Attack of the Bug-Eyed Coat Hanger: Difference between revisions

I looked out the window and saw a whole army of identical coat hangers marching towards the door, armed with Springfield M1903 rifles in Mannlicher-Schönauer carbine stocks with M1917 bayonets and Pedersen Devices. Some even looked like dwarf spiders. Without hesitation, I called the police and they responded immediately, knowing that I wasn’t kidding due to the incidents that occurred the previous morning. I was suddenly grabbed by a giant hand. It was connected to a wooden dragon that resembled a mix between Ridley from the Metroid Series and Solaris from Sonic Next-Gen. With ax still in hand, I swung at the monster’s arm, causing it to drop me. I got up on my feet to see it dropping the ax on one of its own minions, cutting it in half to let it regenerate into two separate coat hangers. “What do you want from me!” I shouted.

 

 

Confused by this revelation, I asked, “what does Christian extremism have to do with me?” The lead coat hanger replied, “You would direct an animated movie that would unintentionally insult the Catholic Church, depicting them as religious extremists. The controversy surrounding that film would open a can of worms, ranging from a holy war between these United States and the European Union, to national socialists blaming economic depressions on the Autism Spectrum, to a third world war. My goal is to prevent all of that from happening by going back in time to eradicate you, thus erasing that abomination of a cartoon flick from existence.”