Town without any apparent Name: CDI PORt, .EXECUTABLE FILE FORMAT!/111!2
Author's note: theres a character in the story called spingle dingle and it turns out theres a youtuber with that exact name that i coincidentally happened to come up with on the spot so id like to say: oopsie daisy
Alright, so here's the deal, my name is Waltuh Whiter. Last month, November, i was walking around da hood because i didn't have nothing better to do for no reason to do with the month it currently was. While i was waddling, i noticed an old man in alleyway smoking crack cocaine selling sketchy video games. Of course, since i, Waltuh Whiter, hate old people who smoke crack cocaine and sell sketchy video games in alleyways, i decided to beat him up and steal all his shit. Feeling accomplished, i decided to check the loot i got. I got Super Mario for the PS4, Fortnite for the SEGA Pico, and... The Town with no Name for the CD-I? Of course, i reacted by saying "no, this... this can't be" like that funny boondocks clip, because as one would know, Town with no Name was NEVER on the CD-I. I of course had to skedaddle back home zippity quick to solve this.
I plugged my SEGA CD, then unplugged it because i realized i plugged in the wrong damn console, then plugged in the CD-I and slammed TTWNN into the tray and started the thingamajig up. Everything started seemingly normal, just like TWNN would start up. I thought to myself "maybe this truly is the twnn we made along the way.". But i would soon find out this is not the case. I started it up, and the cutscene of Not Shane entering the town played as it would on any other console, only except not because this one is on the CD-I. However, i came to realize something was super sussy. When the game actually started, instead of the point and click adventure visual novel game i've come to know, i instead saw a platformer. I said "holy fucking shit thank god i hate point and click adventure visual novel games" because im a poopyhead who never played Putt-Putt. I made Not Shane continue on into the town, of which has no name, but something was incredibly not epic. As i continued walking, i realized that Evil Eb's littlest brother wasn't showing up to stop me. Another thing i realized was that the deeper Not Shane continued to walk into the town, his sprites would slowly turn more monochrome. His skin white, his hair sticking out of his cowboy hat black, the whole shtick that shouldn't be shticking. But the weirdest thing was that instead of his eyes turning monochrome too, they were the only things staying in color.
This didn't make any logical sense because his eyes never had color to them in the first place. I realized that this truly wasn't the standard role. Eventually Not Shane turned fully into this.. thing.. But then, he suddenly stopped. I then said "WHAT THE BARNACLES!!!" out of anger and fury, because i had to win. But i couldn't win, because Not Shane's lazy ass didn't wanna keep going. However, Not Shane then suddenly turned to me and said "fuck off m8 il beat the shit outta ye, i know what you did to that old man smoking crack cocaine selling sketchy video games in an alleyway". It was at this moment i knew exactly what was going on. There is a legend that says if you do Heisenberg Meth ontop of a game cartridge, it would break bad. However, this wasn't a cartridge, it was disc. But then i said "tomato tomato", a terminology that doesn't make sense through text but you get the point. I knew immediately that Not Shane must've done something truly terrible by now, because that's what happens when the Heisenberg Meth curse occurs. I then made him turn around and i found out that behind him all of the other characters in the game were dead with hyperrealistic piss all over them. At this point i knew "ah hel na". I immediately tried to turn off the console, but despite my attempts, it wouldn't go bye. I said "no, this... this can't be" like that funny boondocks clip because this didn't make any sense. This is how you fiddle the riddle, this is how the riddle has always been fiddled. I then realized the only way to fiddle this riddle this time was to kill Not Shane within the game itself. So i used my GMOD Tool Gun and i spawned a noose and then made Not Shane watch LTG. Not Shane immediately died without even touching the noose just from watching LTG tell him what he tells. I said "well that was ez" and then i turned the console off and threw the cartridg- i meant disc out the window. As the disc flew away like a silly little frisbee to go be someone elses problem and pollute the enviroment it said "ahoohoohoey" like the scream that Goofy from Micheal Mouse does.
I said "lmao get fucked" and procedeed to unplug the SEGA CD, only to realize i still wasn't playing on the SEGA CD and i just fucking broke the wire on my SEGA CD from trying to unplug it while it was already unplugged. I then said "pwomp pwomp" while trying to hold back from acting like Doug Walker when he was crying on the computer with cartoon sound effects. I then proceeded to unplug the CD-I and chill. But then i realized i STILL didn't have shit to do for no reason to do with the month it currently was, so i decided to plug in my PS4, and then quickly changed my mind because i remembered i had a PS5 and plugged that in instead, and started playing Super Mario for the PS4, a game which has always existed. However, immediately something what super sussy. Even sussier than the thing i just got done with, because instead of seeing Super Mario from the Super Mario Franchise, i instead saw a being that looked like Joel Vinesauce from the Vinesauce Channels quickly approaching the screen. I slammed my fist on the table harder than i ever had and said "dang" in all lowercase. The fake Joel Vinesauce then told me then "JOKES ON YOU DUMBASS, THE super mario HAS GHOST TOO!", but the scariest part was that everything sounded just like Joel from Vinesauce, except one thing. When Faker Joel said "super mario", it didn't sound like Joel from Vinesauce, it sounded like someone cropped Charlie Martini saying "Super Mario Odyssey!" for the title screen from Super Mario Odyssey except they also cropped out the part where he said odyssey. I was immediately appaled. I told this imposter pretending to be Joel from Vinesauce "WHY DOES ALL THE VIDEO GAME HAVE GOHST??" and i then tried to turn off my PS5. But it didn't work, because of course it didn't. Except this time, since the ghost inside this game saw what happened to the other ghost, they strategized better and made sure that i didn't have the ability to do it again. So i decided to call my friend spingle dingle for help, and he answer "hello it me spingle what tf you want" and i said "HOLY FUCK SPINGLE HOW TO REMOVE STAN- I MEAN SANTA- I MEAN SATAN FROM MY GAMES!!" because i had a bad stutter from how shivered my timbers were.
Spingle told me then "fam just pour anti-satan juice and some eyebrows and some eye drops on it" and i thought that was a great idea. So i poured all that stuff on the game and it fucking died with the Yoda Star Wars death sound, and i said "ok" only to realize spingle was still on the phone, but i decided not to hang up because his ass HAD to see this tomfoolery. I decided to crumple up the Super Mario on PS4 disc and i mailed it to my estranged sister with a weird obsession with discs, i dunno what she be doing with them discs that make her so joyous but thats irrelevant. I took the final game left, Fortnite for the SEGA Pico, and grabbed it, and then i realized i left the PS5 on like a dumbass so i went to unplug it, and then i realized my dumbass also left the PS4 sitting out even tho i didn't even end up plugging it in. So i put all that shit away and straight up fucking threw the Pico at the Tv screen since it was really durable and this shit was probably gonna have a ghost in it too so it was probably gonna read it even tho that fucker aint even plugged in, slam dunked the booky weird semi cartridge thing that SEGA Pico games are onto it and started it up. As expected, something funky happened, except it was truly spooky.
The ghost of the old man who smokes crack cocaine and sells sketchy videogames in alleyways, his wife that also died for unrelated reasons, Not Shane, the pissed on bodies of everyone Not Shane killed, Fake Joel, Stan, Santa, Satan, and at the center of the screen, Peter Griffin, were all just standing there. It was at that moment i realized what was REALLY going on. This wasn't the Heisenberg meth legend, nor were all of these people standing there. The only true ones were the ghost of the old man who smoked crack cocaine. and sold sketchy games in an alleyway and maybe his wife that died of unrelated reasons, all the others were hallucinations and divisions of the same people, like a bunch of bees and the king and maybe queen bee. I realized i may have angered the old man who smoked crack cocaine and sold sketchy games in alleyway because of what i did, and he was trying to get back at me, but i didn't really care because i still hate those types of people. I tried to look back at spingle on my rotary phone for more advice, but spingle FUCKING GOT KILT AND DIEDED WITH SUPER MEGA REALISTIC BONE POWDER. I was pissed, but then i thought "what would spingle do?" and i realized exactly what spingle would do if he didn't previously get fucking kilt and dieded. He would've told me "blorp", which is the keyword for me to have a FNF rap battle with the opposing force. So, i took spingle's, and definitely not mines of which i just made up and pinned to spingle, advice and me and the ghost of the old man who sold sketchy games in an alleyway while doing crack cocaine started singing fight or flight starved eggman fnf against each other, while his wife that died of unrelated reasons played poker because she didn't fucking care. During the rap battle, the ghost of the old man who did crack cocaine in an alleyway and sold sketchy videogames told me that i get no bitches, and this INFURIATED me. Because us gangstas from da hood take getting told we get no bitches very seriously. So i turned into my SUPER EVIL HALF ANGEL HALF DEMON WOLF FORM. Of course, because of my epic gaming skills and definetly not because i have plot armor, and also definitely not because i beat his ass again, i won the rap battle against him, and he was now legally obligated to leave.
I was finally free. Still however, pissed i no longer had anything to do and didn't get to play as Peter Griffin in Fortnite for the SEGA Pico because the old man who sold sketchy games in alleyways made it so Peter wasn't real, i ended up never being able to sleep again between 3-5 business days. The End. Oh yeah, i still had to clean all the shit up. I put the Fortnite for the SEGA Pico game into the darkest pit of Florida and my pet boulder shat on it. And i threw the SEGA Pico itself into the basement by whacking it down the stairs at full force. It may or may not have broken. The End End.
Signed: Me. I made this. Me. ME!
ps. im not adding images because im lazyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy add images if you wanna, but i aint doing that shit. signed: still me (Tony Stark with glasses explaining the joke: He is a narcissist.)
Written by Eduardo*One1
Content is available under CC BY-SA
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