Threat Level: White

I woke up to the sound of rain and wind beating at my window. Water droplets pelting against the glass, the raging wind howled like a midnight beast, trees swaying like captive souls raging against their tormentors. Hurricane Matthew was not kind to my town.

My name is Matthew.

I ignored the multiple evacuation warnings. After bird flu, swine flu, and ebola I had enough of freaking out over fearmongering. I got my vaccinations, what is a hurricane going to do to me?

But this warning was different. My phone made a noise I never heard before. It was an awful, ear-grating sound that made me want to vomit. Distressed, I looked at my phone and saw that Spotify was playing a Coldplay album. Weird.

As I closed the app, I noticed there was a new warning issued from the weather service. "Oh let me guess, I'll catch Russian autism if I go outside today?" But there was no autism, only a message that said,

THREAT LEVEL: WHITE. DO NOT LEAVE YOUR HOME. GET YOUR FAMILY AND PETS TO HIGH GROUND AND DO NOT LEAVE UNTIL THE OKAY MESSAGE IS BROADCAST

Threat level... white? That's a weird system. But the storm did seem to be getting pretty bad, considering my bedroom was flooded. So I grabbed my cat and headed for the attic.

I sat and waited for what felt like an eternity, when I realized something was VERY wrong. My cat, Kim Jong-Un, was unresponsive. Panic set in, my fingers began to tremble and my breathing was erratic. I picked up Kim Jong-Un and listened for a heartbeat. Then I remembered he wasn't a real cat.

"Wew, that's a reli-" *THUD*

I heard a large boom come from downstairs. Paralyzed with fear, I could only sit and wait as I heard thunderous footsteps slowly ascend the stairs.

*THUD*

Like a hammer swinging against a nail.

*THUD*

Like a gunshot in the far distance

*THUD*

Like my mother swinging a lamp against my dad's head.

And then, I saw him. This towering figure stood, casting a shadow over my attic. My jaw dropped and my heart raced. I finally realized what THREAT LEVEL: WHITE meant. WHITE for... skeleton.

His calcium-rich bones clanked and sklanked as he walked closer to me.

"Uh, I don't know who you are, but please don't hurt-"

He put his bony finger over my mouth to shush me. I closed my eyes and prepared for the worst, but after a brief pause, I looked to see him holding something. A gallon of milk.

"Should I... drink this?"

He nodded.

I opened the lid and drank. I drank for what felt like an hour. I emptied the gallon, making sure I caught every last, savory drop. I could feel the calcium enriching my bones. I could feel the vaccination-induced autism leaving my body. I felt great.

He went to the window and opened it, and before he could leave I asked him, "Will I ever see you again?"

He turned his skull and said softly "doot doot", and then leaped from my window and flew into the distance.

My phone rang again, "THREAT LEVEL: CLEAR". I wiped a single tear from my face.

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