Attack of the Bug-Eyed Coat Hanger: Difference between revisions

“Greetings earthling,” I heard a voice say. The spaceship's occupant was a female green alien who vaguely resembled Sarah Jessica Parker in her early thirties. She was clad in a white-and-pink sleeveless skintight shirt that left her navel exposed (presumably her race’s way of showing the inhabitants of other planets that she was born from a mother instead of thin air), an Egyptian collar necklace, a pink miniskirt, white ankle-length socks, and black Maryjane shoes with pink high heels (which could explain her pigeon-toed footing and the nickname that I gave her: Goody Two-Shoes). Her hair was hot pink and her eyes were as black as beetles with no irises or pupils. There was also a small silver device strapped onto her left arm by a pink band; it was a nerplex container (if you don’t know what nerplex is, go watch the ''My Favorite Martian'' movie and find out).

 

 

 

Goody Two-Shoes was undergoing tickle torture as the coat hanger held her in place while pushing her bellybutton and tickling her loins, midriff, armpits, and kneepits with its now-dull fingers. It spotted me, discarded the alien, and approached me saying “stick your thumb up her nose, you melon-farming worthless thumb-sucker!” A rack of DC-15A laser rifles caught my eye. I grabbed one of those fancy sci-fi weapons, locked and loaded, and blasted away. The coat hanger appeared to be shocked by the loss of its arms.