A CLOSE ENCOUNTER WITH AZULA: Difference between revisions
no edit summary
imported>MakutaXadiret727 (Adding categories) |
No edit summary |
||
(14 intermediate revisions by 11 users not shown) | |||
Line 1:
__NOTOC__
==day 1==
I got up earlier than usual, at about 1:30 pm, today was a special day and I wanted to look as pretty as possible. I take off my shirrt and look in the mirror at my well-toned abs, my sexy pecks and my pride and joy, my nipples, so tender, so well toned. Everyone I knew was jelos of my nips, they wanted so hard to have them, but they were MINE, ALL MINE! No one could have nips as supple and jucy as mine! Where was I? Sorry, I got a bit carried away thinking about my... never mind.
I was going to a fancy dinner party, or some shit like that, I don't know. I met up with my best friend in the world, Feem, (let's just call him that) he complimented my on my nipples as expected then we met up with my friend with boobs, Sheila and we went to this fancy caferaunt, Nugget Palece.
Line 9 ⟶ 10:
The food was shit as always but we ate it anyway, it was free because Feem's dad was in a bromance with the owner. Feem ordered a whole whale carcass as usual (I don't mean that as a figure of speech by the way), ate the whole thing, farted on a candle and set the whole building on fire, so natrally we leave and I'm feeling slightly angry and stoned soe I leave for home.
That night was one of the worst things I've ever experienced, what made it even shittier was the dream I was now having: I was walking through a forest made of fried chicken, while the song "What Does The Fox Say" plays in reverse and at slightly lower pitch, I move through the forest, I look down and find that I can't see my feet, instead there was nothing but a fat belly, I don't know what is happening, I look foreward and see a most horrific sight, I'm actually eating the chicken, I'm physically eating all the fried chicken and it's making me fat! But one thing I will never forget and will traumatize me 'till the day I die is when I felt my nipples, they had lost their rigidity and had become ...hyper-realistic burger nipples. Then I saw a man
==day 2==
Even though the entity in my dreams was clearly Azula, I decided to watch a few episodes of Avatar: The Last Airbender, thinking that there is now way they could be posessed by some demon from another dimension that somehow coincidentally looks like Azula, if only I had realised I was in a creepypasta. The episode I was watching was "The Beach", remember, the one where Zuko, Azula, Ty-Lee and Mai play volleyball and stuff, yeah that was awesome, also seeing Ty-Lee in a bikini was always a plus, I know she's a fictional character and all but DAYUM! I WOULD TEAR DAT ASS UP!
I got to the part where Azula and her posse had just beaten a group of fire nation kids at volleyball, however instead of Azula giving her hilariously awkward victory speech ...something else happened, the screen changed colour (now you know I'm from the British 'cause I spell colour with a 'u') so the background was 50
==day 3==
Needless to say I started living over at Feem's house after that, the fire I started nearly bured the whole house down and in a panic I spilled bleach all over myself, I didn't want to get caught in the fire, the bleach would bleach my skin and worst of all, my nipples.
I began posting a blog about my encounters with Azula, most people dismissed it as "a load of bollocks", however, one person contacted me, saying she had encountered Azula too, her name was Toph, I thought to myself "SAY WHAAA!?" we talked on Skype and she went into great deatail on how she accquired this game from her friend Stalin, thinking it was a scary rom hack or something she played the game, it was called HitLEr
==day 4==
Oh god oh god oh god, why? Why did Azula want to rob me of the only thing I truly cared about, my one true love? And why the fudge did she have Toph in a cage? This sounds like the plot of some kinky Azula x Toph fanfiction, why!? Everyone knows it's all about Tyzula! Ty-Lee is love, Ty-Lee is life!
Line 33 ⟶ 34:
Az the Azula crisis was averted for now, I began to ponder, could Avatar: The Last Airbender be the work of the Illumninati? I then realised I was smoking meth at the time and decided to kill the Illuminati.
I killed them all, so no more Illuminati, no more conspiracies involving the Illuminati, just me, my nips and my psychotic stalker, Azula.
Speaking of meth, some other person messaged me on Skype, he called himself Heisenberg, he told me more about Azula and all of her associates, including Ty-Lee who was leading an Azula-worshipping cult calling themselves "the cult of PewDiePie", normally I would say this is all bullshite but I apparently spoke to Toph before and I'm apparently speaking to Walter White now apparently and let's not forget that it has become apparent to me that I'm apparently being hunted by a fictional 14 year old, firebending princess-bitch. Heisenberg had previously contacted a detective called Sokka after his sister's untimely demise at teh hands of Azula, Heisenberg was like Toph, trapped in Azula's world, he only had a few minutes to talk with me before Azula would get wise to what he was up to.
Heisemberg told me that Azula needed my nipples, the most powerful nipples in all of existence to complete her ultimate superweapon, this weapon is said to have the power of a thousand trouts to the face, the speed of over 9000
==day 5==
I know I can stop Azula, I can feel it! I acquired the ass key from Feem's ass, its power could help me stop Azula, it still smelled of whale and miracles.
Line 47 ⟶ 48:
Azula entered my house again, I was ready, I threw the ass key at her with all my might in an excessive melee of periodic table propotions. She deflected it with her middle finger in a very hyper-realistic manner, that's when I knew I was screwed, the ass key was my trump card, the one thing tat could defete Azulor and stp meh form making retarded spesling mistakes, seriously guys i'm not doing theis on purpose, I'm just really tried.
Azula grabbed me then I blacked out, to this day my Corpus Superium hurts and is sore.
==day 6==
still blacked out, hmm, hmm!
==day 7==
still blacked out, hmm, hmm!
==day 8==
I awaken
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!
==day 9==
I can't go on anymore, the only thing I've ever lived for is gone, my true love destroyed and cast away by an evil fire bending bitch.
I can't go on, I have decided rather than live a nip-less life, I shall end my life, right here, right now. As I sit here in this dark, dank pit of despair, I recount all the things I have done in my life, all the things I have experienced ...and the things I won't experience, I will not be part of Azula's seizure of depravity any more, her sick plagued, diseased world of madness and insanity, she may have my nips, but she won't have me, my life will end by my own terms, by my own hands, not her's.
==epiloge==
So that's how it happened, that's how Azula killed me, now she's building a superweapon, now that I'm dead I have come to know its name:
M. Night Shymalan.
[[Category:English Class Failure]]▼
Everything I have wroted here is the truth, all that has happened, it is all REAL Azula plans on turning our world into her own playground, I simply posted this article on the Trollpasta Wiki to avoid widespread panic, you, my beautiful person who is reading this story, are the chosen one, I bestow this knowledge onto you, so that you can continue my work, you are the only one who can stop her now, I hereby name you the one true Avatar.
Do not fail me, if you do, I'll kill you until you die.
[[Category:Trollpasta]]
[[Category:Jornel]]
[[Category:Satire]]
[[Category:WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT]]▼
[[Category:Im died]]
[[Category:Demins and Debbils]]
[[Category:Cliche Madness]]
▲[[Category:English Class Failure]]
[[Category:Well, that was anticlimactic.]]
{{Comments}}
▲[[Category:WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT]]
|