The Pineapple Conspiracy

So,I felt as if I had to share this,a pretty unbelievable story.I don't expect anyone to believe this (mainly because this is on Trollpasta,but that's besides the point),but I just had to get it off my soul.So.....now that the cliche intro that is in every creepypasta ever made is out of the way....let's begin I guess.

You've all heard of canned pineapples,unless you live in Africa where food is a rarity,but anyway,I've always loved canned pineapple.Which is weird because I.and excuse the coarse language,fricking hate regular pineapple.Anyway,I used to eat it all the time(don't take it out of context,you know what I meant).That changed.Obviously because otherwise this wouldn't even be a story to begin with,but let's stop getting side-tracked.One stormy night.because I love using cliche's,I was sitting at my computer drinking mountain dew and posting on reddit enlightened by my intelligence.Then I suddenly realized the plot was not moving forward I decided to go the kitchen and grab some canned pineapple.

I got up and I accidentally kicked my trash bin,which proceed to fall over and cans falling everywhere.That was strange,I thought my mo-I mean I took out the trash that morning.Just how much canned pineapple had i eaten?I decided not to ponder it and I continued on my way to the kitchen.The hallway was dark and I couldn't see shit,the light bulb go burnt out earlier that day because plot convenience.I wanted to call the whole thing off,but through sheer primal instinct,like a wolf stalking it's pray in the dark,that I had to move forward and grab my canned pineapple.

As I walked through the dark house,I felt overwhelming sadness.I couldn't tell you why,because I'm a bad writer,but I was feeling extremely depressed.More so than that time Obama won.The only source of light was the Tv,which was showing unsurprisingly a canned pineapple commercial.As I opened the fridge,it had few cans of canned pineapple.I grabbed one and tried showing it down my throat,but I just threw up because I already had too much.I went to the bathroom to clean myself up,then I looked in the mirror to see the pathetic fat overweight man I was.It didn't make sense,I had been exclusively eaten canned pineapple for the last couple of weeks.

I went back to my pc,the advertising banner was showing another commercial for canned pineapple.All the posts were about it.I was already sick of this fad.I tried commenting on it,but I got banned.Such a shame,I had a lot of karma from exclusively posting unfunny puns for months.In my anger,I decided to grab some Mountain Dew to calm myself down,since I had over 300 kilos I could've easily given myself a heart attack.Fucking moderators these days.Sorry for the language.

As I opened to door to the fridge,I got even more pissed.It was cans upon of cans of canned pineapple.The whole fridge was full of it.I almost fainted,but I couldn't allow myself to fall down and go through the floor.The image on the cans always pissed me off,showing me some kind of fucking tropical island,like it was mocking me."You fucking loser,can't you afford to move to an island?".No,I couldn't because I'm unemployed,but that's not the point I'm trying to get across.I decided to go to the store to buy something else to eat because I was sick of canned pineapple.

I took my fedora and my trench-coat,because that's still funny in 2018,and I walked out the door.The trip to the store was.....I could only describe it as the walk to the gates of hell itself.It took an eternity,even tho it's only one street away.Bad writing trying to pad out the story or just me being incredibly out of shape,it doesn't matter.As I walked down the street,there were palm trees replacing all the regular wild life.Everywhere I fucking looked,I see all these fucking Chads eating their canned pineapples and hitting on hot chicks,and all these fucking surfer dudes pointing and laughing at me.

It was pineapple fever,I had eaten to much and now I was delirious.I had to get something else to get the taste of pineapple off my tongue.As I kept walking,the pavement turned into sand,the sky turned red,like a beautiful sunset of a tropical island/fucking hell itself.I fell on my knees from the heat and started crawling on the burning sand.I wanted to give up....but I couldn't,it couldn't end like that.I got up and kicked the front of the store door open.....in vain.All that was on the shelves was canned pineapples,and on the walls that new poster with the advertising of canned pineapple with Bill Cosby on it.That won't age badly at all.I screamed,but everyone was too busy eating their canned pineapples to care.No one heard me.All the people were braindead,like religious nuts,but worse.No one was speaking,their mouths were stuffed with pineapple.As the pineapple fever took it's toll,the store disappeared and I was on beach,with a canned pineapple can in my hand.

As the world turned flatter and flatter,I finally realized what was going on.The world had been a canned pineapple can all along.

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