King Koopa's Kool Kartoons: Difference between revisions
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<nowiki>*</nowiki>sigh* I don’t know why I get up in the morning... Hey, if you grew up in Los Angeles in the early 1990s, you may remember a television show called King Koopa’s Kool Kartoons. It was a live show involving a grown man in a detailed King Koopa outfit with believable reptilian features introducing public domain cartoons and the Muppet Babies to an unsuspecting audience... When I was young, I was a cast member on that show. By that, I mean I was one of the kids on the program who wore the Koopa Troopa t-shirt and hat. Don’t bother searching for it—you won’t find much of anything, other than confirmation that the program existed. Otherwise, other than the intro and outro, all you’ll find is one brief clip of King Koopa with his pet dog Ratso, disrupting a Thanksgiving dinner that Koopa had festively prepared for who even knows. After all, he was King Koopa—it wasn’t like he had any friends. I kinda felt bad for him. Then again, it was just a guy in a suit.
This probably doesn’t surprise you, but the show didn’t last very long. Not just because it was bad (which it was) but because of what happened in the final episode. The second King Koopa—the first one had previously quit due to an unspecified illness—he actually threatened a child on the program. I’m not kidding you. King Koopa literally threatened the life of a child, and it was enough to get the show cancelled! He read the kid's letter, which called him a bad guy in desperate need of liposuction and rhinoplasty. He responded with his trademark gravely voice, but this time he seemed legitimately
Me, uh, years passed by and I forgot that the show ever even existed. I was freshening up and preparing for a date before I decided to go get the mail before I headed off to Mickey D’s. Bills, bills, bills... Fast food coupons... Free trip to Tahiti... The usual. But that package…
I assumed it was from my mom, ‘cause she orders all sorts of junk off of eBay. But it had my name on it. Funny. I didn’t remember ordering anything
A VHS tape. No sticker on it, no title. Nothing in sharpie or anything like that. I don’t know why, but I sniffed it. Smelled like cheap early 1990s plastic to me. I didn’t consider it would be blank, not even for a moment, because there’s absolutely no reason why someone would mail anyone a blank VHS tape. I ran downstairs into the basement and found a musty ol’ VCR that I hadn’t used since my 12<sup>th</sup> birthday party. 12<sup>th</sup> birthday party… something came up in the back in my mind, but I didn’t know what it was. And it wasn't just cake or party games or that little red-haired girl that I liked. Or was it? Had to be something else, right?
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