The Story Of Scott
Before I begin, this is a true story. All the events that happened in this story, are 100% real. No clishays or any of that non-sense.
One bloody day, i think it was a Saturday... no, a Sunday. Wait, it was a Friday. Yup, totally a Friday.
One bloody Friday, on a Saturday, this kid named Scott went for a walk, and noticed his favorite video game sleeping on the ground. And when he went to go pick it up, she noticed a a a man standing in a dark alley next to the video game. He asked the man "excuse me, sir. Penis." and picked the game up, and- went back home to his apartment. Blood. He got home and went onto his computer, and decided to start a war with the French. It was known as the great war of "blood blood blood blood blood Paynus blood bloody blood and gay dads." and They are leader " insert french name here"
was a great leader who did great things. Penis envy.
and suddenly, Batman came and helped me out with my math homework. i shouted "Holy penis envy, batman! i have a ton of homeowkr!" then he left to go beat up some bad guys.
Decapitation.
Scott started playing his game. it was called "The Legend Of Zelda" and when he started playing it, it began on the first level. it loaded up and everything seemed perfectly fine. it was just as he remembered. Pikachu started up on green hill zone, as the first act of world 2-5 in Skyrim. when he played it, it got a little weirder every tarme. a text popped up and said "blood is coming to get you" he screamed and kept playing anyway. then suddenly, a cow walked into his room and molested him. he kept playing anyway. once he got to the post apocalyptic Mojave wasteland, he followed Sanic the hedgewhore into a dark cave. he heard a weird noise.
the next day, he went for another walk, and he was thinking to itself "maybe that man i saw yesterday was... no. it couldn't be." he was very scared. he kept penising... Duct Tape.
he got home and played some more of the game he found. he took a break to go for another walk. he died.
the next day he went to work, and asked his co-worker about the game, and his co-worker said "NO! DON'T PLAY THAT GAME! YOU'LL DIE!"
and Scott was all like "AWWWWHHH HAIL NAWWW" and then they killed themselves.
Banana.
so the jews woke up the next day, and he played the game again. when he was playing TLOZ, Brad Pitt is my love muffin.
so, 9001 days later, he played the game again, but this time... Dr. Robotnik wasen't there. so he put Blurred Lines by Robin Thicke on repeat to help ease the pain. he cried tears of hyper realistic Bananas into the toilet, and when he stopped, he farted. they weren't just ordinary farts... they were.... hyper realistic farts of blood.
your mom is a girl.
so wine he was done with his day job, he would go to the club. but the club couldn't handle him, so he farted a lot.
den teh feels were really starting to get to his apple knockers. i think i'm jewish.
once he came back to life, he went and listened to the lavender town theme untill he died from blood. and then he lived and died from more blood blood penis down up X O up left up diagonal down blood.
so he went back in time to the day he picked up the video game, which didn't even happen yet. but it really happened. i swear!
so when she finally woke up, she said "oh it was just a dream..." and then eateded a poptart.
so his boygirlitfriend came over and they watched they are favorite movie "bloody blood bath boiling blood bobbing in the sea of blood 69" and they falled asleep watching it, so they ended up crying too.
the next day he played the game a little more, and he came across a level called "new world 5" and was curious, cause he didn't remember that level being in the game. so he played it, and Jigglypuff came on the screen and started singing "Blurred Lines" which is the best song ever in the histary of the worlde
and then he beat the level, and there was a new level called "the bloody river of hyper realistic doom and stuff, oh god, no, don't do that, NO! OH GOD, OH GOD! THAT'S NOT SUPPOSE TO GO THERE!" and he finished the game. scott was so happy.
the next day, Scott woke up amd beat it again. scoot was so happy.
the next scoot woke up and 666 ILLUMINATI DEVIL SATAN THE ALL SEEING EYE OBAMA BLARG 666 JUSTIN BEIBER AND SLUTS DEVIL ILLUMINATI.
scooter was so happy.
but out of no where, jeff the killer whale came in and stabbed him, and he was terrified of apple knockers. so whatever. i don't care.
jeff and scott became good friends and died together. whatever.
so when he woke up on a random bloody day, he decided to kill some puppies, while it was raining acid and snowing pee outside.
weenies.
when scott woke up the next day, he decided to beat up some midgets, and then fell in love with his wiiboxstation.
Brad pitt fell in love with him and they lived with apple knockers and bananas with jeff the killer whale.
penis.
-the end.
and then they decided to go and beat more midgets up, and he shouted "OH GOD! IT'S EVERYWHERE... ALL OVER MY CLOTHES... MY BAZINGAS... MY GAYNESS" and he died.
the next day, he died with blood.
penis envy.
blood.
-the end.
then blurred lines played while he lived with apple knockers and jeff the killer whale and brad pitt.
i have a hamster. and a fat banana apple knocker.
ILLUMINATI.
-the end.
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