What's going on?!
Hi everybody. Longtime lurker here but I think something is going on. You see I live in a quiet neighborhood of a city on the edge of a forest. There's a rather large onion festival every year and lots of biker gangs roll into town for it. Sometimes my aunt Cecile prepares a blooming onion for the locals-only decorative competition but usually she only gets a participation award since the biker judges consider it derivative of the Outback Steakhouses they frequent across the country. Anyways, sometimes at night I find myself watching pirated reruns of Cheers with only one light on in the house on the third floor and then something strange happens.
My dog lucky is usually the first one to notice. I'll be sitting there in my snuggie when his ears perk up and -well, his ears don't really perk up. You see he was raised as a fighting dog so the ears were clipped when he was little. So sad. But he's happy now don't worry. And when his ear stumps perk up he raises his head and stares at the hallway door. There weren't any sounds or movement. Sometimes then I'll feel a chill and the hairs on the back of my neck stand up since that's the only place on my body I don't shave. I imagine the hairs would stand up somewhere else too but I have this weird thing and I probably shouldn't get into it here but I suppose it started with this one time I went to the zoo and fell in the pit with a hairless bonobo and it just sort of dug its way into my psyche. So I'll go over and check the hall and there's nothing there but this keeps happening!
I told my warlock demagorgon uncle about it and he said it could be a great slor of zuul since they have a fixation on off-the-wall 80s nostalgia and it'll probably go away after I join him on his spirit quest next lunar eclipse. I don't really want to try peyote with my uncle since he's been in and out of prison a few times.
Am I good?
Credited to cottagecheeseceiling
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