The Ten Billionth Book
They say that if you take the number of every single song in existence, including ones never sung (such as in books long forgotten), or perhaps ones that have never been heard by more than one person, and add all of the numbers together, it will equal a very important number. Take this number, and raise it to the same number. For instance, if this number was 10, you would raise 10 to the 10th power. Anyways, should you decide to proceed with this, remember this number.
The first meaning it will have to you is as a page number. However, you will need to find the book that was (the number)th book ever created. For example, if your number is 10,000,000,000, then the book will be the 10,000,000,000th book ever created. Yes, it will have 10,000,000,000 pages if that truly is the number.
It is not that easy, however. (The number)th song ever created will have, within its lyrics, more numbers spelled out. If a word has five words or more, the letter will be the third letter of the word. These numbers spell out the latitude and longitude of where the book is located.
Should you go to this latitude and longitude, you will need to bury on that exact spot. You will unearth a pearly white box; it is made from the bones of tortured humans and animals alike. It is locked, though, and you will need to replace the box and turn directly west and walk (the number) amount of steps. Once you stop, pat the ground directly where you are (the number) amount of times. Once you are finished, there will be a key on the ground. Hurry back, though, because if too many hours go by, the box will sink back into the ground. Should you arrive too late, and find the box nowhere in sight, run. Run and never return to that spot ever again, for if you do a creature will rise from the earth and capture you. For (the number) of years, you will be tortured and then finally made part of the box. On the other hand, if you arrive on time you should quickly snatch up the box and unlock it.
Once you unlock it, there is no turning back. You must remove the book with your right hand, and let the box drop. It will shatter into a million pieces, yet it will stop the creature from coming. If you put the box back down, the creature will come and collect you for eternal damnation. Likewise, you do not follow the exact instructions from hereon out, the consequences will be dire.
Turn to your number's page. Now, add up all the numbers in your current number. This will now be known as number b. Read the (number b)th word on the page, and chant this aloud until you are physically unable to say it anymore. Believe me, you will know. At this time, it will be dark and cold, so that all you can see is the book in front of you and nothing else aside from the upper half of your body.
An angel will then descend from the dark, but you are not to look up until it speaks your name. Once you do, you must look directly into its eyes. The angel will look into your soul, and then, in a soft voice, ask the title of the book. Remember what I said in the beginning? The book has to be the (number)th book ever created.
Should you answer right, you will stand in silence with the angel. It will transfer the knowledge of God to you; all that ever once was, is, and will be. Once the angel is done, you will pass out and awake in your own bed. Your life will be what you perceive "the best" life to be. On the (number)th night past this date, the angel will visit you in your sleep. The angel will tell you its name. If you ever speak the angel's name, the angel will appear before you... Yet, it will have the creature there. The angel will order the creature to take you away to eternal damnation.
This brings me back to where the angel asks you the name of the book. Should you get it wrong, the angel will call upon the creature to, you guessed it, take you away to eternal damnation.
Should you manage to get the number, you will be the richest man alive. That is, rich in knowledge (which, in turn, can lead to being the richest man alive in money value anyways). I bid you good luck.
Originally uploaded on /x/ in 2007
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