1899: Difference between revisions

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"The Joy of Cooking", a cookbook
 
"Goulash and Fork", a story about a fork who chases a bowl of gouglashgoulash around
 
July 1899
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Oh so wrong.
 
Mister Fox's Shed #15 was a story I regret reading. If I had something that could erase one of my memories from my lifetime, that would be the one. It gave me nightmares and unpleasamyunpleasant memories that'll last me my entire lifetime.
 
The story goes that Mister Fox is sipping tea in his shed when suddenly, a loud knocking comes at the shed door. Mister Fox gets up from his seat and opens the door. Standing in the doorway is an adult. "What the hell did you do with my daughter?" he saIdsaid to Mister Fox angrily. Mister Fox thought a minute and said, "She's in a better place, sir." "A better place?!" the adult exclaimed, angrier than ever. "What do you mean, 'A better place'?" "The one you're about to go to right NOW!" Mister Fox said, angrily, while jabbing a knife into the adult's back and letting it slice all the way up his back. This was all very disturbing, but the part that disturbed me the most was when Mister Fox, without warning, farted up into the sky.
 
I stopped reading the fox books then.
 
November 1899
 
I hadn't been to the library after that episode. Even though my books were way overdue and I would have to pay about $5.00 for it, I still wouldn't go to the library. One day, I got up my courage and decided to go to the library. When I got there, though, I saw that the section with the fox books had expanded. I couldn't believe it. How could a book series that gory be that popular? I was just about to leave until one of my friends from my wood-chopping class came up to me. "Hey there, Norman." he said. "Hi, Eli," I responded. "So," Eli started, "Did you read the latest Fox Book?" I almost had a heart attack when he said it. He liked them too? "No," I said, my voice cracking a bit, "Did you?" "I sure did!" Eli said, "I even wrote a letter to Mister Fox requesting that I be in his next book!" I couldn't believe it. Eli was going to be in a Mister Fox story. "Want to come with me?" he said suddenly.
 
'''THIS STORY IS NOT DONE, DO NOT EDIT!'''
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