark grey fur and had his head impaled on a wooded spike, Knuckles had crimson fur and every single vital organ removed from his body to be scattered around the lands in the background, and Amy died after searching her name on Google. The wings in the logo were replaced by massive horns and the sky was replaced by Giygas from Earthbound. The text at the bottom of the screen was red and on fire while reading "Press Any Button to Die Instantly".

It's just a minor glitch, so I'll press Enter to contin-"

CASE 2

"I clicked on my Steam install for Sonic 1. It all seemed normal at first, but after 5 days I noticed that there were a couple of stray, transparent white pixels on top of the ring behind Sonic.

I can't believe that SEGA would let this horrific disgrace fly, the entire game was now unplayable and my PC bricked after I shot it 387363 times with mommy's AK-47. Fuck it, I'm breaking into the White House and launching nukes at every single country. Living on the same planet as the Sonic 1 Stray Pixel is an irredeemable sin."

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