The Story of Casper the Ghost
This actually happened 12 years ago, but I figured you guys might enjoy it because it's super duper creepy.
So I was walking down an alleyway looking for my pet dog lucky when I discovered a man wearing nothing but underwear (that was covered in crusty shit) pushing a shopping cart and digging through trash. "Hello sir, have you seen my dog lucky?" I asked him. "Wanna buy some crack!!?" He responded. "No not really, but my dog might want some, have you seen him?" I told him. "Here take this puta, and don't come back!!" He yelled handing me a mysterious AAA pamphlet on driver safety. The man then proceeded to take off his underwear and run off into the sunset. Man boobs gracefully jiggling from side to side.
I gave up looking for lucky and went home because I remembered he died 15 years ago. The spooky pamphlet was covered with jibberish and smelled like piss. I began paging through the thing wondering as to why I had been given this man's prized possession.
In the literally shittiest hand writing I've ever seen (It was literally written with shit) I found an address 1234 Street St.. I googled the place to find out where it was. It was my house!!
I began freaking out! How'd this guy know where I lived? And why was he trying to teach me driving safety?? There was a slight knock behind me. I turned around to see the homeless man jumping out of my closet!!! Except he wasn't homeless!! This was his house and I was in it!
"WANNA BUY SOME CRACK ESÉ!!?" He yelled shoving a bag of a crystalline substance in my face. I screamed "NO, get the fuck away from me!!!". The man's face turned to one of sadness. He dropped the bag of crack and went back into the closet from which he came. He started crying... All he wanted was to sell crack and I was depriving him of it. I took 20$ out of my pocket and gave it to the man. His face lit up and he took his crack pipe out. He handed it to me, and then gracefully jumped out of the house through the window.
I looked out the window where he landed and he was nowhere to be seen. He vanished without a trace. To this day I still have that man's crack pipe and live in his house. I have named the man Casper the Ghost after his beloved crack cocaine. Rumor has it, that the man finally was relieved and his spirit could rest for eternity (Aka he overdosed). If you ever find a Hispanic man in an alleyway who's offering you crack just purchase some so that the man can go out, get boozed up, and finally obtain his homeless man wings and go to heaven (or wherever homeless people end when they die).
TL;DR Crack is whack folks
Originally uploaded on August 8, 2015
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