The bloody potato
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NSFW WARNING
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Once upon a time there was a potato. This was no ordinary potato however. It was filled with blood. Red blood. And it was scary. Anyways, back to our bloody story. There once was a princess with blood red eyes and hair who wore a blood red dress covered in red lace. She was always trying to find a prince but her bloody vagina always scared the princes away. This made Princess Blood sad. She decided it was time to kill herself. She got out a red blood incrusted kmife and stabbed herself through her blood red dress into her red nipples, which then bleed blood. She cried, and her tears were blood. She then raised the knife that was dripping with blood to her mouth. She carved a big bloody smile into her bloody mouth, before cutting her red tongue into pieces. She then went to stab her bloodshot eyes out, impaling them on the knife, and licking them with her bloody tongue. By now there was a lot of red blood. She was about to die. She fell to the red floor, as she died vomiting blood and spiders out her vagina, as she was on her period. Then suddenly, Mario came crashing through the blood soaked window! "Oh no! A princess is a dying!" He said in his famous German accent. He grabbed her bloody wrist and felt for a pulse. Alas, the blood at stopped running through her veins. "Oh well, of she already a goner, I guess it won't be hurtin' to eat her!" He said in an English accent. He started by devouring her chopped up tongue, tasting the tastbuds of the dead Princess Blood as they slide down his throat, coating his throat with blood. He noticed the bloody nipples and got aroused, and his vagina got wet with blood (he was also on his period). He chomped the nipples, tearing them apart with his teeth, getting his teeth bloody. After he finished devouring the nipples, he bent down, bit down into the bloody princess's neck with his vampire fangs, and sucked all her blood, until she was totally flat. He got bored, seeing as all the blood with inside of him now. He decided he must carve it out so he can drink it again. So in his southern accent he exclaimed, "I must cut open me stomach so I can drink the gore again!". So he took the bloody knife the princess used to kill herself with, grabbed the bloody handle, and cut off his penis. He devoured it, then cut open his stomach, in a bloody way that got blood everywhere. He pulled out his stomach, put it to his lips, and drank its contents, as the blood and pus went back inside of him. However, what he failed to consider was his stomach acid. The acid ate through his bloody throat, as he fell to the ground, coughing up blood, as his eyes got bloodshot. He clutched the blue carpet, as bloody sweat poured from his arms. Mario yanked the dead woman's fingernails and shoved them down his throat, in hopes the nails would grow into a new ultra powerful throat. They did. Now he could drink all the acid he wanted, so he went and did some LSD
Mario later died of food poisoning.
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