Derp Never Dies: Difference between revisions

He must have been dead, because he was in the morgue. But he was breathing,  he had to be alive! Maybe he was a zombie? His head hurt, as it always did  when he attempted to think hard. Gee, everything looked a lot bigger than he remembered. He felt different  too. He got up, and quickly discovered that he could no longer walk on his  hind legs very well, so he hunched over and crawled along. He noticed he also a second pair of arms. He also felt a tail dragging behind him. What had that lightning done to him?! His head hurt again. He had to see what he looked like now.

 

 

As it turns out, they were taking out the garbage that day, and it was also  the day when the garbage truck arrived. The garbage was loaded in and they  drove off to their next stop, Blah City. At this stop (in the suburbs) the garbagemen didn't notice that one peice of trash had fallen out of the truck,  and was now lying in the street.

Over the following weeks, Sam's family noticed odd changes in his behavior. He had trouble concentrating, he slurrred his words, his IQ dropped like a rock, and most importantly, he was becoming obsessed with potatoes. Janet, his wife, decided she had to call a doctor about this. But when she tried, she saw the cord had been cut. A steel IKEA spork lay by it.

 

 

 

Written by Furbearingbrick.