The Zombie Apocalypse
They won't find me in here. Before this fucking zombie apocalypse started, some evil genius summoned some crazy hell beasts to destroy the fucking world or some shit like that. I don't fucking know why he fucking did that. Maybe he was smoking some weed with Snoop Dog or some other shit that I don't fucking know.
I guess you want to hear the story of my fucking involvement with this zombie apocalypse. I was eating some spaghetti that my friend Luigi made when I heard someone ring the doorbell. Me, being the fucktard that I am, danced my way over to the door when I saw those giant hyper-realistic cocks outside of my door. Scared, I threw a skeleton that popped out in front of me a few days before at them.
Then I decided to carry my dog because he has some fucking involvement with story to my red Bugatti and decided to drive to some creepy old house that was owned by a millionaire that died a few hours earlier. After driving to the house, some scary hell beasts started to randomly attack us because they're fucking evil and they hate fucking Shrek. Rushing inside, I grabbed a shotgun that was just lying on the ground for some fucking reason and barricaded all the windows using some old, shitty planks that were also just there. Then I noticed that dog was bitten by the zombies so I told him that I was sorry and shot him in the face.
A few minutes later, it started to rain hyper-realistic blood for some fucking reason. Then, zombies barged in through the backdoor that I obviously forgot to fucking lock and I shot them in the brain. After that, I noticed a note reading only two words, "Ghastly Macaroni".
Then, some more zombies came and shot them near their pubic area. Shortly after, I climbed up to the attic where a bunch of scary dolls were hiding. And that's how I got here. I don't know how long I can survive anymore. I hope I can survive for much longer.
Please, whoever finds this must keep this after I die of a quick and painless death. I can hear some more zombies coming in and I don't have any ammo. OH SHI-
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