The Return of the Muppets

if you stick, a dick in a pike, it's sure to turn green. that's how hermit the bog was created. i'll start when i was first diagnosed with diabeetus, when i was only 9 years old. i stuck a pike in my penis to flat out the pain, but my penis suddenly FELL off. i was screaming as it transformed into a massive creature with 8 thousand limbs. i ran away to my skool, but the creature came and ate the school and myself! i am typing this while im getting digested. this is my last report, good bye, falcon lovers, goodbye.