Willytop

Variations of this story have been around since at least the Victorian era.

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One day, a boy was rushing to school, late. On his way there, some stranger stops him and asks him if he is late.

"Yes," the boy answers.

"Well, you can't just barge in there! You have to give them an excuse. Just tell them "Willytop". It'll solve all of your problems."

The boy hurries into class. When the teacher asks the boy why he was late, he replies with Willytop.

"I have never heard such terrible language! You march down the prinicipal's office right now!"

The boy goes down to the principal's office.

"Why are you here?" he asks. The boy replies with Willytop. The principal becomes shocked, expelling the boy from the school. "And don't you ever come back," he yells.

When the boy comes back home, his mother asks him why he is home so early.

"Willytop," says the boy. The mother becomes sad and starts crying, telling him to go to his room until his father comes home. When the father comes home, he asks the mother why she is crying.

"You go up to your son and talk some sense into him!" she says to him. So the father goes up to the boy and asks him what's wrong.

"Willytop," says the boy. The father becomes mad with him.

"Never in my life have I thought I would have to say this, but you get the hell out of here, and you never come back!"

Exiled from his home, the boy wanders around town, only to be stopped by a police officer.

"Hey, kid, why are you wondering around at night?" he asks.

"Willytop," says the boy.

"You get the hell out of my city, and if you come back, I'll have you thrown in prison!"

Now the boy was driven out of town. Hungry and tired, he finds another town, and goes inside a diner. In the diner, there was a bartender cleaning up.

"Hey, kid," the man says, "we ain't open till 10."

"Willytop," says the boy.

"Woah, hold on son. You don't want to say that around here. People don't take to kindly on that word."

The boy goes into tears. "But I was told that saying it would solve all of my problems! What does it mean, anyways?"

The man tells him, "I'll tell you later, but not right now. Wait until the diner closes tonight, and then I'll tell you." The boy waits until 8:00 P.M, and the man takes the boy to the alley across the street.

As they begin crossing the street, though, they get hit by a truck and die.

The end.

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