Epic Crishtmas Multi-Feature: Difference between revisions
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(Created page with " Epic christmas multi-feature By it came from ohio Brought to you by the ferrero group Hi guys, welcome to the Christmas multi feature. It is a collection of short stories. We will now enter the first story Story #1 The day i woke up and saw kids praying to evil skibixxx So it was the day after thanksgiving and i woke up cuase i heard the evoker noise from minecra...") |
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{{note|Epic christmas multi-feature
By it came from ohio
Brought to you by the ferrero group}}
Hi guys, welcome to the Christmas multi feature. It is a collection of short stories.
We will now enter the first story
==Story #1==
{{email|The day i woke up and saw kids praying to evil skibixxx}}
So it was the day after thanksgiving and i woke up cuase i heard the evoker noise from minecraft and as you know its from a cult so i was goin ahhhhh and i go into the kitchen and i saw an evoker and there were kids praying in a circle and i wos like WTF is dis and then the evoker hit me with a laser and i took 4 hearts of damage. Gths wouldnt have been so bad, if i had remembered to stop by at shrines to pick up a light of blessing but is hadnt done that and i was about to die biut fortunately i had a fairy in my inventory and it healed me. I shouted at the evoker and his guys to get ut of my house and he said something that scarred me for life permanently: "No" i asked him why not and he hit me wit sum mor lazers and it hurted me so that i decided to whoop that man´s ass i kicked him in the face and goat a criticlal hit but then his head came off and so did his robes… he was not an evoker. Unter that costume, there was a skibidi toilet. I sproceedid in beating him up and ii was oust bout to deal fatal injury when he saidthat he always comes back so i called my good pal satanand he sent this guy to heaven(worse than hell) for copyright infringement. The end
==Story #2==
{{email|MY TREE IS ON FIRE!!!!}}
I woke up and my house smelled like hot metal i decided to play minecraft. I started a new world and selected Metal Sonic, EggRobo, Metal Knuckles and Super Sonic. I punched them in the order i chose them and than peta showed up and got mad at me for abusing super sonic i got sent to jail but the gaurds let me out because they didnt support peta I wento home and soaw that they took mynintendo so i went to their base and trien t o get it back. I knew that there was only one thing left to do, so i went to my fridge and grabbed the last remaining can of scum soda s. I chuged the whole thing and bagan to mutante. In my new, monstrous form, i wento n a mission to wipe out all of peta from the face of the earth. On the way, i iaccidenlu blew up y house and my creistmas tree was set on fire. NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
==Strory #3==
{{email|The ballad of kermixxx}}
<poem>Why are there so many pastas about Evil Patrixxx
And why the fuck he cant die?
pastas are visions, but only illusions
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Someday we'll find it, the rainbow factory connection
The lovers, the dreamers, and me
Who said that every wish would be heard and answered
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Somebody thought of that, and someone believed it
Look what it's done so far
What's so amazing that keeps us stargazing
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Someday we'll find it, the rainbow factory connection
The lovers, the dreamers, and me
All of us under its spell
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Is this the sweet sound that calls the new admins?
The voice might be one and the same
I've heard it too many times to ignore it
It's something that I'm supposed to be
(Rahh!)
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The lovers, the dreamers, and me
La-da-da, de-da-da-do
La-da-da-da-da-de-da-do</poem>
==Story #4==
{{email|How putin fannome taxed ukraine}}
<poem>Every perosn Down in ukraine Liked democracy a lot...
But the vladmir,Who lived just north of ukraine, Did NOT!
putin hated democracy! The whole left wing season!
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And he chuckled, and clucked, "What a great russian trick!"
"With this coat and this hat, I look even uglier!"
"All I need is a bomber plane..." The vladmir looked around.
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putin had been caught by this tiny ukranian daughter,
Who'd got out of bed for a cup of cold water.
She stared at the Grinch and said, "you fucking
"Why are you taking our freedom? WHY?"
He brought out his glock, and he brought it out quick!
He shot her in the face and got a crit she died
Then he went to the silo, himself, the old liar.
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And he puzzled three hours, till his puzzler was sore.
Then Putin thought of something he hadn't before!
And he declared war on ukraine</poem>
==Story #5==
{{email|How to stop franco from eating all of your eurocreme}}
Step 1:go to da comix store and buy some yu-gi-oh! Cards. (only buy one 11 card pack.)
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Step 2: open the cards.
Step 3: close youre eyes,and pick up the cards off the floor. Scream
Step 4: you now must prepare to fight franco. Get weapons and food and stuff.
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Step 8: if you won, he will explode in eurocreme and you will leave the game. WARNING: DO NOT EAT ANY OF HIS EUROCREME
Step 8: close your eyes, grab the yu-gi-oh! Cards and scream
You have now defeated franco. Congratulations! You can now enjoy some delicious, nutritious eurocreme.
==Story #6==
{{email|How I realized that I was dead.}}
I oncewokeup and realized that the universe is hell, and that we are all dead. Ooooooooohhhh philosophy smart
==Story #7==
{{email|How i realized that i wasnt putting enough effort into this pasta and almost gave up}}
==Story #8==
{{email|The evil patrixx movie deleted scene}}
So i was walking down the street whn i saw some guy put something in my mailbox. I inmediateley checked. It said "fortnite lore"
I pput it in my VHS player and it played a scen from my favourite movie of all time: Shrek.
It showed shrek gettingdressed but it showed part of his balls it was huge and i was like WTF
Why is this in a pg rated movie oh now i know why it got deleted.
It swichrerd to a picture of toad from mario crying about how bad the fortnite lore is but then peach showed up and got mad a him for criticizening the lore of fortnite, wich is, admittedly, quite well written. I then was li ro what tda fuck is dis i didt shut it off though and than it said ḧety dugee lost episode: the murder badge"i was extremely confused because even after reading multiple pastas about this show, i still have no idea what it was about all i know is that it was a british pre-k show about some squirrels or something.
It shrewd adog saying "ẗodya, i will murder a child" and it showed a badly edidtid clip of the banana splits movie where they put a pngimage of dugees face on fleegle and hte gy he was killing (i forgot his name because the movie was so bad) had a squirrels face on it but the squirrel was hyper realistic!!! The special effects in that movie that when fleegle cuts the guy open blood was litereallly kechtup and the guts were gummy worms or something. His girlfrien d was screaming and fleegle(dugee) killed her to. At the end there was a behingd the scenesclip of some interns using the "blood" on their hot dogs because they used all the ketchup in the set cafeteria for that scene and more wouldnt arrive for 2 weeks.
I then sold it on ebay for 50 cents
The End
==Story #9==
{{email|Haunted rizzler-the game}}
So I found a yard sale where a gaming cartridge was selling old men. Thcartridge said "i am the remaining cartridge of haunted rizzler- the game. It is based on a movie of the same name it's about a rizzler who loses his rizz and trieste get it back before his girlfriend finds out. I started playing the game and it showed this i played it and it sacked so bad that I sold him on ebay. A ople days later, som gys shoed p at my house and sued me for slave trading. I then died in prison. Did i regret my descicions? Did i learn my lesson ? well, to be honest i just want to say that i really dschouldnt of done something like that, especially so close to christmas. Its just, the world is dso terrible,i souldnt add to it,right? Oh… you were talking about playing "innapropriate" games.well, guess what, I DIDNT MEAN ANY OF THIS! HAHAHA!! I DIDNT LEARN NO LESSON YOU MORONS!!!!!
To be continued...
[[Category:Trollpasta]]
[[Category:Satire]]
[[Category:Holidays]]
[[Category:Memes]]
[[Category:Morons Attempting Poetry]]
[[Category:Vidya games]]
[[Category:Stuff Blowing Up]]
[[Category:Hyper-realistic]]
[[Category:Pointless Violence]]
[[Category:English Class Failure]]
{{Comments}}
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