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Jeff Sends Letters to Santa: Difference between revisions
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*Massive pecs, washboard abs, and buns of steel
*near-godlike virility
*A katana that shoots lightning
*A five-star restaurant that will serve only ME
*A body double to throw off that damn detective who's always on my case. Damn him! No matter what I do to him, he JUST WON'T STAY DEAD!!! Oh. Ahem. Where was I? Oh yeah...
*Functioning wings that can support my full weight and that of another person, preferably batlike
*A huge velvet cape and warlock collar so I can look like a ''proper'' supervillian
*A huge, sinister pipe organ. I really don't know how to play one, but I took piano lessons for four weeks when I was eight. That's good enough, right?
*A vast,
*Oh yeah, and Smiledog says he wants a new squeaky bone. (mumble mumble...stupid needy mutt...)
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