The More You Go
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NSFW WARNING
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You may not believe this, and you don't have to. But heed my warning.
Beneath the Earth a monster lurks. He feasts upon the bodies of the living. However, he can only be summoned from the depths through a certain ritual. Complete the ancient ritual and he will arise from the Earth. He will ask you to tell him the names of five people that you hate, but only ones that you have met and talked to before. Once he takes them, he will give you power beyond recognition. And now, I will tell you of the ritual.
The first step is you go to an open clearing in any forest. Then, you make a campfire and light it. Stand up and chant "Arise, arise! Feast upon those I name!" A portal will appear, and hands will start coming out of it. Don't let them grab you in, or else.
Or else what you say? They will drag you in, and penetrate your anus. And you won't like it. Finally, after an hour of chanting, the deep one will appear. You tell him the names. He will grow larger and larger, and then he will grasp your buttocks firmly. For the love of Jeebus, don't eat any onions, or the shadow will appear as Shrek, and you won't like that.
>Be me
>Summon Shrek in Satanic Ritual
>He enters my butt
>The pain
>I do it for Shrek though
>It pleases him
Then, name the names. They will all appear before you, and he will give you a vision of their gruesome deaths. And now? The power is yours. But not yet. He'll enter your butthole. Let him do it. LET HIM. IF YOU DON'T LET HIM, IT GETS WORSE. He will turn white with love stains. He will be very pleased. He will then let a load out. Yell YES many times until he stops. He will push you over. Sob quietly. He will then sit on top of you. His floppy will be all over your face. Don't open your mouth. Grab it, and pull it off like you do in Super Mario Sunshine, when you fight Glooper the Blooper. Laugh. He will then be enfuriated, and rip your buttocks off and eat it. This is truly fucked up.
It'll make you in so much pain. So run, run away from the pain. In the forest, you will trip and fall over a log. Inside the log, there will be a jug of milk. Grab it, and drink it. It's definitely milk, and not some other white substance. Trust me. Run through the forest, and find a man named Mario, who is a doctor. He will repair your anus. When it is repaired, it will have a secret power, and very few have this power. I will tell you what the power is, but be careful.
The power is a danger and threat to this Universe, so keep it under wraps. Don't ever tell anyone about it. Not even your best friend. I will now explain what the power is...
It's an ass. Inside of an ass. Inside of an ass. Inside of an ass. Inside of an ass.
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