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Attack of the Bug-Eyed Coat Hanger: Difference between revisions
Attack of the Bug-Eyed Coat Hanger (view source)
Revision as of 21:59, 2 February 2016
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Peaking inside the ribcage of the lead coat hanger, I saw a red holographic head where the heart should be. Any projectile that touched it would go through it harmlessly. I asked God to give me a weapon that would be effective against ghosts. And by that, He gave me the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch, the only weapon that could decimate whoever or whatever would touch it.
And the Lord spoke, saying “first thou shalt take out the Holy Pin. Then thou shalt count to three, no more, no less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt count and the number of the counting shalt be three. Four thou shalt not count, neither shalt thou count to two, excepting that thou shalt proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the 'magic number', be reached, then lobbest thou the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in My sight, shall sniff it.”
I did as the Lord had instructed me to do. I removed the Holy Pin, counted to three, and lobbed the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch at the core of the lead coat hanger, obliterating it. The army of living coat hangers stopped dead in its tracks and crumbled into dust. Every Sunday after that, I would go to church and come across a coat hanger identical to the one I had destroyed standing right next to the Clerk’s office. Thankfully, this one isn’t possessed by any ghost from the future.
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