Vermont MacBlue
The following 3 stories are real accounts by real persons of real sightings of legendary figure Vermont MacBlue.
April 7th, 2024
Originally posted by retrogamer9203901249025u092485435; Audio
So i was playing Pong on my Atari 4600... I entered the online lobby but noone was on, nobody played the game anymore. But suddenly just right when I was about to turn off my console and take a dump i got matched up with a mysterious player called only "VMB". I shuddered a bit thinking about the tale of Vermont MacBlue a siller kerial in my area who died 99 years ago... but I laughed it off and decided to join amatch with this guy even though every bone in my blood was sweating.
The round started;. 3 2 1 go! And immediately this guy started bouncing the ball all over the place and making it curve and moving his paddle crazy fast. I was like wtf? He's cheating. But I was determinde to win so I pressed on. That was the biggest mistake I ever made since 5th grade when I ate a crayon in front of Susie Mackarel and she said ew and didn't want to hang out with me at the playground.
Round after round after round he was playing pro moves and doing things I thought were impossible. I swear he made his paddle larger at some point. Then when the game ended he won 10 to 0 and then something creepy happened. . Normally after u win you go back to the lobby right? But it didnt instead it just lingered on that screen with the word "WIN" on it and then suddenly his paddle walked over to my paddle and broke it in half! Than a text on the screen said "YU'RE NOEXT" and I got so scared I jumped up and down and said What the Frick! Then I runned out of my house because Vermont MacBlue came out of the screen and was gonna get me and then kill me. I ran so far away and I ran all night and day then I stopped because I ran out of breath Vermont MacBlue still was there.............. I narrowly escaped with my life but i wont let my child buy Pong on the iPhone 20 becase I remember still what happened when I tried to play pong. The End
May 19th, 2025
Originally posted by xxxXxxxx_tiddlyw1nkspro_xxxxxXx
So I am what I would call the top player of tiddlyiwnks in my area maybe the country maybe the world (unfortunately funding for the International Tiddlywinks Tournament is low). No body fucks with me; ppl say "Oh he looks like a Nerd he can't do tiddlywinks" and their jaws drop when I start tiddlying every god damn winks. However I am very humble about my tiddlywinks skills as something that happened when I was a child permanently altered the course of my life.
Tiddlywinks was highly illegal in my school because of how addictive it was and how competitive the game got. A teacher would see one of those little plastic disks laying around in the classroom and shout "WHOSE TWIDDLYINK WAS THIS" (they hadn't got the name quite down) and we would all tattle on whoevers tiddlywink it was because we were all snitches and we all hated each other. Then the poor kid would get shipped off to one of those boarding schools like Roald Dahl wrote about. In fact my uncle is friends with Roald Dahl and sent me the original version of Matilda with all the tiddlywinks references intact but it's cursed and spooky so I can't show it to you guys.
So me and my friend Jacquois were "T'ing the W" as you'd learned to call it, in the treehouse where the secret Tiddly Club held its bimonthly meetings. Jacquois was good but not quite as good as me, despite losing every now and then I would end up usually winning. After a game I said "haha Jacquios you lost again, I guess I'm the top Tiddlywinks player." And Jacquios said "if you're so good why don't you challenge Vermont MacBlue?" Everyone in the room gasped. Vermont MacBlue was the Tiddlywinks killer he killed only people who lost a game of Tiddlywinks he wa sentenced to death. But then they kept saying "Do it! Do it! Do it!" and I new I couldn't turn down the bet or I'd be lame so I said Ok.
So I went into the spooky abandoned house and lit a candle and said the rhyme "Mr Vermont don't Eat or Blink I challenge you to a Tiddle of Winks". A man wearing all blue suddenly walked out of the shadows I couldnt see his face. I said ready sucker and pulled out my Tiddlywinks equipment he just nodded.
It turns out Vermont MacBlue is very bad at Tiddlywinks and he kept asking me the rules. He didn't have a mouth but he had one giant eye that looked rotated 90 degrees and whenever he talked he would spring his eyeball out like one of those prank glasses and then move his eye socket like it was a mouth. I said I couldn't see his face but at one point he turned the lights on to go get a can of Diet Coke from the fridge and he kept saying it was flat and he needed to fix his fridge. Every now and then I would see him extending his eyeball and wincing a bit as he poured it behind the eyestalk into his socket, and a lot of it spilled out onto the floor because it's like if you tried drinking soda with your head turned sideways. One time he just poured it in his eye without taking his eyeball out first and he was like ahhhh and I laughed at him and he said shut up.
Anyway I won. Not only that but I lied to him about how the scoring system works and told him I got 5 million points. He said "fuck this game it's too easy" and then started either crying or drooling, I can't tell. I knew he couldn't kill me because I never lost 1 single game of tiddlywinks ever in my life so I laughed at him and called him a loser and then I left.
Boy was that a mistake.
The day afterward when I got home from school it turned out he graffiti'd my garage saying Tiddlywinks Is For Losers. This emotionally devestated me and I no longer take pride in playing tiddlywinks or even play it that often. Also his lettering was really good it looked like one of those street graffitis. Vermont MacBlue was actually cooler than me? It was an unfathomable concept and even now I have spent many days sleepless trying to piece together this mystery.
August 9th, 2025
Originally posted by REALCRYPTIDSLAYERREAL
i am a profosinal cryptid hunte.r i huinted slenderman i kiced the guys ass . met mot h man i killed him with a bug swatter. and i found brain parasite spidesrs and let them in my left cranial lobe their names are julienne and stephen they like dubstep and darkwave. so when i read the above two stoires about a "vermont blue" i did nt give a fuck's ass, i was ready t o meet htis mother fucker and show him what's for.
so i went to the abandoned house bringing a candle and a gameboy advance with a copy of drake and joshf or the game boy advance. in drake anf josh you alternate between palying drake who has to do stealht missions and sing songs to pick up women and joshw ho has to do block pushing puzzles. i was good at thi sgame so good i played it every day and night the title screen song is my wake up alarm i love drake and josh gameboy advance.
so iw ent to the abandoned house and i played drake and josh gameboy advance crazy fast i speedrunned it so good the guy whos in charge of the drake and josh page at speedrun.com wouldnt believe his eyes because i was using so many glitches and advancdec techniques. so i finshed the speedrun and i was in the abandoned house and i went "wow i think thats the fasetset anybody could ever play drake and josh gameboy advance nobody can do it better"
just like i expcedded suddenly the console came to lfie on its own and started giong through the title screen and picked new game and drkae and josh was moving through all the wallsa nd activating cutscesns that didnt exist and a bunch of cheaty fake stuff and finished in 3 minutes. then i lit the canlde and vermont macblue was on the other side of the room and i asked him if he cheated at video games using his electronic interference powers because he sucked at physiacal games like tiddlywinks.
suddenly my pacemaker went out and i died!!!!
is pent like 3 days as a demon ghost before possessign my roommate and sending his soul to the pasta zone. i know not to fuck with vermont macblue because hes a sore fucking loser!!!!!!!!! and i'm pretty su rehe stole my brain spiders!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the end!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The preceding 3 stories were written by anonyomus internet users unforunate enough to encounter legendary figure Vermont MacBlue. After evading law enforcement for years and electronically spreading false rumors of his capture, Vermont MacBlue has been arrested for attempted murder and repeated FCC non-compliance.
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