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Impaleman: Difference between revisions
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The Impaleman is a mysterious figure with a dark gray cloak, and large needles, spikes, drills, etc on his
Recently, witnesses claimed that during 5:00 a.m., on every Tuesday, the Impaleman visits random houses, sticks his arm into the windows for a couple seconds, then disappears.
The Impaleman is very well known for butchering several innocent people on a mountain in 1990, and also for his 2012 worldwide massacre
[[File:Impaleman.png|thumb|416x416px|An artist's impression of the Impaleman.]]
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Spooky occurrences:
During the 1700's, corpses of several men and women were found under the Iron Bridge with the words "IMPALEMAN" carved on one of the victim's left arm
On August 12, 1921, a woman claimed that her son had completely gone missing, and she saw a dark, spiky, cloaked figure in her dreams.
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On October 10, 1966, an elderly lady believes that she had seen the Impaleman in her dreams. In one of them, the Impaleman was repeating the word "piss" very angrily while throwing a few curse words at her at the same time. She was unsure of whether she was supposed to laugh, or be frightened.
On December 4, 1982, a 5 year old boy had a sudden seizure during dinner with his family. He died in a hospital, and during his last moments, he was whispering "IMPALEMAN" over and over again- wait, how the fuck is this even a trollpasta?
The aforementioned mountain massacre in 1990 (March 12).
On April 1, 2000, a few Brits were having a party with a friend of theirs in London, along with several other people. Before the party could end, their "friend" suddenly shapeshifted into the Impaleman, who loudly screamed "OH, BOB SAGET!", then proceeded to slaughter '''everyone'''. He then said "April Fools, you filthy animal" before leaving the building.
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On July 31, 2007, a little girl was found dead with a drawing next to her. It was a crude drawing of the Impaleman.
On June 3, 2015, a 30 year old man claims that he used to be friends with the Impaleman, and left him because he described the Impaleman as "a drunk dickbag". He also had an uncomfortable feeling that the Impaleman was sexually attracted to him in some way, even though he wasn't.
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Me: Yes... you're...
I jumped onto the Impaleman
Me: ...TOURETTES GUY!
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then i killed him because he's evil
but he might have survived
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cliffhanger
[[Category:SUPR SKAREY IMAG]]
[[Category:Satire]]
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