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How to Summon Colonel Sanders: Difference between revisions
Added a detail I forgot to include when I was reading that ritual book
imported>Hyper-Realistic Mayonaise No edit summary |
imported>Hyper-Realistic Mayonaise (Added a detail I forgot to include when I was reading that ritual book) |
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* If you pulled out the tag in time, use your AR-15 to shoot your Alexa Dot after Kurt Cobain says “A DENIAL!” for the sixth time. One “A DENIAL!” too soon or to late will cause the ritual to fail, and you will not only have to get a new Alexa Dot, but Colonel Sanders will also be pissed at you; if you order KFC after you fail the ritual, you will die from salmonella poisoning.
* If you shoot down the Alexa Dot correctly, the eyes of your Mr. Potato Heads will turn hyper-realistic. If they do, go into your blue Toyota Yaris and perform the 11 Miles ritual. What you will want if you do 11 miles correctly is a sheet of orange construction paper. If your blue Toyota Yaris is cyan, however, upon completing it, you will instead receive black construction paper. This will be useless for the ritual, and you will need to attempt 11 miles again, this time in a blue Toyota Yaris that isn't cyan. If you are dumb enough not to use a Toyota Yaris, you will receive a bear trap rather than orange construction paper. Also, do not just buy orange construction paper at the store. If you use orange construction paper not received v.i.a. 11 Miles, your head will explode.
* If you receive orange construction paper, head back home to where you set up your pentagram of Mr. Potato Heads. Place it in the center of it on top of your destroyed Alexa Dot. Use your giant peppermint crayon to write the following, “Heus, vos Colonellus furcifer, ego did per sollemnes, et lucratus est eum ad me sentire vim magnam, et per portas capreis naturam ligurire BENIGNUS ARTICULUS I !!!!?” If you write this with a giant peppermint crayon you used before, the Mr. Potato Heads will animate and gouge out your heart.
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