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BOB.EXE: Difference between revisions
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imported>PeabodySam (LOLSKELETONS basically stated on the category talk page that 30,000 bytes is more of a estimate than a set number. As it is, this is over 27,000 bytes; surely, on a wiki where most trollpastas don't even exceed 5,000, this is enough?) |
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Oh, wow! A fully-functional copy of ''LEGO Universe'' that still works offline! Everything else didn't matter as soon as I read those words. Finally, I was about to play ''LEGO Universe'' again! It was a LEGO maniac's dream come true!
With that, I tossed aside the note and looked at the CD. It was blank and plain on appearance, though the words "BOB.EXE" were scrawled on it with permanent black marker. I immediately recalled that Bob was the name of ''<nowiki>LEGO Universe'</nowiki>''s mascot, and that only reminded me of how excited I was to play this game.
I rushed back to my computer and immediately exited out of The LEGO Movie Videogame, and in my haste I even forgot to save. Not that it mattered, anyway. I took out the disc for The LEGO Movie Videogame and threw in the CD for "BOB.EXE" so quickly that I nearly shattered it to pieces in my excitement.
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But, as I said, this only approximately 0.51 seconds, so it didn't bother me. I just thought I imagined it. My therapist often tells me that I imagine things. He just doesn't understand... all I need to do is JUST IMAGINE...
After that, it stayed on the "Connecting to Authentication" screen for about 10.3 seconds before moving on to the character select screen. To my surprise, none of the four characters displayed were my characters prior to ''<nowiki>LEGO Universe'</nowiki>''s closure. Instead, they were NPCs from the game... but not just any NPCs. They were Hael Storm, Vanda Darkflame, Duke Exeter, and Doctor Overbuild!
In my excitement, I did not notice right away a few things that seemed wrong. In the background, there is normally a bunch of blue-tinted stick figures playing around. Here, they were red-tinted instead and appeared to be missing their heads. There was probably some BLOOD, too. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3JKuaekBNGc The background music] sounded like it was 50% slower and in reverse for some reason, and I could swear that some parts of the reversed song almost sounded like the ticking of a clock, but I was sure that this wasn't symbolic of anything.
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I wasn't worried. So what if there were a few graphical and auditory glitches? I was going to play ''LEGO Universe'' again, and I was going to play as Hael Storm and the other Faction Leaders! Without hesitation, I selected Hael Storm and pressed the blue arrow to continue... or rather, I would have pressed the blue arrow, but for some reason it was red. And when I clicked it, I could have sworn that I heard high-pitched laughter in the background, sounding almost like an echoing version of Bob's laughter.
The screen went black for a loose estimate of 9.896 seconds. Then, the loading screen popped up and said that my destination was the Venture Explorer. Now this was the first time I thought something was odd. Was Hael Storm's savefile really only on the tutorial level of the game? I also noticed that the Venture Explorer's artwork depicted the spaceship looking even more wrecked than I remembered it. I just assumed that this was one of those new files that it downloaded; probably some cool hyper-realistic graphics update that was never released thanks to ''<nowiki>LEGO Universe'</nowiki>''s cancellation.
When Hael Storm spawned on the Venture Explorer, the first thing I noticed was that the Venture Explorer's interior was also considerably more wrecked than I remembered it, with entire pieces of the walkway chewed up into pieces. The nearby pods of sleeping minifigures in suspended animation were cracked open, but the minifigures inside remained lifeless. At first, Jett Moonshot was nowhere to be seen, but then I found his body smashed into pieces in a pool of BLOOD. There were more suspicious pools of BLOOD coating the entire world. I wasn't sure what [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-B0uRC-riDo the music] was, but like before, it sounded like it was played in reverse at 50% speed.
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''"EXCUSE ME," growled Bob, "I'M TRYING TO BE SUPER CREEPY RIGHT NOW. YOU GUYS ARE RUINING THE SPOOKY ATMOSPHERE!"''
''But it was too late. I realized that Bob had no power over me. It was all just a
[[File:ALonelyPotatoScreamed.png|thumb|SPOOKY SCARY POTATOES!]]
''With a sly chuckle, I snapped my fingers, and Bob turned into a potato. I then took off in flight like Superman and went on all sorts of zany psychedelic dream adventures full of pink elephants and shapeshifting dragons; an elderly interdimensional ruler who believed in literal blind justice; a cult of people who were accidentally worshipping Unikitty; a bunch of ghosts arguing over whose house they were haunting; some mischievous gremlins who were backing up the sewage pipes; and a LEGO Store that had every single LEGO set, including those that don't even exist, but always smelled musty for some reason. Everything was awesome.''
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"JUST IMAGINE..."
I turned around again to see where the voice came from, and what I saw... sitting on my computer desk... staring right at me... was a Bob minifigure, smiling with
.and then hyper realistic skeleton popped out with bob clothes and the end and then evil patrixxx ate my pc the end[[Category:Satire]][[Category:Vidya games]][[Category:File Extensions]][[Category:Hyper-realistic]][[Category:Blatant Ripoffs]][[Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck]][[Category:Shok ending]][[Category:Well, that was anticlimactic.]][[Category:Well, that was pointless.]][[Category:Crappy ms paint drawings]][[Category:POINTLESS VIOLENCE TOTALLY MAKES IT SCARY U GUIZE]][[Category:MOTHER OF FUCK THIS PAGE IS LONG LIKE MY PAINIS]][[Category:Stupid is as the main character does]]
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