Interstellar Garbage: Difference between revisions

<p style="margin:4.8pt0cm6pt;line-height:16.5pt;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-size:10.5pt;font-family:Helvetica,sans-serif;">Trust me when I say that there's no better place to relax after playing Mass Efect and Dark Souls for about 29 hours than The Random Beverage Drinking Place. They serve all kinds of stuff in there for the usual nerd-ass cuntface like I am. Like beverages. Good ones.</span></p>

<p style="margin:12pt0cm;line-height:16.5pt;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-size:10.5pt;font-family:Helvetica,sans-serif;">"WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOUR SHOES?" I said. </span></p>

<p style="margin:12pt0cm;line-height:16.5pt;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-size:10.5pt;font-family:Helvetica,sans-serif;">"Huh?". He had a deep voice. </span></p>

<p style="margin:12pt0cm;line-height:16.5pt;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-size:10.5pt;font-family:Helvetica,sans-serif;">"So how's it goin'?" </span></p>

<p style="margin:12pt0cm;line-height:16.5pt;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-size:10.5pt;font-family:Helvetica,sans-serif;">"Not much. Say, you interested in some... Magic?" </span></p>

<p style="margin:12pt0cm;line-height:16.5pt;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-size:10.5pt;font-family:Helvetica,sans-serif;">"Yes. The awesome kind." </span></p>

<p style="margin:12pt0cm;line-height:16.5pt;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-size:10.5pt;font-family:Helvetica,sans-serif;">"Sure, why not?" </span></p>

<p style="margin:12pt0cm;line-height:16.5pt;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-size:10.5pt;font-family:Helvetica,sans-serif;">"It'll cost ya 37 bucks." </span></p>

<p style="margin:12pt0cm;line-height:16.5pt;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-size:10.5pt;font-family:Helvetica,sans-serif;">"Still less than Metal Gear Solid: Ground Zeroes." </span></p>

<p style="margin:12pt0cm;line-height:16.5pt;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-size:10.5pt;font-family:Helvetica,sans-serif;">"Alright, before I start, I should say that my kind of magic involves paranormal shit, and everyone whom I showed to died of doubtful causes, because you don't mess with paranormal shit, and even if you did, you're not as cool as me, so you'll look like a looserloser and yes, I do use this power to kill people because I ran out of wall to bash my head into and I'm, like, completely addicted, it's like drugs, man, you can't stop doing it, but unlike regular shitheads like you, I don't get arrested because I'm pretty good at what I do, like, the goverment can't touch me and it's pretty awesome, but yeah, you've been warned, so, ready?" </span></p>

<p style="margin:12pt0cm;line-height:16.5pt;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-size:10.5pt;font-family:Helvetica,sans-serif;">"Do it already. Geez." </span></p>

<p style="margin:12pt0cm;line-height:16.5pt;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-size:10.5pt;font-family:Helvetica,sans-serif;">At that precise moment, he fidgeted around his suitcase for a bit, and he whipped out a dagger with words on the blade: "Thou Shalt Not Be A Grammar Nazi". </span></p>

<p style="margin:12pt0cm;line-height:16.5pt;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-size:10.5pt;font-family:Helvetica,sans-serif;">"Why does it say that?" I asked. </span></p>

<p style="margin:12pt0cm;line-height:16.5pt;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-size:10.5pt;font-family:Helvetica,sans-serif;">"Because they're total dicks." </span></p>

<p style="margin:12pt0cm;line-height:16.5pt;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-size:10.5pt;font-family:Helvetica,sans-serif;">Well fuck me. </span></p>

<p style="margin:12pt0cm;line-height:16.5pt;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-size:10.5pt;font-family:Helvetica,sans-serif;">"This shit right here has a story of its own, you see? Rumour is, it came from..." </span></p>

<p style="margin:12pt0cm;line-height:16.5pt;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-size:10.5pt;font-family:Helvetica,sans-serif;">"Came from what?" </span></p>

<p style="margin:12pt0cm;line-height:16.5pt;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-size:10.5pt;font-family:Helvetica,sans-serif;">"From..." </span></p>

<p style="margin:12pt0cm;line-height:16.5pt;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-size:10.5pt;font-family:Helvetica,sans-serif;">"Oh GOD, HE'S GONNA SAY SOMETHING TOTALLY UNEXPECTED." </span></p>

<p style="margin:12pt0cm;line-height:16.5pt;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-size:10.5pt;font-family:Helvetica,sans-serif;">"...SPAAAAAAAACE." </span></p>

<p style="margin:12pt0cm;line-height:16.5pt;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-size:10.5pt;font-family:Helvetica,sans-serif;">"JESUS F. CHRIST." </span></p>

<p style="margin:12pt0cm;line-height:16.5pt;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-size:10.5pt;font-family:Helvetica,sans-serif;">"But I say it's the dagger Aphrodite bought in a sweatshop." </span></p>

<p style="margin:12pt0cm;line-height:16.5pt;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-size:10.5pt;font-family:Helvetica,sans-serif;">And indeed I noticed the "Made In China" money induced sentence in the handle. He then proceeded to take out a can of foaming goo. </span></p>

<p style="margin:12pt0cm;line-height:16.5pt;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-size:10.5pt;font-family:Helvetica,sans-serif;">"And that is?" </span></p>

<p style="margin:12pt0cm;line-height:16.5pt;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-size:10.5pt;font-family:Helvetica,sans-serif;">"This right here is the dust of the Grand Wazoo. It's hot, so don't touch it." </span></p>

<p style="margin:12pt0cm;line-height:16.5pt;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-size:10.5pt;font-family:Helvetica,sans-serif;">"I see." </span></p>

<p style="margin:12pt0cm;line-height:16.5pt;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-size:10.5pt;font-family:Helvetica,sans-serif;">"SO NOW, THE CIRCULAR MOTION, UNKNOWN TO THE PEOPLE OF THIS AREA, BUT DESTINED TO BE THE ACTION EVERYONE SPITS ABOUT IN COMMERCIALS, MADE FOR THE FAT LAZY AMERICAN SITING IN HIS COUCH WITH HIS BEADY LITTLE EYES STARING AT THE SCREEN OF THE MAGIC BOX SHOWING CONAN MOVING HIS WIG AROUND THE SET, HERE GOES: THE CIRCULAR MOTION! RUB IT!", he screamed, while waving the dagger around in a frenzy and pouring the goo all over the floor. I think I saw the Devil in the process, but oh well. </span></p>

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